"After being married for over 37 years,...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by nutdog, Nov 13, 2012.

  1. nutdog

    nutdog when I'm a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2009
    In the dog house.

    In a thread last week about working with women I made the seemingly innocuous (to me, anyway) statement:

    I was surprised by the reaction. Even after I went on to clarify


    several people vehemently disagreed and some were outright insulted.

    So I ask, should a person of integrity intent on remaining faithful take reasonable precautions to avoid a possible affair, or is a person like the General just the type that, as one poster said, "wants to cheat (so) they will"?
  2. when a person doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, it takes the biggest balls to tell the other person "I don't love you anymore" and walk away, and takes almost no effort at all to simply cheat on them. Since almost all people take the path of least resistance...
  3. I missed the earlier thread. Here's my opinion: if a person of integrity is intent on remaining faithful, they do not need to take reasonable precautions to avoid an affair. Their integrity and intention are enough. Affairs don't just happen by accident, they involve conscious decisions.
  4. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    I just wanna know why the women are always so ugly!
  5. I can't imagine effing around on my wife, but I can imagine being wrong about my ability to resist any and all temptation(s). Only speaking for myself, mind you. Not sure what exactly defines a * man of integrity* these days...
  6. AaronMB


    Aug 17, 2012
    Central Oregon
  7. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Supporting Member

    Jan 13, 2008
    Tampa, FL.
    I disagree. Anyone can fall, even if they have the best intentions. You know, that road to hell thing...
  8. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Supporting Member

    Jan 13, 2008
    Tampa, FL.
    Lots of men cheat because they're not being emotionally satisfied, too. Sexual attraction isn't always the main or only cause.
  9. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    +1 and some women cheat for the same reason
  10. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Yes I saw your previous thread. I didn't agree with some of the other posters either. I have been with my wife for 31 years and I am still cautious. No, I don't want to automatically do the hokey pokey with every woman I meet but sometimes I catch myself mentally going places I'd rather not. When I catch myself doing that I stop, sometimes it's easier than others.
  11. hover


    Oct 4, 2008
    Naw, I would say genetics...
  12. Marial

    Marial weapons-grade plum

    Apr 8, 2011
    Well, marriage, like a lot of things, is something you make work by committing to it each and every day. If making it work is a conscious decision so is screwing it up. I don't personally buy the line that a man 'just couldn't help himself'. Ever. If I did I would be admitting that I have no self-control, and self-control to me is one of the hallmarks of being an adult, male or female.

    There are all sorts of reasons people don't stay faithful, some legitimate and some that have to do with nothing more than the unfaithful person being a selfish prick who should never have gotten married in the first place. But I just don't agree with the idea that a man, or woman, just can't help themselves because of their surroundings.
  13. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    The heart is treacherous, who can know it?

    I know I love my wife with all of my heart, and have zero intentions of ever violating our marriage vows. That being said, I will never put myself in a position where I could give in to temptation. In my opinion, it would be foolish for any man or woman to say they will never cheat on their spouse under any circumstances.

  14. Been married 26 years. Not sure how that happened as it seems only yesterday we were dating. I know that like most folks, I have the capacity to make stupid decisions. Usually led up to by a long line of self-deluding justifications. As soon as you think you CAN'T ... you WILL.

    I have to agree with the OP. No opportunities for stupidity = No stupidity.
  15. I'm with bassteban on this one. I've done many things in my life that I thought I'd never do (cheating on my wife wasn't one of them), and there are countless folks who, because of overconfidence and bravado, found themselves in a compromising position with another and ruined their family in the meantime.

    Yes, it is a conscience decision to cheat. There's no such thing as having sex with someone by accident...you have to build some sort of relationship with someone over time, find yourself alone with that person, disrobe, become aroused, assume some erotic position, and hit the start button. Part of my showing respect for my wife is not getting on that rollercoaster in the first place.
  16. Wise words, Mike :D
  17. bloobass


    Jul 10, 2012
    Louisville, KY
    So many factors leading into this....I know for me personally, the best defense is a good offense...I try with all my might to stay away from any situation that would make it easy for me to give in to some kind of carnal desire. I have a strong libido, and I like to be complimented. A female starts telling me how lucky my wife is or telling me how attractive she thinks I am, or sharing too much info...I get the hell away!
    I like to think I know (most) my weaknesses and faults, and know better than to ever test them.

    edit* yes, I realize I got the saying backwards...you get my point....

  18. ^ i like this guy and agree
  19. Marial

    Marial weapons-grade plum

    Apr 8, 2011
    I guess no one here could work as a modeling photographer or in a bar or in a corporate setting where highly intelligent, attractive, women work? I mean, just what kinds of situations are we talking about here? What does the roller coaster look like?
  20. Strat-Mangler

    Strat-Mangler Banned

    Aug 15, 2010
    There can be many reasons why people cheat. They can be opportunistic, be unhappy in their relationship, be bored, etc.

    I don't think life is capable of being free of all those things 100% of the time, so I suspect that given the right set of circumstances, anybody can cheat.

    Regardless, I'm still puzzled as to why that guy resigned. Wanting an extra piece of tail does not automatically mean he's not great at his job (though I don't really know if he was or not).