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Unintentionally funny comebacks

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by slobake, Feb 26, 2014.

  1. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

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    When I was in junior high school one of our finest loud mouthed genuises was giving grief off to our gym teacher. This was a guy that may have been suffering from mental difficulties due to hair spray poisioning. His pompadour was so stiff he could have played football without a helmet.
    I don't remember the context but at one point the teacher shook his head and said "You ought to have your head examined."
    Hairspray boy came back quickly with "Oh yeah, well they wouldn't find anything."
    There was an awkward pause for a moment when even the teacher stared at him in disbelief. One person chuckled and the damn broke. The whole class was laughing hysterically while he glared at us all. I'm still not sure if he understood what was so funn.
  2. 1958Bassman

    1958Bassman

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    One of the local radio stations has a morning crew who has been working together for a long, long time. They have spats on-air, make some really snide remarks and come up with some very interesting comments. On one occasion, the woman who does the news was reading about a study showing that a low fat/high fiber diet isn't necessarily the cure-all it was supposed to be and had results to back it up. At the end, she said "Colon health- it's just a crap shoot". The other two guys were laughing so hard they literally fell out of their chairs because they took it the other way.
  3. kesslari

    kesslari Supporting Member

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    Disclosures:
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    Another one from high school. My freshman year I was on the wrestling team. One of the guys, call him Jim, was kind of nerdy. Another, call him Steve A***, was one of the "cool kids". They were doing some drill and Steve's shoe caused a rug burn on Jim's neck.

    The next day in Biology class (really!) one of the pretty girls noticed the mark on Jim's neck, which looked just like a hickey. She said "ooh, Jim, who gave you that?" Jim started to say "Steve A*** and I were at wrestling practice" but he only got as far as "Steve A***" when the whole class erupted in riotous laughter...
  4. 1958Bassman

    1958Bassman

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    It has been relayed so many times over the years that I doubt it could actually have happened in my friends' sister's Biology class, but they were discussing a particular human substance and the teacher mentioned that it consists mainly of proteins and sugars. From the back of the room, a girl asked "Then why does it taste so salty?", just before she realized exactly what she was asking and then, running out of the room, in tears.
  5. 73jbass

    73jbass Gold Supporting Member

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    Went into the restroom years ago at work,had to wash my hands first,and one guy says"where I come from we wash our hands after we pee". I said "where I come from,we dont pee on our hands".
  6. 96tbird

    96tbird Supporter Supporting Member

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    I had just moved to town and was commenting on the weirdo biology teacher to my cousin, Charlene. She told me this story and swears it was true.

    The bio teacher was showing slides of his summer vacation where he was camping and also studying insects. Suddenly a picture if his wife lying nude in the tent appears on screen. As pandemonium breaks out in class: gasps, guffaws and screams, one thoughtful student shouted "I thought we were finished with Class Reptilia, sir!"
  7. sharkbait130

    sharkbait130

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    I was working at a friends auto repair shop for a while (construction industry was slow and I was laid off from my plumbing job.)Some guy drives his car in and says "the engine is missing and really running badly." My buddy tells me to go pull a couple spark plugs , so I did. He comes up behind me just as I got the second one out and says "Let me see that." Without thinking , I dumped the really hot spark plug out of the socket and into his hand. The thing burned his hand and he dropped it almost immediately. "Hot?" I asked. He replied "Nope , just doesn't take me long to look at a spark plug."
  8. bassinplace

    bassinplace

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    I expect to see one of the banner t-shirt girls wearing this any day now.

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