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Top engineer terminologies

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by JACink, Dec 15, 2013.

  1. JACink

    JACink

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    This list was given to me by our head of engineering the other day, and I thought I would share it with you. (sorry if this has already been posted, but I searched and didn't come up with anything).

    Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies

    1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED: We are still pissing in
    the wind.

    2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM:
    We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

    3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION: We know who to blame.

    4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH: It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

    5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED: We are so far behind schedule
    the customer is happy to get it delivered.

    6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE: The darn thing blew up
    when we threw the switch.

    7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING: We are so surprised that the
    stupid thing works.

    8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED: The only person who
    understood the thing quit.

    9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS: It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation
    is about hopeless.

    10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT: Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

    11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL: Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

    12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING: We'll listen to what you have to say
    as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

    13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION: I can't wait to hear this bull!

    14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS: Come into my office, I'm lonely.

    15. ALL NEW: Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

    16. RUGGED: Too damn heavy to lift!

    17. LIGHTWEIGHT: Lighter than RUGGED.

    18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT: One finally worked.

    19. ENERGY SAVING: Achieved when the power switch is off.

    20. LOW MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix if broken.
  2. floydman

    floydman Supporting Member

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  3. JohnMCA72

    JohnMCA72

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    #14 usually means that they're shifting the blame to you!
  4. deepBassie

    deepBassie

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    21. Let's take it offline:[/COLOR] you're a bone-head and your idea sucks balls. But I'll show mercy and crush your self-confidence privately instead of in front of these other idiots.
  5. vbd

    vbd

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    15. ALL NEW: Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. :rollno: that's real:(
  6. basspraiser

    basspraiser Jammin for the Lamb! Supporting Member

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    Hilarious.....gunna pass this along

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