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105 lies of the Rock & Roll World

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by PUNK&DONUTS, Feb 12, 2001.

  1. It's pretty long but pretty true!
    Great Rock & Roll Lies..

    1.Trust me.
    2.We'll let you know.
    3.Your cheque is in the mail.
    4.He's in a meeting.
    5.He's out to lunch.
    6.He's got two calls waiting.
    7.He's interstate.
    8.I'll call you on Monday.
    9.I'll get right back to you.
    10.You can depend on me.
    11.Don't worry, it's taken care of.
    12.That's what everyone's paying.
    13.It wasn't in the deal.
    14.Of course I remember you.
    15.Didn't you get my message?
    16.The mail must really be screwed up.
    17.We've been having some troubles with our phones.
    18.They always do it this way.
    19.They're on their way up.
    20.It's the best album they've ever made.
    21.I really love the band.
    22.This is the best you've ever had.
    23.We'll have lunch sometime.
    24.My agent will take care of it.
    25.I've never met a girl like you before.
    26.I'm not that kind of girl.
    27.She'll be backstage after the show.
    28.This coke hasn't been cut.
    29.There's none in town.
    30.Sounds good to me.
    31.You look great.
    32.I'm sure it will work.
    33.You should see them live.
    34.We'll definitely come and see you play.
    35.Don't worry, you'll be the headliner.
    36.The record company is totally behind this.
    37.I'm with the band.
    38.The band drinks free.
    39.Someone will be there early to let you in.
    40.Your tickets are at the door.
    41.The show starts at eight.
    42.We'll have it ready before tonight.
    43.I checked it myself.
    44.You won't find it cheaper anywhere else.
    45.The booking is definite.
    46.Of course you'll get a completed contract before the gig.
    47.It's an easy load in.
    48.There's plenty of power.
    49.Didn't you get the new contract rider?
    50.There will be lots of roadies when you get there.
    51.We'll have the flyers printed tomorrow.
    52.You won't have any trouble finding the place.
    53.I've played there before.
    54.We'll have plenty of time for a sound check.
    55.They never do a sound check.
    56.The club will be glad to let you use their PA and lights.
    57.He'll work the door for us tonight.
    58.You'll get your cut tonight no problem.
    59.You won't have to play any covers or requests.
    60.It's on the truck.
    61.It's a union rule.
    62.The roadie took care of it.
    63.If it breaks we'll fix it free.
    64.You'll have no problem fitting that speaking cabinet in the back of your car.
    65.Yes, the spotlight will be on you during your solos.
    66.I've only been playing for a year.
    67.I've been playing for 20 years.
    68.My last band had a record deal but we broke up before recording the album.
    69.I just use this little amp for small gigs -- I have a Marshall stack at home.
    70.Don't worry.
    71.It'll be perfectly safe if you leave it here.
    72.We have a great tour lined up for you next month.
    73.They said they don't have much equipment.
    74.There are t-shirts for everybody.
    75.These satin jackets run really small.
    76.of course they'll do interviews.
    77.They sound much better with the new singer.
    78.But they're huge in Japan.
    79.We can turn down the volume if it's too loud.
    80.The stage mix sounds just like the program mix.
    81.Sure, it sounds fine at the back of the hall.
    82.I am singing on key - the PA's screwing up
    83.It sounds in tune to me.
    84.We'll fix it in the mix.
    85.I know your mic is on.
    86.The hall sounds much better when it's full.
    87.You'll have a large, comfortable heated dressing room.
    88.This is one of Jimi's old Stratocasters.
    89.He swore he'd bring the limo back in an hour.
    90.I know we'll get some applause after the next tune.
    91.It's a last minute town.
    92.There's been a ton of shows in the market.
    93.The place was packed.
    94.We'll have you back.
    95.We'll make it up to you next time.
    96.If only the album had come out sooner.
    97.Nobody reads the reviews anyway.
    98.I had nothing to do with your marriage breaking up.
    99.It was on the rocks long before I met you.
    100.Have I ever lied to you?
    101.Of course you'll get paid to lug, you're the support act.
    102.Actually, the numbers were a bit down tonight
    103.It was a little bit quiet tonight
    104.Would you believe, the doortake only just met the guarantee!
    105.It'll be right on the night
  2. Groovy_Gravy


    Apr 26, 2012
    epic thread. cherry popped
  3. It's been quiet all week.
  4. punkjazzben


    Jun 26, 2008
  5. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    A few more

    This is the best you've ever sounded.
    We will do lots of advertising
    Don’t panic
    I’ll take care of it
    There is no volume issue here
    I used to play in that band
    The band gets to eat with the guests
    The whole band will be able to fit on the stage
  6. Tecate

    Tecate Supporting Member

    Jun 26, 2007
    You guys are great
  7. There's No alcohol in that drink...
  8. Jkaz


    May 23, 2009
    Chicago, IL
    Here's a few.

    It's a two hour gig.

    Our band never noodles between songs.

    You don't need a sound guy.

    That's my drink.

    That chick wants you.

    I can't hear my amp.

    and the list goes on................
  9. bassbully

    bassbully Endorsed by The PHALEX CORN BASS..mmm...corn!

    Sep 7, 2006
    Blimp City USA
    Good stuff... funny...but true.
  10. "I didn't f*** with your settings."
  11. I did not tell the other bands' drummer he could use your band's kit.
  12. lol, I like that one. :D
  13. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion

    Aug 25, 2010
    The Great Midwest
    Another one "Don't worry she's not going to the cops"
  14. NWB


    Apr 30, 2008
    Kirkland, WA
    I'm over 18.
  15. That line can quickly get a person in trouble... Big trouble. lol
  16. 4dog


    Aug 18, 2012
    Girl to guy:: Im clean.
    And vice versa.
  17. Rezdog

    Rezdog Supporting Member

    Feb 17, 2004
    T.Rez, Canada
    Greetings from the North,

    Great! 'We'll' sign in the beginning of the new year.

    Great! The next one 'will' be done in Nashville.

    Great! You 'will' have more involvement in production.

  18. Staccato

    Staccato Low End Advocate

    Aug 14, 2009
    News from venue, "Don't bother bringing an amp, one will be provided for you at the gig."
  19. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    I'm single
  20. MegaSwing

    MegaSwing Your Obedient Bassist® Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 26, 2002
    Baltimore, MD USA
    In my experience...

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