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a blonde and a trucker

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Microbass, Jun 20, 2004.

  1. As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

    The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

    At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

    When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says " Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Canada and I'm driving the salt truck."

  2. Toasted


    May 26, 2003
    Leeds, UK
  3. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    Good one. My wife even liked that one.
  4. Frank Martin

    Frank Martin Bitten by the luthiery bug...

    Oct 8, 2001
    Budapest, Hungary, EU

    LOL! (Good thing that noone else is home!)
  5. Sonorous


    Oct 1, 2003
    Denton, TX
    Gave me a chuckle. Good work cadet.
  6. Acheingly lame, even fuqua wouldn't laugh at that.
  7. we dont salt roads in texas
  8. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    I don't get it. It doesn't snow here..............
  9. A trucker is driving his truck one day (as they do), when a blonde in a Porsche cuts across him and nearly crashes into him. The trucker, in a mad rage, gets out of his truck, pulls her out of the car and throws her on the ground. He then gets some chalk and draws a circle around her. "Now if you move one inch out of this circle", he says, "you're dead!". He then rips of the wing mirrors on her car. He turns back and the blonde is smirking. "Something funny?" he says, and runs back to his truck to get his baseball bat. He then smashes all the windows in her car, then pulls out a knife and shreds the tyres. He turns around again and the blonde is giggling. "What the hell?!", he shouts. He picks up the bat again and totally goes at her car, making huge scratches in the paintwork, smashing all the lights, tearing doors off. The blonde is laughing openly at this stage. He gets a can of gasoline, pours it all over the car, lights a match and watches her car burn. The Porsche has been reduced to a blackened lump of metal. He looks at the blonde, who is in hysterics on the floor. "What the hell is so funny?! I've destroyed your beautiful car! Why are you laughing?" Barely able to speak through her laughter, the blonde answers him. "Everytime you were wrecking my car, I was jumping in and out of the circle!"

    I liked it.
  10. Frank Martin

    Frank Martin Bitten by the luthiery bug...

    Oct 8, 2001
    Budapest, Hungary, EU
    yeah salt causes high blood pressure. Try eating it with pepper, for instance

    :D :D
  11. HAHAHAHAHA Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  12. Very tight!

    It hits you right there man... :)

  13. During the snow season roads are often salted to give better traction. :)
  14. umm...no.

    the salt melts the snow and ice to clear the roads down to the asphalt. sand is used for traction. i lived in indiana for a year and it got too cold for salt to act as an ice melt, so they threw sand on the roads and waited for the temperatures to come up.

  15. Funkize you

    Funkize you Guest

    Nov 4, 2003
    Westminster Ca.
    There is a Cop sitting on the side of the road, and watching traffic roll by... Then a Red Porche just FLY's down the road, *BEEEWWWW* On go the sirens... He pull's over the Porche to find a Bueatiful young blond girl.. he (With a Second of Hesitation) say's Can I see your License and Registration? The bonde says "What???", so the Cop repeats "License and Registration please..." To this the blonde say's "Whats a License???" and the cop say's "The plastic Card that has a Picture of you, Permitting you to drive legally" SO she hands him her purse and say's "YOu find it" He rumages through her purse to find No license... He then say's "You dont have a License... Hold on a second, Wait there" She says "Ok"... So the Cop goes to his car and realize's that she has no idea whats going on.. So he goes back to her car, pull's down his pants and she say's "Ohh no! Not another Breathalizer Test!!!"

    (Lot's of spelling errors... Sorry, Im lazy)
  16. Sonorous


    Oct 1, 2003
    Denton, TX

    That guy has anger management problems.
  17. Tsal


    Jan 28, 2000
    Finland, EU
    Yes, and salt is bad for your car. Especially when it attracts large animals to the road during the winter.. :meh:
  18. vbass


    May 7, 2004
    Bay Area, CA
    Wow. I already said I was sorry, you don't have to call me an animal.
  19. Frank Martin

    Frank Martin Bitten by the luthiery bug...

    Oct 8, 2001
    Budapest, Hungary, EU
    :confused: :confused: :confused:

    You didnt even post in this thread... at least not as vbass... ;)