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Top engineer terminologies

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by JACink, Dec 15, 2013.


  1. JACink

    JACink

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2011
    Location:
    Spain
    This list was given to me by our head of engineering the other day, and I thought I would share it with you. (sorry if this has already been posted, but I searched and didn't come up with anything).

    Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies

    1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED: We are still pissing in
    the wind.

    2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM:
    We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

    3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION: We know who to blame.

    4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH: It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

    5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED: We are so far behind schedule
    the customer is happy to get it delivered.

    6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE: The darn thing blew up
    when we threw the switch.

    7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING: We are so surprised that the
    stupid thing works.

    8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED: The only person who
    understood the thing quit.

    9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS: It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation
    is about hopeless.

    10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT: Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

    11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL: Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

    12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING: We'll listen to what you have to say
    as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

    13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION: I can't wait to hear this bull!

    14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS: Come into my office, I'm lonely.

    15. ALL NEW: Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

    16. RUGGED: Too damn heavy to lift!

    17. LIGHTWEIGHT: Lighter than RUGGED.

    18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT: One finally worked.

    19. ENERGY SAVING: Achieved when the power switch is off.

    20. LOW MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix if broken.
     
  2. floydman

    floydman

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2002
    Location:
    southeast CT
  3. JohnMCA72

    JohnMCA72

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2009
    #14 usually means that they're shifting the blame to you!
     
  4. deepBassie

    deepBassie

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2010
    Location:
    Redmond, WA. USA
    21. Let's take it offline:[/COLOR] you're a bone-head and your idea sucks balls. But I'll show mercy and crush your self-confidence privately instead of in front of these other idiots.
     
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  6. vbd

    vbd

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2010
    Location:
    Rio Grande do Sul - Brazil.
    15. ALL NEW: Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. :rollno: that's real:(
     
  7. basspraiser

    basspraiser Jammin for the Lamb! Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2006
    Location:
    Chicago - NW Burbs
    Hilarious.....gunna pass this along
     

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