1. Welcome to TalkBass 2014! If you're new here, we just went through a major site upgrade. Please post all concerns and bugs to the Forum Usage Issues forum. We will be monitoring that forum. Thank you for all of your feedback.

    The TB Android app is working, you may need to uninstall/reinstall. The iPhone app is still pending approval by Apple. If you haven't yet, try using your mobile browser - TalkBass is responsive to any screen size.

    Please read the TalkBass 2014 FAQ for lots of great info on the new software.

What do you look for in a friend?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by slobake, Dec 16, 2013.

  1. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Likes Received:
    10
    Me? I pretty much hang out with anyone who will have me. I have different relationships with different people depending on who they are. And there are some people who I do choose not to spend much time with. Mostly they are toxic people that want to take advantage of me. Then there are the vampires who always leave me feeling drained. You know the type.
    Lately I have been thinking a lot about this quote from Henri Nouwen:

    “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”


    Yes, I love being with this type of person but more importanly I want to be that type of person. I also want to be the person who is not afraid to cut loose and share the joy with others.
  2. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2001
    Likes Received:
    14
    Someone who shares my values and morals.

    -Mike
  3. bass geetarist

    bass geetarist Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2013
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ultimately, someone I'm cofortable being myself around.
  4. pacojas

    pacojas "FYYA BUN" Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2009
    Likes Received:
    2
    one word,... honestyhumorintelligence!;)
  5. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Likes Received:
    10
    I like that word. :D
  6. DwaynieAD

    DwaynieAD

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2010
    Likes Received:
    3
    unfortunately as evidence seems to suggest female seems to be at the top of my list. much to the chagrin of the wife.

    I like video games and heavy metal. hate sports and don't give a crap about cars. don't really enjoy drinking. no recreational drug use. I'm pretty boring my societies standards, so it's whatever..

    get along great with my drummer, shoot the bull with him all day every day, but we don't hang out outside of practice/gigs and that's really about it.
  7. Tat2dHeart

    Tat2dHeart Gold Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2010
    Likes Received:
    0
    I prefer to have friends who are honest, intelligent, thoughtful, and fun(ny). Being fluent in sarcasm is also a good trait.
  8. InsaneBassninja

    InsaneBassninja

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2013
    Likes Received:
    0
    Really am the same way as he is. Also someone that is like a brother from another mother.
  9. 3234718

    3234718 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Likes Received:
    7
    It just occurred to me that I haven't really made a new friend since high school. I've made a bunch of acquaintances. There's coworkers I hang out with outside of work occasionally. But my circle of real friends is essentially 6 people from high school, 2 of which I see or talk to regularly.

    But basically the qualities of my good friends are a good sense of humor, moderate to high intelligence, and mostly compatible interests.
  10. Stilettoprefer

    Stilettoprefer

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2010
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm cool with pretty much anyone that isn't fake or hides who they actually are. I can hang with smart people, dumb people, drug users, clean freaks and most religious folk. If they are genuinely nice and don't try to act like something they are not, I'll gladly be around them.
  11. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Likes Received:
    10
    A lot of great posts here. I like this and I am a little jealous.:ninja: To have long term friends like that sounds great.
  12. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2006
    Likes Received:
    10
    Someone who won't mind helping me hide the bodies and knows how to keep quiet about it.
  13. macaroni tony

    macaroni tony

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2010
    Likes Received:
    0
    honest, humble and at least a little adventurous. funny
  14. 3234718

    3234718 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Likes Received:
    7
    It's only been 12 years since high school (a really fast 12 years). Hopefully we all stick around for a while longer.
  15. BurningSkies

    BurningSkies

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Likes Received:
    6
    Large boobs.
  16. bassinplace

    bassinplace

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Likes Received:
    6
    I don't look for friends anymore, not at my age. I've got all the friends I need now. All the friendships I have now have been going for at least 20 years or more. There aren't a lot of them, but they're solid and they're not going anywhere. It's plenty for me. I actually tend to prefer my own company most of the time. It's peaceful and I don't tend to disagree with myself. :D
  17. slobake

    slobake Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Likes Received:
    10
    You are lucky, we disagree with me all the time. :bag: :p
  18. stevetx19

    stevetx19 Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2006
    Likes Received:
    0
    someone who challenges me to be my best, intellectually stimulating, adventurous
  19. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2002
    Likes Received:
    11
    A bit of the above but these people are also creative themselves. There's some inner sense that tells you that the both of you see the world similarly.

    A friend is also someone with whom you can always 'pick up where you left off' last...whether it was to go take a dump or, after not talking to/seeing them for a month(s).
  20. electracoyote

    electracoyote

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2009
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just went through a lot of soul searching on this issue, after I had to walk away from a good band because I could not tell if the other musicians were my friends or not. It's a really lost, lonely feeling.

    Bottom line: When I want to be someone's friend, I'll go the extra mile for that person, with no expectation of repayment, and I will always have their back and be there for them when they need my support.

    To be my friend, I expect the same from others.

    That kind of reciprocal friendship is rare in my 54 years on the planet. Clicking a tab on Facebook just doesn't cut it. I'm not beholden to "acquintances," and I don't "collect friends" to enhance my self-esteem or social status.

    I learned a BIG lesson in true friendship.

Share This Page