I found this on the web... along time ago and though it would be fun to post... so people could have a good laugh.. this is my favorite one.. haha When referring to sex with a Metal Chick use only the terminology "sticking my clouded frost-spire into her gates of attrition". --- 101 RULES OF BLACK METAL --- 1. Don't be gay. 2. Be "true". 3. All people who aren't "true" are gay. 4. Be grim. 5. Be necro. 6. Be simultaneously grim and necro if at all possible. 7. Break things while being grim and necro. 8. Don't have fun at concerts. Stand around with arms crossed. 9. Repeat all above while denouncing organized religion in any form. 10. Never ever, EVER under ANY circumstances... 11. ...Listen to Peccatum. 12. When someone asks you if you enjoy the music of Mayhem, point out that you only enjoy the music of "the true" Mayhem. Maniac is gay. 13. Don't play with fuzzy things, excepting that by "play" you mean "burn". 14. Don't be Dani Filth. 15. Never, ever, under any circumstances utter the phrase "Kenny G slams, man." 16. Don't be Dani Filth. 17. When your mom tells you to take out the garbage tell her that you're too metal to remove refuse. 18. Don´t pronounce words that silly as Attila did on Mayhem´s "De Mysterriis..." (Fffffuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeerrrrrrrrraaaaal Fog) 19. Sodomize a virgin whore. 20. Sodomize anything that is not male. (Fuzzy things look out!) 21. Make sure your album goes out of print about 3 years after its release... so it becomes 'cult'. 22. When in doubt, say "True Norwiegian Black Metal!" 23. If that doesn't work, blast beats can fill any silence. 24. Turn any cross you find upside-down. 25. Nipple twisting is not a blackmetal activity.. 26. Write a cult, underground, grim and necro zine. Feature only interviews with bands no one has heard of, even "true" blackmetallers. 27. Never ever, EVER, EVER be open-minded. 28. Never write songs less than 15 minutes long and containing less than 15 adjectives in the title. 29. a) paint face. b) go in woods. c) act like troll. 30. Don't be Mortiis (or Dani Filth). 31. Don't wear white shoes after Labor Day. 32. Don't make jokes only your mom would get. 33. Don't make jokes. 34. When in doubt, scowl with eyes downturned. 35. Don't eat Marshmellow Peeps. 36. To producers of black metal albums: remember...no low end! If it doesn't hurt to listen to, it can't be "true". 37. Make sure that no less than half of the musicians on your album are "session" members. 38. When in concert, always growl names of songs so that they are imperceptible. This will ensure that anyone who doesn't have your "cult" LP won't get it. 39. Never play live. http://www.blackmetal.at/100bmrules.html Thats the site i got it from.. pretty damn funny id say.. specially if you know about the underground metal scene.. i scarcly know about black metal much.. but i know what the stereotypical.. im gonna kill you.. worship satan bM'er is like.. ive been around them...and not all but alot are like that.. some black/death metal is good though *cough*opeth*cough* but thats about the only thing i can stand..