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Your parents were right, music IS a waste of time

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by pklima, Dec 15, 2013.

  1. pklima

    pklima

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    I spent years doing this music thing, kept at it long enough to release a big vinyl box set, tour Transylvania, play a Britney Spears song in a packed symphony concert hall, play in a salt mine 100 meters underground not once but twice, sing lead on a cover of Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy", get reviewed in a Russian edition of Men's Health etc.

    Then last week I spent about an hour frying bacon and melting chocolate to pour over that bacon. That got me more attention from women and made me feel more like a star than over two decades of music ever did.

    [​IMG]

    Damit. I don't even like chocolate.

    So, what else is better than music?
  2. waynobass

    waynobass Supporting Member

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    All foodies should be marooned on a desert island where the only things to eat are seaweed and sand.
  3. P Town

    P Town Guest

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    Bacon will kill you quicker than rock, and roll.
  4. chubfarm2001

    chubfarm2001 Supporting Member

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    It's chocolate and bacon. Of course they're gonna love that. It's science.
  5. two fingers

    two fingers Loud Mouth Know It All Blowhard Gold Supporting Member

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    The question is does bacon and chocolate pay the bills? If it does, then go for it!
  6. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS * Supporting Member

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    Bacon fat is the best treatment for ebony fingerboards.

    Oh sorry, wrong thread, that was for the musical misinformation thread. :bag:
  7. BigOkie

    BigOkie

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    It was while standing in line to take a whiz at Lilith Fair in 1999 that I realized there was more money to be made in managing portable toilets than continuing to play bass in a Skynard tribute band. Today my company proudly supplies porta-potties to art festivals, renaissance fairs, and Star Trek conventions throughout eastern South Dakota. Our motto: "Your Sh@t Is Our Bread and Butter".
  8. pklima

    pklima

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    Exactly. Why did it take me so long to figure this out, though?
  9. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS * Supporting Member

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    Chicks dig scientists.

    Bass players ... not so much. :)
  10. bkbirge

    bkbirge Supporting Member

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    Disclosures:
    Endorsing Artist: Steak n Shake
    Please tell us you were playing in that Skynard cover band *at* the Lilith fair. I'd love to hear how that went over, lol. :hyper:
  11. chubfarm2001

    chubfarm2001 Supporting Member

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    I'm a bass player and a scientist, so is that why my ex's are bipolar?:D
  12. GKon

    GKon Supporting Member, Boom-Chicka-Boom Supporting Member

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    I'm moving to Poland.
  13. yodedude2

    yodedude2 Supporting Member

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    this does not make sense to me. what language is this? google translator was no help at all.
  14. PimasterPearson

    PimasterPearson

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    So melting chocolate and pouring it on bacon makes someone a "foodie?"
  15. bass12

    bass12 Fueled by chocolate Supporting Member

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    Bacon was once more intelligent than the average person. :atoz:
  16. dmusic148

    dmusic148

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    :-D
  17. Ewo

    Ewo a/k/a Steve Cooper Supporting Member

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    To quote the estimable Glenn Reynolds,

    "Bacon. Is there nothing it can't do?"
  18. SactoBass

    SactoBass There are some who call me.......Sactobass Supporting Member

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    I hate to be the one to say this, but, it still is. :meh:
  19. Ewo

    Ewo a/k/a Steve Cooper Supporting Member

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    Or...here's the start of a syllogism which I find appealing, somehow.

    The major premise is something along the lines of this:

    If tequila makes her clothes fall off, then chocolate-covered bacon makes...
  20. fnordlyone

    fnordlyone Supporting Member

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    her clothes cling unsightly to her morbidly obese figure.

    fnord!

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