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A Re-run: Some are better than others

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by P. Aaron, Dec 9, 2005.

  1. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Subj: The Detroit Lions

    Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions & the Taliban?
    A. The Taliban has a running game.

    Q. How do the Detroit Lions count to 10?
    A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

    Q. What do the Detroit Lions & Billy Graham have in common?
    A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell, "Jesus Christ!"

    Q. How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
    A. Put up goal posts.

    Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
    A. A thief.

    Q. Why doesn't Flint have a professional football team?
    A. Because then Detroit would want one.

    Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
    A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

    Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
    A. The Detroit Lions

    Q. What do the Detroit Lions and opossums have in
    A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

    Q. How can you tell when the Detroit Lions are going to run the football?
    A. The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.
  2. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    i didn't get these two:

  3. First one means the Lions suck at running the football, and the second one means they don't come out to play for the whole game.
  4. I don't follow football, but those are pretty funny.
  5. i like them!

    i've already heard most of these only with the chicago bears substituted for the lions, but still funny!
  6. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    But the Bears at least, even in the 'Dark Times' put effort into a game.
  7. Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    The one posted in the "Perfect Season" thread was hilarious. About a child who got beaten at home, so he wanted to go stay with the Eagles because he didn't think they were capable of beating anyone.
  8. malthumb


    Mar 25, 2001
    The Motor City
    Those are hilarious. FWIW I ran into Barry Sanders this morning. [sigh] The good ole' days.


  9. Petary791


    Feb 20, 2005
    Michigan, USA
    Being from Detroit, I find that pretty darned funny.
  10. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca

    alright, number two i get.

    but i still don't know what the taliban having a running game means.
  11. As in running from US/UN soldiers chasing them.
  12. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    LOL! Nice!
  13. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    This reminds me of the Cowboys jokes that were so plentiful during their crappy years. At least the list doesn't include criminal offense related jokes. Does anyone else remember during MIchael Irvins' previous run-ins with the law:

    What do you call a crime ring in Dallas?...The huddle.
    Three Dallas Cowboys are riding in a car. Who's driving?...The police.
    Did you hear why Michael Irvin had to retire?...His probation won't let him associate with known felons.

    Dark days indeed.
  14. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Philly Suburbs
    this one

    Philadelphia, PA (AP) - A seven year old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

    The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

    After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia Eagles, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
  15. As an Eagles fan, I should find that offensive. But, considering our injury list right now, I'd actually have to agree. And, I can't find it offensive because we have no offense. Or defense, come to think of it.

  16. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Philly Suburbs
    i'm an eagles fan too.

    but it's hillarious.
  17. bassman314

    bassman314 I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process...

    Mar 13, 2005
    Bay Area, CA
    I seem to remember jive posting that same joke about the Saints back in our training camp thread....

    Pissed Gard off small amount...
  18. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Pbassing off Gard is a legit TB sport ...

    on with the Games!