A Very Tough Time

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Ryan L., Nov 16, 2002.

  1. Ryan L.

    Ryan L. Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 7, 2000
    West Fargo, ND
    On Wednesday morning at exactly 2 AM, my father passed away.

    I haven't said anything to anyone here before, but for the past year and a half, he had been fighting cancer, and a few months ago, we were told there was nothing more that could be done, and we had until probably Thanksgiving time. The doctor was close, I guess.

    My 2 brothers, my sister, my mom, and myself were all with him when he died (he was at home). For the last 14 hours of his life, he was not conscious, but at least he was not in pain. He went very peacefully, no struggling at all. Just one last breath at 2, and then silence.

    We had the family/prayer service tonight, the funeral is tomorrow at 10:30 am. It has been hard, but I have the comfort of knowing that he is no longer suffering any longer.

    I took a few days off of work and have been trying to keep busy to keep my mind off of it, although that is about impossible. Browsing through threads on here has been helping, and I have spent quite a bit of time here, and playing bass quietly by myself.

    Just thought I would share this.
  2. SuperDuck


    Sep 26, 2000
    My deepest condolences to you and your family. :(
  3. notduane


    Nov 24, 2000
    :( I'm sorry Ryan.

    I lost my Dad just last month.
  4. you did? aww Nots! i hope everyone is dealing with it ok.... mmkay..

  5. notduane


    Nov 24, 2000
  6. Ahh you should build something in memory of him... something cool.. aka like in my "Hey check this out" thread in amps... :p


  7. Plucky


    Jun 18, 2002
    sorry for your lost, i hope you feel better in the next few days
  8. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    My condolences to both of you. :(
  9. superfreak

    superfreak Unregistered

    Aug 18, 2002
    Clarksville, TN
    I am so sorry to hear about your father. I lost my mother several years ago to cancer. Thank God you had a chance to say good-bye, I wasn't so lucky. Always remember the good times you all shared, and it does get easier over the years.

    My condonlences to you and your family, and your family here @ TB are here for you whenever needed.

    may he R.I.P.
  10. Bryan R. Tyler

    Bryan R. Tyler TalkBass: Usurping My Practice Time Since 2002 Staff Member Administrator Gold Supporting Member

    May 3, 2002
    I can't imagine not having my dad around to give a call to. My condolences.
  11. Ryan L.

    Ryan L. Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 7, 2000
    West Fargo, ND
    Thank you for the replies. They mean a lot to me.:)
  12. seamus


    Feb 8, 2001
    Sorry to hear that, my condolences.
  13. Gard

    Gard Commercial User

    Mar 31, 2000
    Greensboro, NC, USA
    General Manager, Roscoe Guitars
    Ryan, ND -

    I'm saddened by your losses, and know that nothing I say will make it "better". I hope that you will both keep the good of them alive in some way in your own lives - as that is the gift of immortality that you can bestow on them.

    Like you diff, if I couldn't call my dad I'd be rudderless in the sea of life. I can't even begin to comprehend the loss.

    Ryan, my best friend's mother - who was like my "other mom" - passed away in almost exactly the same fashion. She was the only real family he had, and it's been very hard on him. Be grateful for your family, and enjoy their company and support in this tough time.
  14. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB

    Jan 28, 2001
    New York
    Im sorry for your loss, Ryan.
  15. odie

    odie Supporting Member

    Man Im sorry to read about that. My family has been dealing with my Dad's health problems for about two years now. The stress you have before they pass away and then the loss when they die has got to be rough.

    Your right the best thing you can do is keep busy.

    Not sure if this is helpful but a lot of musicians have done their best writing when they were in a tough spot in life.

    Hey you live in the Dakota's?? Well maybe we should try to setup a Midwest summit.

    Dude if your ever passing through let me know!!
  16. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    If I knew what to say to make it better I would say it now. I wish I did, but sadly I don't :(

    In time the pain will pass, but may his memory live forever in your hearts and minds.

  17. Turock

    Turock Supporting Member

    Apr 30, 2000
    My condolences.
  18. Ryan L.

    Ryan L. Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 7, 2000
    West Fargo, ND
    Where in MN do you live?? I am in the Minneapolis area every day with work. And it only takes me 3 1/2 hrs to get there from my place, if something were to get set up on a weekend.

    And to everyone who has replied--Thank you very much. We got through the funeral/burial today, so now it is a matter of getting used to the fact that he will no longer be there any longer, except in memories.
  19. my deepest condelences Ryan and Notduane.