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A big moral dilemma, please help.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by IAMERICCOCHRANE, Aug 26, 2003.

  1. OK, last night I picked my girlfriend up at her friends house and we chilled for a few. Well when I took her home her mom saw me drop her off. This is bad because her mom said that she can't see me during the schoolnights (for whatever reason).

    Well I drove away and later that night my girlfriend called me, crying, and she told me her mom caught us. She said her mom dragged her by the hair and I bet she hit her too, but my girlfriend wouldn't admit to it. She said her mom was going to call the cops on me, which I guess she didnt because no cops came. Now this is messed up because her stepdad is a cop, and she said if she tried to stop her mom from yelling or abusing her, her stepdad would hit her too. She was also saying she wanted to commit suicide last night but I think I talked her down.

    But today, I said I would take her out to lunch, but when I showed up her friends said she didn't come to school today. I called her house and noone answered. I don't know what to do. Should I call social services on her parents or should I just let things cool down. Sorry for the long post, but I really need help. Thanks.
  2. steve-o

    steve-o Guest

    Apr 17, 2002
    how old is she?

    i would do somehthing fast..
    i would go over there even at the risk of being arrested....then call social services.

    my heart goes out to you nad her...

    and i hate parents like this..no reason to live

    hope i helped

  3. Atshen


    Mar 13, 2003
    Grim Cold Québec
    I see you're 17, right? At least you're not an adult yet, so I don't think her parents could take any legal action.

    That's a complex situation. Have you ever met her mom and/or stepfather? Do they really look like they are mean people? How long have you been knowing this girl?

    What I mean is, before you attempt any legal actions, make sure what she tells you is the truth. Then if it is, and that her parents really beat her, do what you have to do.

    Hope this helps a bit and good luck.
  4. Take here and run away to Canada. Or Mexico. Where ever is closer.

    But I suggest you start calling some important social people pronto.

    But there is no way you can let here pull a Jeremy on anyone.

    I also suggest she gets something to protect herself from her insane parents, mase, blunt object, tazer, whatever it takes.
  5. Geoff St. Germaine

    Geoff St. Germaine Commercial User

    I would go over to her house. What are they going to arrest you for. Last time I checked taking a girl out on a weeknight wasn't a crime, and neither was knocking on a door.

  6. yoshi


    Jul 12, 2002
    England, London
    If you do that, you'll end up getting shot in the back 5 times whilst attempting to climb a metallic fence on the border by armed police after the plan goes horribly wrong.

    (Anyone else see that film, the girl was called 'Angel', on last night BBC1 UK ?)

    On a more serious note, I think there'll be a degree of exaggeration on her behalf, I wont go any further as I'm not experinced in the matter nor do I know any facts (which I have to point out you dont seem to either, all opinions).
  7. that b\s should die down, but stick with her a lot and try to spend some time with her to you know make her feel better about herself and forget about the b\s at home...

    I have a friend I'm really close with and she's gone through a lot of crap, and I notice that when you make them feel like they're unique, special, beautiful, stuff like that....they find themselves able to pull through a lot better knowing that someone believes they aren't trash or an animal when they're treated like that.

    Your best bet isn't to call social services just yet.......families have conflicts here and there, and all social services will do is have her transferred to a group home more than likely out of your reach, and put her through hell....my mother had called social services as a child to get away from her crap and she said it was better being with her family than being in a place where she didn't know squat and saw people in way worse positions than she was in.

    Listen to your g\f, but don't take it to the extent where you think the world is gonna collapse, just look out for her and make her feel comfortable..that's what counts.
  8. if her step dad is an arse as well as a cop he can find a reason to make you look dumb and in cuffs....careful with that, you know?He's the cop, you're just a minor...:meh:
  9. Mental Octopus

    Mental Octopus

    May 24, 2003
    i don't think calling social services will do anything quick enough. maybe the police but you never know witht hem. i had a situation very similar to yours and they weren't quick enough to do anything. i think you should go over there and just take her to stay with you or something, that might get you in trouble but it would save her alot of pain. that's just what i would do.
  10. BaroqueBass


    Jul 8, 2000
    Salem, OR
    Well my logical sides says that a family can do whatever the hell they want to do to each other, and that includes being totally messed up and dysfunctional, just so long as it doesn't get out of hand. You gotta let people fight their fights, and youuuu gotta be picky when picking your fights.

    My emotive side says that you should bang her mom and her sister, and heck, even her stepdad if you swing that way... that'll show 'em! It's the bassist thing to do. :bassist:
  11. Mental Octopus

    Mental Octopus

    May 24, 2003
    oh yeah i forgot that her father was a cop, that complicates things. i guess you can wait and see if it cools down a bit, but then again if it's someone i care about very much i wouldn't take any chances.
  12. Her parents said she could not go out on school nights. What part of that do find hard to understand?
  13. I kind of agree. If it was really serious, she probably wouldn't have been allowed to call you after all of the stuff happened. It doesn't seem like there's a whole lot you can do at this point except to keep an eye on things and stay calm.
  14. steve-o

    steve-o Guest

    Apr 17, 2002
    just keep it cool..don't do anything rash....

    and don't be stupid!!!

    my last girlfriend her mom hated me because of something that happned with her sister..but wasn't my fault..really

    so we had to sneak around for awhile..

  15. Thanks for the replies guys. I decided that calling Social services would be a bad idea because all that will happen most likely is they goto court and the mother gets sent to anger management. Im still worried about her seeing as I still can't get a hold of her and am too scared to goto their house after last night. I guess (I hope) things will blow over and everything will be fine.
  16. I realize it was a bad Idea to get her, but the main point of this thread is what I should do about her abusive parents. You don't freaking hit a kid because they were out with someone, geez.


    Jun 1, 2003
    Orlando, FL
    ditto this. you definitely need to do something about their abusing her.
  18. No, but by helping her to sneak around and break her parents' rules, you're not putting yourself in a very good position to do anything. Think about it this way: if she didn't break the rule, her dad would have had no justifiable reason to hit her. Maybe he still doesn't, but it's a lot easier for him to explain that what he was doing was just "discipline" for breaking a rule. Dig? You might think the rules are unfair to both of you, but by breaking them, you're not doing anybody a favour.
  19. ldiezman


    Jul 11, 2001
    If you really want to find out if she is ok.. You should own up to disobeying here parents, go over to her house and apologize and make sure she is ok... If they have caller I.D maybe they aren't answering the phone when you call
  20. Use a payphone. !-800-CALLATT won't work since they probably won't accept the charges ...