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Absurd bass concepts

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by pklima, Nov 28, 2006.

  1. pklima

    pklima Commercial User

    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    Karoryfer Samples
    What absurd, useless bass ideas dwell in the back of your mind?

    If I had money to burn I'd get a doubleneck bass with two two-string necks, both of them fretless and trem-equipped. Each neck would have three pickups with a separate volume knob for each. Pointy body, of course. And outriggers to keep the necks from flapping in the breeze.

    I know I'd only use one neck, one pickup and would never use the trem. Having no frets ensures the trem is even more unnecessary. And yet... I want this bass!

    So... how would YOU out-Spinal-Tap Spinal Tap?
  2. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    A bass that has a single pick up for EACH string. They should all be mounted on a slide so they can be moved forward or back, or up and down depending on your taste, and all will have individual tone controls with one master volume. The bass will be a nice solid wood and the neck will be a curly maple with a titanium truss rod + graphite stabilizers so it will take and act of God to make it warp.
    The bridge will be solid brass and have easy to adjust height, tuning and intonation controls.
    Oh, and it will cost less than $400... :p

    Who's gonna make it for me? Any volunteers?
  3. Lazylion

    Lazylion Goin ahead on wit my bad self!

    Jan 25, 2006
    Frederick MD USA
    Didn't Phil Lesh have one like that?
  4. A bass with a built in flame thrower for cool pyrotechnic effects, which can also be used to beat back the drunks at bar gigs.
  5. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ

    or one that can tase unruly fans?
  6. How about a tripple neck a four fretted, four frettless and a fiver for good measure.
  7. TheDarkReaver

    TheDarkReaver Banned

    Mar 20, 2006
    Lincolnshire, UK
    i think the guys in rammstein have one of those.
  8. Yeah, the guys in Rammstein have a lot of things, including interesting clothing accessories we don't need to get into here.
  9. 69nites


    Jul 11, 2006
    My back hurts....
  10. buliwyfff


    Oct 13, 2006
    I was bored a few days ago so i drew up this sorta shield type of thing

    Attached Files:

  11. I tryed, but couldnt come up with anything more upsurd than the bass that pklima has...
  12. the_fonz


    Nov 27, 2006
    Kane, PA
    18 string bass
    take THAT, jean baudin
  13. CoDBassPlayer


    Oct 30, 2006
    I've seen a guy PLAY a 26-string STANDING. How he managed that is beyond me, I think my 6 is heavy. Plus having to tap on EVERYTHING and so hard because he had a single-pickup would be terribly hard.
  14. cdef


    Jul 18, 2003
  15. scottbass

    scottbass Bass lines like a big, funky giant

    Jul 13, 2004
    Southern MN
    Oh, man! So much unnecessary hardware, so little time!

    I personally live by the tried-and-true engineering rule:

    "Just because something CAN be done doesn't mean it SHOULD be done."
  16. A Wish bass.:p

    I would have a cup holder on my bass.
  17. Whipper snipper strings. Say a 20m roll of string that fits into the back of a bass like photo film does a camera and feeds the string...then when the string deadens you just unclip the tuner (similar to a hipshOt), pull up a bit of new string, then as you clamp the tuner back on it it automatically cuts the dead piece off, you tune up and you've got new strings again :)

    They could even colour the last 2m to let you know you're running out and sell sample packs with 4 types of string on the one roll :)
  18. duo8675309


    Jun 5, 2005
    Thats a really cool idea. For some that would last a lifetime, for others a week.
  19. I would like a piccolo 6 string bass tuned one octave up, with much thinner gauge strings and in an alternate tuning, starting on E. I would have to get used to it though, as I'm sure it's a much harder instrument to play.

    uh oh...

  20. mambo4


    Jun 9, 2006
    I always wanted a bass with an old school coin op video game "fire" button on the strapo horn that triggers a variety of noises ( Defender Hyperspace noise , explosion, Han Solo's blaster, etc) when struck with the thumb.

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