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AAAAARRGH

Discussion in 'Off Topic [DB]' started by Don Higdon, Jan 18, 2001.


  1. The NJ Jazz Society had this item, from Bill Crow's column in the Local 802 newsletter:
    (Paraphrased) The future father of the bride was negotiating hiring a 6 piece group for his daughter's wedding reception. On hearing the price, he said "Hell, I can get a DJ for that."
     
  2. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    Once, a couple of years ago, my "society band" was going to a wedding reception gig WAAAY out in Bumf**ked Egypt...when we got there to set up, we discovered that the agency which booked us had booked both us AND a DJ for the same night. They wanted the DJ because he was cheaper, but we raised hell and got paid anyway.

    The only real silver linings to the DJ situation are: a)people get tired of hearing DJ's pretty quickly, and side by side, a real band usually crushes a DJ...most people are figuring that out. b) if somebody really DOES want a DJ, it's often because they want to hear sh** like, "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!!!" all night long, in which case we, as musicians, should be grateful that we don't have to deal with such people personally. If one more drunken barbiesque blonde bimbo asks me "Do y'all play that DOGS song?", I'm gonna lose it completely and start barking myself.....
     
  3. DON SAMA: seems to be a global problem, here we have to compete with DJ´s and also with those guys who play their keyboards, sometimes hire a drummer and a singer, and then call the band a "trio".

    So, what CRISPY CEREALS told, sounds familiar. I once thought about hiring a DJ in the band, just to give people first what they ask for, and then have them beg us to play...

    R2D2
     
  4. I actually did a reception that was split with a DJ. What a contrast. Guitar, bass and drums, jazz/bossa mix, vs. 8,000 watts of DJ. When we played, people turned to listen; they applauded. When the DJ took over, kids and drunks danced, while the rest cowered or conversed by shouting very meaningfully at the top of their lungs.
    BUT, to let us know how cool he was, the DJ said to us: "I used to play bass. You guys are good." Like I need his validation to get through life.
     
  5. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    To follow that one up, here we've got guys who play with "tracks" on their synth setups...OK, no big deal, it sounds terrible, but lots of people do that, right? Recently, I walked into a place for brunch, and there was this person (who shall remain nameless) "playing" the brunch on his sax with a bunch of Jamey Aebersold playalongs! In case you're wondering, yes, each song DID start out with Jamey's VERY distinctive count off: one....two....one, two, three, four...can you believe it? I don't want to imply that the guy was SUCKING or anything like that, but I asked to be seated in another room for, uh,...personal reasons, yeah, that's it....

    ALTER EGO - if you are going to compete with DEAD PUKESPRAY in the name-calling department, you'd better hone your skills...he's a wicked old master of a sort that even a grizzled veteran like myself wouldn't even dream of messing with on his own turf - I'm guessing that with a last name like "FUQUA", he's probably heard the worst of all possible permutations in early childhood. However, should you attempt a showdown, I'll be sitting here with my sunglasses on (so as not to be blinded by the burning flesh), watching closely and making ready to email you my favorite brands of burn medications at a moment's notice. :cool:

    Don - were you or were you not tempted to reply something in the nature of, "I used to have so few REAL skills that I made a living punching buttons and bullsh**ting into a microphone. You're really good at it."

    Just wondering...
     
  6. People like that are not worth a comeback. I have developed a blank look that leaves people unable to figure out what I'm thinking; coupled with no spoken response, or at most something totally perfunctory, they're left unsure, which is better. (I said perfunctory just to confuse any BG people who might look in.)
     
  7. rablack

    rablack

    Mar 9, 2000
    Houston, Texas
    Did a Greek wedding once where we split time with a DJ. It actually worked out well. We did the jazzy mellow tunes and later the Soul and Rock n Roll stuff (this was long ago in my electric daze). He played some Pop and country while we were on break. The DJ was particularly useful when the Groom and his clan started doing the Greek dance ritual(broken crockery and all) as none of us had very good chops on the bouzouki. We could burn on the Hava Nagila, T'zena T'zena, et al Jewish wedding canon but that's another story.

     
  8. Some of the members of one of the bands I play with just came back from a cruse ship trip. The band? on the ship was just a few people who played along with midi-tracks compleat with headphones to hear the "click" track. If we are to be unpaid artist lets make art and not be a live jukebox. The other rehearsal band I just played with the first time monday, is doing just that it cooks has great charts, good soloist, a singer with her own charts and an arranger or two in the band or bringing charts to hear them played. I actualy thanked GOD for giving me a chance to do this. Music is important to me so let someone else be Henry Ford and I will be the last buggy whip maker.
     
  9. rablack - We go to Taverna Night each year at a nearby Greek church. I asked a guy in the band how he can play in 5 and in 7 all night. With a straight face, he said to me "I have trouble with 4/4."
     
  10. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    Perfunctory? Is 'at one 'a them big places where they makes 'at stuff t'make the girls smell purty? Damn, can you BELIEVE Jason done upn left Metallica?? He's a ijjit, if ya ask me. Thank gawd we still got Flea. FLEA ROCKS!


    Don - you're right, of course. It is in reality better to be above that kind of thing. Sometimes it's just nice to think about what it would have felt good to say. But, discretion..yaddayadda...valor and all that. Thanks for the info on the strings, BTW. It helped.

    bassdude - that sounds like a fun band. Enjoy!
     
  11. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member

    This is right - I go to the Greek Islands a couple of times a year and sometimes you come across groups of traditional dancers, who explain what each dance means and the steps. I noticed that every dance step went with a different time signature and there were quite a few of these - but none in 4/4! Plus of course a lot of the songs have the compulsory speeding up and slowing down. Some of the musicians you see are awe-inspiring, and play amazing stuff. The sad thing is that there aren't many of them left and a lot of the dance groups have to perform to tapes. Which is where we came in!

     
  12. All the so called "bands" ( playing with multitrackers and so on... ) sometimes make me think that we DBassists are dying out. It´s not because nobody would not hire us any more, it´s merely because the audience in getting more stupid and less demanding all the time. If a DJ replaces a live band and audience is happy with that, let them be so.
    That kind of bunch doesn´t deserve anything else.

    - If you ever think that you are unreplaceable, just take a glass of water and put your index finger in it. It it leaves a hole in the water when you take it out, then you are unreplaceable..-

    R2D2

    PS: FITZ: I´m no tryin´to compete with DEFUNGUS, nor with you or anyone else in this renaming contest. It´s no use for me with cats having a native language as limited as English.... ;-) I just come up with whatever comes to my mind...( no, actually I spend half of my time awake making up anagrams and stuff outta your names....).
    If you guys spoke Finnish, that would change the sit.
    We have a common language, though. It´s music and that makes all the difference between this and chit-chatting in Volkswagen Consumer Forum.

    PS. TO EVERYONE: Luiz Bonfa has joined the Eternal Jam Session. Please play Manhã da Carnaval or Samba de Orfeo in your next gig in memory of Him.

     
  13. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    arto - you got the "language as limited as English " part right. My first wife was Dutch and spoke about four languages fluently. She used to help me out when I was still in school by speaking only German around the house when I was feebly attempting to pass my German exams. My reaction to this was a mixture of pure awe and the typical, "Dang! How do you furriners remember all them funny wurds? An why caintya jus speak GOD'S language....you know, AMERICAN???"

    The truth is, your English is so good and I'm so DUMB that I thought you were an American expatriate with an inexplicable screen name and dubious typing skills living in Finland. Now, the truth begins to seep through my morning FOG that "arto ahlo" is probably your actual name, and that you learned to use terms like "cats" to refer to musicians from folks like DEFUNGUS and the like.

    Okay now, boys and girls, let's all help CRUSTY FORGETTOTHINK out now....oooone,.....twoooo,....threeeee,... DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :rolleyes: (quick retreat to the kitchen with tail most decidedly between legs to fetch 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cups of coffee)

    Feel free to bastardize my name (and Ed's too, for that matter) in Finnish any time. That would be cool. And thanks for the tip about the eternal jam session....I'll be sure to call some Bonfa on the gig tonight.
     
  14. F.SCOTTIE: My actual name is Alho, not "Ahlo". That´s all about dubious typing skills ;-p

    But I´m a Finn allright, that part you really got right...
    and a very talented one. I´m a multiwinner of Oripää County Fair Jerk Circles Contest and have played bluegrass.
    And I learned to use the terms like "cats" meaning not only feline animals when I was in the States. Also reading some jazz literature in English might have something to do with it...even before I knew who BED FUNKBAT was.
    Also some of you goddam Yankees have visited here upnorth, ya know. So, if ya ever come to Finland, drop me an email before, so me and some cats can have fun bastardazing your (name?) in Finnish.


     
  15. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    ARCHANGEL - I'd be happy to do that. Do you have an email address that's accessible? If you don't want to make it public, you could sent it to mine...As far as "dubious typing skills" are concerned, I suppose I deserved that...however, you should know that what you were really mocking was my dubious MEMORY, which is infamous among those who know me. By the way, it may be some time before I get up that way, so feel free to make fun of my name in Finnish on the board, so's I kin sit here and ponder what the f*** you were really trying to say.

    If ignorance is bliss, then I'm a happy man...:cool:
     
  16. Chris: Don't even think about trying to learn Finnish, or Hungarian
     
  17. pkr2

    pkr2

    Apr 28, 2000
    coastal N.C.
    Chris, I remembered a story as you were talking about your memory(or lack of).

    A 98 year old man was told by his doctor after an exam, that there were two problems. The old man said "well, give me the worst first. The doctor said, "you have cancer!" The old man thought about it for a minute or so and said "what's the other problem"?

    The doctor said ,"you also have alzheimers disease." The old man thought about that for a minute or two and replied,"well at least I don't have cancer".

    Pkr2
     
  18. CRISPY CEREALS: my email address is accessible in my profile.
    The fotos of my basses are not there yet, even though I promised to put´em threre. Have to learn first how to do that.
    Ed has developed a strange habit of posting pix in DB forum in which he is posing with Finns. Maybe if you come to Finland, I can do it vice versa.

    DON SAMA: what´s wrong with Hungarian? I tried to learn Polish...

    R2D2
     
  19. C'mon, Aloe; you know that Hungarian is developed from the same root language as was Finnish, uniquely different in structure from all other European languages
     
  20. rablack

    rablack

    Mar 9, 2000
    Houston, Texas
    I've heard that unless you learn them in childhood, Finnish, Hungarian and Basque (which is distantly related I think) are almost impossible to master, particularly for us Americans.

    Old quip: A person who speaks 3 languages is called tri-lingual. A person who speaks 2 languages is called bi-lingual. A person who speaks 1 language is an American.