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A conversation about dealing with people

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Floating teetH, Jan 30, 2005.

  1. Character A: Good at convincing people to do stuff. Once convinced someone to light himself on fire.

    Character B: Generally lacks social skills.

    These pals of mine are having a conversation in my car about how to deal w/ people. Character B proposes that character A give 'all-encompasing' advice on dealing w/ people.

    So the advice was something to the affect of, "Don't confront people with logic because it confuses and angers them. Act like you're agreeing and gently coerce them."

    I didn't think much of this at the time, but later myself and character b discussed the discussion. It was at this point that I began to consider that character a was giving poor advice to protect his trade secrets, so to speak. Perhaps this is wise.

    I more or less came to the conclusion that for the most part there isn't any real all-encompasing advice to give in this area.* A beautiful girl, for example, woun't have the same methods of dealing w/ people as a law enforcement agent.

    * here's the exception that seems obvious to me. To get someone to do something you have to make them want to do it. But that leaves a lot of room for interpretation, and might not be that helpful to someone like my friend character b, who is probably doomed for life because he was homeschooled and lived inside a box during important stages of his child-hood.

    Any thoughts?
  2. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Think less.


    Actually I think your character A has pretty much told you what you were thinking, just expressed another way. The best way to get someone to do something is to get them to think:

    a) it is the right thing to do; and

    b) that they thought of doing it, or would have thought of doing it, anyway.
  3. It's too early to start drinking.

    I read a book about this kinda' stuff once, and it mentioned the idea of making people think your idea is their own. That's not so easy when you aren't writing out dialogue backwards, though.

    I suppose the quickest route would be to point out why not doing things your way is a bad idea, but that's going to be easier for police and beautiful women.....
  4. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    No, he said think less.
  5. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Perfect. I have used this technique to convince contractors to do what they should do countless times. It's not important that you own the idea. It's fine if they think they thought it up, as long as you leave the situation with them doing what you want them to do.
  6. A gun at the head is also a good way to make people do what you want them to do! :D
  7. Only


    Sep 8, 2002
    Warrensburg, MO
    It's all true. If you try to convince someone with logic, they go into defense-mode, thinking "Now what detail ISN'T he telling me?" because they remember all the movies they've seen in which a character is tricked by false logic.
  8. At least when it comes to selling, all I do is make myself seem competant, then tell them what can go wrong with BOTH (or all three, four, whatever) choices. Then I tell them which is more likey to heppen, and let THEM decide. Sometimes they decide wrong, and I have to hold my tounge when they come back so I don't say "I told you so!!" But most of the time they decide right.

    And if they still don't get it, then page's idea of the gun to the head works as well. And gets a large point across.:D

    Rock on
  9. Intelligent people prefer to hear both sides of every argument before making a decision. I can't be bothered right now, but take a look at some social psychology research on persuasion you'll find some other interesting trends.

  10. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Suggested reading material:

    a) Idiot's Guide to Dealing with Difficult People.

    b) Tongue Fu.

    c) The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense.

    - and -

    d) 101 Lies Men Tell Women. :D
  11. Thanks for teh tips yall, my pal shalt appreciate them.
  12. I know one of the facets of this is there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I fight to stay on that line in business situations every day.
  13. Sundogue


    Apr 26, 2001
    Wausau, WI
    It all comes down to sincerity.

    Once you can fake that, you can do anything. :D
  14. I guess once you get to that point it's a struggle not to convince people to light themselves on fire. :smug:
  15. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    That's Beautiful!

    My 2c. People whoe are constantly being "convinced" by other people will tire of it very suddenly, and will protest in a number of ways all of which are bad for everybody. If you feel you need to convince someone, save it for when it matters!

    .....and then there's the trust issue, but that's a different thread.