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A Brief History of a Melting Bass Player

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Russell L, Jul 8, 2012.

  1. Russell L

    Russell L

    Mar 5, 2011
    Cayce, SC
    LOL, I wish I had a pic of myself last night. I was at home playing after riding my Harley to dinner in the heat. The ride itself was certainly not anything to cool one off, though, especially when sitting at a light with 96 cubic inches cooking the inside of my legs. It was just before dark, but still around 98-degrees out with a heat index of 105.

    So, back at home later, with the fans running inside I decided to watch a western on TV. Seemed to fit in with the heat, ya know? On the Western Channel they were showing Tomahawk with Van Hefling and Ivonne DeCarlo. It was a 2-1/2-star movie, not great, but doable. I must say, though, it was weird seeing Moses' wife wearing lipstick (DeCarlo was in The Ten Commandments, 1958). Seemed like a sin or something, LOL.

    No matter, though, as I lost interest in the story anyway and decided to turn the sound down and play some bass. I keep my rig in the living room ready for action when the movies are bad enough to watch only. Of course, with my bad hearing, I can hardly understand many of the lines (although I can understand the old movies better than the newer ones, why is that?). But, I can always understand the Indians hollering and Cavalry trumpets. Better yet, I love when the French horns start playing when they show a scene with beautiful scenery. It inspires me greatly while my hair blows in the fan's breeze, heh heh. But, without all that my bass lines can produce all the action and emotion to fit the scenes. Oh yeah.

    Well, I had been playing for some time and decided to sit down while I played, first on a stool, then, finally in the recliner. The recliner is ill equipped for the task, though. The arms are in the way, and I sink way down in it. It also makes my hands end up in the wrong positions. But, no matter, it was the end of the evening, I was hot, and wasn't really practicing. Actually, I was just trying to stay up awake for when my wife got home from a trip to meet an old girlfreind at Mammoth Cave in Kentucky. I slunk further and further down, sliding almost off the end of the seat. Eventually, I had the bass wedged between my hip and the arm, like being on a stand. As I became more tired and sleepy my head flopped over to the side. I was still playing and messing around, too. Suddenly, with my head sideways like that it brought up an image in my mind of Stephen Hawking, the way he sits in his chair (I love that guy and his thinking). Hm, Stephen Hawking on bass.

    Well, I was about to slip off into a black hole when the dog started to whimper, looking out the window. My wife had arrived. She was just in time to save me from melting away into infinity.

    I must've looked like a slob.:bassist:
  2. Mysterion


    Jan 10, 2012
    Here's the thing I don't understand about your story: Yvonne DeCarlo played Lily Munster, a role in which she wore enough lipstick to confound Nina Hagen...
  3. dminer


    Nov 26, 2007
    I saw Tomahawk as well the other night...Yvonne looked pretty cute but the actress that played the Native American girl with Heflin/Jim Bridger was HOT... IMO....anyway I enjoyed your interesting story and yes I've melted into the chair a few times myself...but "I ain't like that no more."
  4. Careful in the heat guys, I suffered from something part way between heat exhaustion and heat stroke.... one of the worse sensations of my life, I thought I was dying. A week later and still recovering.
  5. Russell L

    Russell L

    Mar 5, 2011
    Cayce, SC
    Oh, I saw her first in the Ten Commandments, years before the Munsters, when I was a kid. She stuck in my mind like that so that every time I see her she's always Moses' wife.
  6. Russell L

    Russell L

    Mar 5, 2011
    Cayce, SC
    Had a thing like that happen a couple of years ago when I was hiking. Thought my time had come. I had to lie down on the trail, couldn't stand at all, felt faint, and was beginning to freak out when my wife called on the cell. I talked to her for about twenty minutes, telling her how to come find me. But, it passed and I walked out and drove home. The doctor just shrugged his shoulders.:meh: Very scary. I'm 62, so...

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