Thinking of Leaving Again

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Kmonk, Sep 6, 2013.


  1. Kmonk

    Kmonk

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2012
    Location:
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Disclosures:
    Endorsing Artist: Fender and Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings
    Sorry in advance for the length.

    About 2 years ago, I was asked to start a band with a very good guitar player whom I hadn't seen in 30 years. We auditioned many singers and finally found the right one. Earlier this year, I was going through a difficult time. My uncle died, my mother died and my wife's aunt died, all within 3 months of each other. I was under a lot of pressure and without my knowledge, the band changed our rehearsal schedule to a night that would prefer to not do. I expressed my concern and received a text from the guitar player which read "Do it or I will find someone who will". I don't like ultimatums so I left the band. Two months later they ask me to come back because my replacement is not working out. I agree and do a gig within one week of re-joining. The gig went well. In the meantime we have 2 keyboard players when we only need one and have one guitar player when we really need 2. I also double on guitar because the lead singer plays bass. We have a keyboard player who also plays Sax and Flute and is learning guitar. For what we do we really need 2 guitar players. A few weeks ago, the guitar player acknowledges that we need to get rid of a keyboard player and add a guitar player. We all agree. I ask a friend whom I have known for 40 years and he agrees to join the band. The guy is by far one of the best players I have ever heard and easy to get along with. He hasn't even played with us yet and our guitar player is now saying that he doesn't see a need for another guitar player. He has been friends with the keyboard player that we are keeping for 30 years and says he can handle guitar even though its obvious that he can't. I feel like the only reason the guitar player wants the keyboard player to play guitar is because they are friends and if he was friends with the guitarist that I know he would have asked him to join the band months ago. In addition to that, he also said that he feels like he is being pressured to add a guitar player even though he asked me to find one. I have been right about every person we have auditioned even when the guitar player felt differently I was proven to be correct. I really think we need to add another player and am at the point that I am seriously thinking of leaving again.
  2. kdogg

    kdogg

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2005
    Location:
    Ohio
    You had three family members pass over a three month span, and this dbag tells you to go along with the new rehearsal schedule, "or I'll find some one who will". I can't understand why you would agree to return to this band in the first place.
  3. chuck norriss

    chuck norriss Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2011
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Now I understand why you haven't seen him in 30 years.
    Time for a new project? So you're at least 40 why do you out up with that **** at your age. I don't.
  4. Evil Undead

    Evil Undead

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Be gone with you, and don't go back.
  5. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2004
    Location:
    Fort Collins, Colorado
    Run your own life; don't let others run it for you.
  6. skychief

    skychief Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2011
    Location:
    West Coast
    I got kinda lost in the narrative.,,,


    Lots of dynamics going on.

    Bottom line:

    Theres really no room for TWO bass players.

    In some extreme circumstances, two guitarists can also work; (Duane Allman, and Richard "Dickey" Betts), etc,,, and im sure there are other "2 guitar" anomalies.

    But generally, two guitar players butting heads is a bad thing.

    Lotsa "friend" stuff going on with your band.

    3 words:

    Run, Forrest, Run.
  7. ggunn

    ggunn

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2006
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    The rest of what you say notwithstanding, there is no way I would ever call having two guitarists in a band an "anomaly" or "extreme". I would start listing bands with two guitars, but the list would go on forever (do you remember a band called The Beatles?). When I saw Lynryd Skynyrd back in the day, they had four guitar players.

    As for bass players, I guess you're right if they were to be playing bass at the same time (although I have jammed on electric bass with an acoustic bassist and we got along just fine), but the last band I was in my brother and I swapped out on bass and guitar and I loved it. Cake, eat it too...

    Every band has its own dynamic and it's more about getting along and making acoustic room for one another than it is the roster of instruments being played.
  8. skychief

    skychief Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2011
    Location:
    West Coast
    Agree 100%

    I was ugh.., inebriated when i posted that reply.

    The OP (Kmonk) plainly states that he has known some of the players in the band 40 years.

    Re-reading the post sober, his situation seems much more complex than it did the first time i read it.

    I really should not have commented at all, because I have no idea what the best course of action for Kmonk is.

    I still think he should leave, tho. Hes clearly unhappy with the band politics, and sounds like he might better off in a band with less drama. imo.
  9. jgroh

    jgroh Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    How about adding TWO new guitar players????
  10. Human Element

    Human Element

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2008
    Location:
    Knoxville, TN
    Take the new guitar player and find a drummer. Life's too short for drama.
  11. mongo2

    mongo2

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2008
    Location:
    Downdashaw
    This.

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