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A Re-run: Some are better than others

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by P. Aaron, Dec 9, 2005.

  1. Dec 9, 2005 #1
    P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Sep 16, 2002
    Livin’ on a slab in Plano, TX
    Subj: The Detroit Lions

    Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions & the Taliban?
    A. The Taliban has a running game.

    Q. How do the Detroit Lions count to 10?
    A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

    Q. What do the Detroit Lions & Billy Graham have in common?
    A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell, "Jesus Christ!"

    Q. How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
    A. Put up goal posts.

    Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
    A. A thief.

    Q. Why doesn't Flint have a professional football team?
    A. Because then Detroit would want one.

    Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
    A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

    Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
    A. The Detroit Lions

    Q. What do the Detroit Lions and opossums have in
    common?
    A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

    Q. How can you tell when the Detroit Lions are going to run the football?
    A. The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.
     
  2. Dec 10, 2005 #2
    Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    i didn't get these two:

     
  3. Dec 10, 2005 #3
    heroincredible

    heroincredible

    Jun 19, 2005
    Calgary, AB, Canada
    First one means the Lions suck at running the football, and the second one means they don't come out to play for the whole game.
     
  4. Dec 10, 2005 #4
    Daniel Baskin

    Daniel Baskin

    Sep 1, 2004
    Maple Valley, WA
    I don't follow football, but those are pretty funny.
     
  5. Dec 10, 2005 #5
    superbassman2000

    superbassman2000

    Dec 20, 2000
    Minnesota
    i like them!

    i've already heard most of these only with the chicago bears substituted for the lions, but still funny!
     
  6. Dec 10, 2005 #6
    P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Sep 16, 2002
    Livin’ on a slab in Plano, TX
    But the Bears at least, even in the 'Dark Times' put effort into a game.
     
  7. Dec 10, 2005 #7
    Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    The one posted in the "Perfect Season" thread was hilarious. About a child who got beaten at home, so he wanted to go stay with the Eagles because he didn't think they were capable of beating anyone.
     
  8. Dec 10, 2005 #8
    malthumb

    malthumb

    Mar 25, 2001
    The Motor City
    Those are hilarious. FWIW I ran into Barry Sanders this morning. [sigh] The good ole' days.

    Peace,

    James
     
  9. Dec 10, 2005 #9
    Petary791

    Petary791

    Feb 20, 2005
    Michigan, USA
    Being from Detroit, I find that pretty darned funny.
     
  10. Dec 10, 2005 #10
    Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca

    alright, number two i get.

    but i still don't know what the taliban having a running game means.
     
  11. Dec 10, 2005 #11
    Davidoc

    Davidoc

    Sep 2, 2000
    Northern VA and JMU
    As in running from US/UN soldiers chasing them.
     
  12. Dec 11, 2005 #12
    The Golden Boy

    The Golden Boy

    Jan 2, 2004
    footballscannotbekickediguess
  13. Dec 12, 2005 #13
    Thor

    Thor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    Feb 14, 2003
    Warwick, Rhode Island, USA
    LOL! Nice!
     
  14. Dec 12, 2005 #14
    Bard2dbone

    Bard2dbone

    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    This reminds me of the Cowboys jokes that were so plentiful during their crappy years. At least the list doesn't include criminal offense related jokes. Does anyone else remember during MIchael Irvins' previous run-ins with the law:

    What do you call a crime ring in Dallas?...The huddle.
    and
    Three Dallas Cowboys are riding in a car. Who's driving?...The police.
    and
    Did you hear why Michael Irvin had to retire?...His probation won't let him associate with known felons.



    Dark days indeed.
     
  15. Dec 12, 2005 #15
    beaglesandbass

    beaglesandbass Think first, then post? Staff Member Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Philly Suburbs
    this one

    Philadelphia, PA (AP) - A seven year old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

    The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

    After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia Eagles, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
     
  16. Dec 12, 2005 #16
    leadfootbassman

    leadfootbassman

    Dec 2, 2005
    Hornell, NY
    As an Eagles fan, I should find that offensive. But, considering our injury list right now, I'd actually have to agree. And, I can't find it offensive because we have no offense. Or defense, come to think of it.

    BUT JUST WAIT 'TIL NEXT YEAR WHEN DONAVAN IS HEALTHY AGAIN!!!!! :hyper: LOL
     
  17. Dec 12, 2005 #17
    beaglesandbass

    beaglesandbass Think first, then post? Staff Member Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Philly Suburbs
    i'm an eagles fan too.

    but it's hillarious.
     
  18. Dec 13, 2005 #18
    bassman314

    bassman314 I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process...

    Mar 13, 2005
    Bay Area, CA
    I seem to remember jive posting that same joke about the Saints back in our training camp thread....

    Pissed Gard off small amount...
     
  19. Dec 13, 2005 #19
    Thor

    Thor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    Feb 14, 2003
    Warwick, Rhode Island, USA
    Pbassing off Gard is a legit TB sport ...

    on with the Games!