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A rant that I thought was behind me but clearly is not

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Hevy T, Sep 26, 2013.

  1. Hevy T

    Hevy T Supporting Member

    Jan 11, 2011
    Lethbridge, AB Canada
    This is from a message that I facebooked a friend last night. I thought that I was over the crap that happened with the band that I just left, however I find it is still with me. Might explain why I don't care to practice, or go jam with a good friend that invited my over.

    How long does this feeling take to fade away? Or has the idiot gui**** that dashed me into the ground because of his indecisiveness win, and I don't want to trust or jam with anyone else?

    Here is the excerpt from my message...

    It is pretty sad when all you want to do is have fun doing something that you love then you have a clown like him come along and build you up then throw you to the ground just because he can't make up his mind. The thing that pi**ed me of the most about the whole situation the most is that after he cancelled the gig and turfed me he said that he loved my playing and would love to jam with me down the road and maybe play some parties. That's what threw me, his ability to take people and just use them as if they were just tools in projects that he is working on.

    I am sorry for the rant. I thought I was over this, but clearly it is still with me.
  2. mbelue


    Dec 11, 2010
    Punctuation win.
  3. Hevy T

    Hevy T Supporting Member

    Jan 11, 2011
    Lethbridge, AB Canada
    Sorry I have never been an English Major
  4. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    My take on this is I give most people one chance, I assume they are nice because walking around suspecting everyone of being bad guys is not a nice way of living. Sure you'll get burned a few times, but there's no way of being 100% sure, so go into things with a positive attitude and get out quickly if it doesn't pan out. This strategy actually works, most people are normally nice after all. It can sting for a while when it goes south, but you get over it sooner by doing something new rather than rehash what went wrong. Learn from it, maybe there were some signs it wasn't right, but move on as soon as possible - would you rather sit at home and mope or go jam with your friend? I know what I would choose.
  5. IPYF


    Mar 31, 2011
    Your message insinuates you were fired, but your post indicates you left. Which was it? The tone seems to indicate the former.

    Maybe you weren't working out in this guitarist's act? Maybe this person in question was just trying to soften the blow of letting you go by giving you some positives to take with the negative? Perhaps they didn't want to burn a bridge? Should you think about these things and inform yourself as to what you would do different next time?

    Honestly I don't have any advice for people who don't have the gumption to pick themselves up after a little setback. Copping out and moping is offensive to people with actual tangible problems.
  6. hsech

    hsech Work hard. My Social Security needs a raise.

    Jun 27, 2012
    Central Iowa
    Shi% happens. Move on. It's not the end of the world. I was going to put together a band last year and met a potential drummer for lunch. He brought his wife along and said she could sing so he insisted she be in the band. That never works. I told him I would get back to him. I continued advertising on Craigslist for band members. The potential drummer kept bugging me. I decided to go with a different drummer and this guy goes ballistic. As I continued advertising on Craigslist, he would post on Craigslist warning everyone to stay away from the band I was trying to put together. He acted like a five year old. Long story short, people make choices based on a lot of factors. If you appear to be a whining titty baby it turns people off. Move on.
  7. fhm555

    fhm555 So FOS my eyes are brown Supporting Member

    Feb 16, 2011
    +1 :D
  8. lfmn16

    lfmn16 SUSPENDED Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv

    Leave the drama to teenage girls. :D
  9. singlemalt

    singlemalt Supporting Member

    Dec 15, 2007
    White Salmon, WA
    A band didn't work out?

    Never heard of such a thing!
  10. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Make that +2

    Here's the thing. You can't let other people ruin you.

    My first love ever dumped me like yesterday's trash to go back to her old boyfriend.

    My first wife slept with my drummer to break up our marriage.

    Now, if I had let those two ruin me forever....... If I had allowed them to keep me from being able to trust another woman for the rest of my life, then I would not have been able to dive in head first with my permanent wife. We now have been married five years and have 2 amazing children.

    The POINT is, don't let one bad situation leave a bad taste in your mouth for music altogether. Back then, with the first two, I wasn't very good at relationships. But I learned from being burned. So by the time I WAS good at relationships I was ready for the woman of my dreams.

    Look at music the same way. Learn from being burned. Practice. Play the field and see what kinds of bands are out there. By the time a good band comes along, you will be better, stronger, and more prepared for what comes your way.

    Hang in there. It gets better.

    Edit: Sorry guys. I couldn't think of a car analogy or a tie to Hitler. So I went with plan C..... the old relationship comparison.
  11. jgroh

    jgroh Supporting Member

    Sep 14, 2007
    I dont know your whole story but I can tell you that I learned the hard way a long time ago to not take things like this too seriously. I chased/held onto several band members back in the day that I shouldnt have wasted my time on. Its not like this person is your girlfriend...keep it professional and find another situation asap.
  12. Hevy T

    Hevy T Supporting Member

    Jan 11, 2011
    Lethbridge, AB Canada
    Thanks for all the encouragement, btw yes i was canned. What caught me as strange was you are fired but i still want to play with you.

    But i am just going to move on and put this behind me. However i still am in no hurry. I have stuff at work that is more important rigbt now
  13. 6stringpanda


    Aug 9, 2013
    I agree-this has happend to me people who think you are a great bassist and want you to be a session player when you thought you were also friends.

    Like the gig is over, pack up your stuff and please leave silently.

    Wow-thanks for making it seem just like work.

    Many people are just takers and plain rude.
  14. phillybass101


    Jan 12, 2011
    Artist, Trickfish Amplification Bartolini Emerging Artist, MTD Kingston Emerging Artist. Artist, Tsunami Cables
    Keep it movin. Welcome to the Music Business!!!
  15. valus


    Sep 12, 2013
    Memphis, TN
    Excatly. We've all either been fired, or missed out on getting the gig in the first place. Keep pushing forward.
  16. RustyAxe


    Jul 8, 2008
    Sounds to me like HE didn't want the gig, for whatever reason, but doesn't have an issue with you personally, or with your playing (I'm sure there's much more to this story). Your message reads like a jilted lover ... ie, you invested way too much emotion into that project. Perhaps you don't fit the role the band needs ... but he sees other roles in which you would fit well. I can play the hell out my bass (as well as half a dozen other instruments) but I would be a poor fit (for many reasons) in many bands. I don't take it personally, and over the years have learned to recognize where I do, and don't fit.
  17. Crater


    Oct 12, 2011
    Dallas, TX area
    Sounds to me like the "we can still be friends" BS that a lot of people say when they end a romantic relationship. I wouldn't put too much stock in those words, they are probably insincere. The fire-er might be hoping to stay on your good side in case he needs a sub for a gig, or if the next bass player doesn't work out. :oops:
  18. nojj

    nojj Guest

    May 20, 2013
    It's not you, it's me.
    You deserve better than what I have to give.
    All those other bass players didn't mean a thing to me.
    Besides, Jaco appeared to me in a dream last night,
    and said I had to fire you, because you were destined for greater things.............
  19. +5. Get over it already, and move on.
  20. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    When Hitler wanted to invade Austria, he was all psyched to get up some troops, and show everyone the Blitzkrieg. Then his plans got foiled, because the Austrians just let him walk right in, and they voluntarily joined the Reich. Hitler never got his glorious battlefield triumph in Austria.

    If Hitler had let that stop him, he would've never had the Glory that was the Invasion of Poland! He turned that frown upside down, and sent in troops to wreak death and havoc upon the people of Poland. If that doesn't inspire you to try again, what will?

    How was that?

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