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A teensy bit of sweet revenge

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by TBrett, Apr 26, 2010.


  1. TBrett

    TBrett

    Nov 3, 2007
    Toronto, Canada
    The bf and I attempted to start our original band last summer. One of the guitarists we worked with in the beginning was all on for the project, talked big, had grand plans for us, claimed all kinds of industry connections (which we took with a grain of salt, of course), and was definitely a solid (if not brilliant) player. We set up weekly writing sessions. After a few weeks, he failed to show up for a session. We called, emailed, and finally got an apologetic response much later that day, saying that he had the flu, had taken a nap, and slept through his alarm. Um, yeah. We were less than amused, but decided to give him one more chance. Guess what? He failed to show for the next scheduled session, too - only that time, he didn't bother to respond to any of our calls or emails. Since then, he has occasionally emailed my bf (a very experienced bassist) with cover gig opportunities. My bf ignored him. Until now. Although our original project is finally progressing nicely (having found a solid, committed guitarist and fellow composer), we're still in very early stages. The bf needs a working band, as well. So he's joined a smokin', established hard rock band with a solid following. Only thing is, they need an equally smokin' guitarist, as their previous guy has had to drop out of the project for personal reasons. So my bf took it upon himself to post some ads on behalf of this new band. I think you can guess what comes next... The flaky guitarist from last year sent not one, but three emails (all with bad spelling), repeating how he's a pro guitarist with all the required gear, etc. (as if he didn't remember sending the previous emails), but each time failing to respond to the very clear request in the ad for bio, pics, and samples. Tonight, the bf sent him a reply, identifying himself, and stating that although the guitarist might have otherwise been a good fit, since he left us high and dry with no explanation whatsoever, he (my bf) can't in good conscience recommend the guitarist to this band.

    I'm loving it, I have to say. If this guy had simply emailed us to say he had moved on or was no longer interested in our project, that would have been just fine. It takes time to develop material and put an original band together and I can imagine that some musicians may not want to fully commit until the material is in place. At the time, though, I suspected that this guy's partying habits were the real culprit behind his failure to show, and that he figured he could blow us off because we weren't a working band. What goes around, comes around.

    Any stories of sweet moments like this you guys care to share?
     
  2. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Thats great. It sounds like your bf did the right thing. I dont waste my time on people who have flaked on me in the past.

    My current band was going through a drummer problem at the end of last summer. We had to fire a guy because he was a little crazy (like 5150 crazy). We had a sub fill in while we hunted for a permanant drummer. The same crazy guy responded to one of our ads saying he would still like to play for us. I had to tell him thanks, but we can't put our faith into someone who has proven himself unreliable. About a month later he asked me to stop sending him updates about our bands shows.
     
  3. Communication is king. If you can't/don't want to do the gig, say so- don't make me figure it out!
     
  4. TheRatt

    TheRatt

    Apr 24, 2010
    Pittsburgh, PA
    People just think it's easier to break all communication and move on instead of going through the not-so-messy details of leaving a band. You did the right thing. I'd be ruining the guy's reputation too if I had the chance.
     
  5. TBrett

    TBrett

    Nov 3, 2007
    Toronto, Canada
    Ha! While it's tempting to smear him, we haven't done that, and we won't. But if he crosses our path again, he now knows that any projects we're connected with will not include him.
     
  6. Some musicians value their rep more than others.
    once it gets around that you're a flake its over for you
    at least in my town.

    back to beginner bands for flaky biscuit gui****s
     
  7. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Man, the curse of the passive-aggressive musician! Theres just too many of them!

    I'll relate a story: A drummer friend of mine has been going through some hard times. He recently got himself into some trouble while his band was in Las Vegas. Afterwards the band started distancing themselves from him. I can understand not wanting to be associated with him, thats not the crummy part. The crummy part is that the lead singer (his cousin) starts talking to his sister (theyre twins) about the troubles and that theyre thinking about canning the drummer, which is also understandable. What I dont get (well I do, its the passive aggressiveness) is that she talks to everyone about it but the drummer in question. He finds out about it from a second hand source (his sister) and feels bad, understands their reasoning, but feels bad because no one can just come out and say it to his face. I found out yesterday that the entire band broke up.
     
  8. TBrett

    TBrett

    Nov 3, 2007
    Toronto, Canada

    Yet another reason why band business should be kept within the band. That guy must have got himself in some heap of trouble to have everyone react that way, but definitely, the band should have had a private meeting and told him what they were thinking. While I can understand talking over your problems with a close sibling or friend in order to vent or get some perspective, perhaps it should have also been made clear to said siblings/friends that the drummer did not yet know the rest of the band's views, and that any information divulged should be treated as confidential until the band had a chance to speak directly to their drummer. Passive-aggressiveness sucks.

    I ended up unintentionally firing a drummer by email last year and felt really bad about it. We hadn't worked with him long and very quickly, we discovered he had serious meter problems that he apparently wasn't aware of. Considering he'd been playing over 20 years, we figured those problems were pretty ingrained. So what started as a simple email from me about wanting to pick up the tempo considerably and inquiring as to whether he'd be okay going there, eventually turned into him saying, "I see where this is going. Good bye!" Not quite the graceful parting of ways I'd intented, but lesson learned.
     
  9. TheRatt

    TheRatt

    Apr 24, 2010
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Sounds like a pretty clean break compared to the other stories ITT.
     
  10. MooseLumps

    MooseLumps Supporting Member

    Nov 4, 2007
    Portland
    I've always felt that the best revenge was looking down from the stage and seeing the person in question with a $5 beer in their hand, a $5 ticket stub in their back pocket, dancing their heart out and looking like a fool.
     

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