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Age difference....does it matter?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by jrthebassguy, Jun 14, 2001.

  1. Nope, as long as you sound good musically, it doesn't matter

    19 vote(s)
  2. Thats a horrible idea, stray away from this.

    7 vote(s)
  1. Well, me and two guitarist friends of mine are auditioning for a this one band. We've talked to both of the guys and they are real cool about us trying out and everything. They even said we're the only ones auditioning and we got a real good chance at it, and that they like our attitudes alot.

    One catch. The drummer is 28 and the singer is 26, my two guitarist friends are 16 and 15, and I'm 14.

    Is there really a big difference other than age? I mean these guys seem real cool about everything, but some people I've told don't go for the idea.
  2. anon5458975


    Apr 5, 2001
    One thing that immediately comes to mind is what type of band are you auditioning for? Is it just going to be a local thing, just for fun? Or are the older people in the band thinking more along the lines of wanting to do some touring down the line?

    If you and your two friends are still in school that could pose a problem. Even playing at certain bars or 21+ clubs could be tough to get away with.

    Other than things like that I don't see the age difference being too much of a problem, if you all get along and you click musically it seems cool to me.

    But if by chance it doesn't work out don't beat yourself up over it, I'm sure you'll come across plenty of opportunities to play in bands as time goes on.
  3. Well, as far as I know, it's only going to be a local thing, playing at the several places here in the Houston area. If this gets serious enough maybe next summer there might be a little touring, but I'm not even going to think that far ahead right now.

    According to the vocalist, he said as long as we have a parent/guardian with us we can play at 21+ over places and they said at 18+ places might not require even that. Oh well, I can deal with my parents around me if i have to.
  4. Ryan L.

    Ryan L. Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 7, 2000
    West Fargo, ND
    The whole bar scene will be really tough for 3 teenagers to get into. Around here, if you are under 21, you can play in a bar, BUT, your parents or a legal guardian must be present at all times.

    Also, there is the issue of school. If these guys do want to do some touring, it's gonna pose a problem, like Darrell said.

    It all depends on what the guys you are auditioning for are set out to do. It might work out great. I was in a band when I was 16-17 with two 23 year olds, a 21 year old, and a 20 year old. It worked out great for me, but that was before the rules about minors playing in bars were really being enforced. Whenever I was asked for my ID, I just told them that I was in the band, and I got no problems. We got along great musically, played just about every weekend for two years straight, and made quite a bit of money and had a lot of fun. So it can work out, you just gotta see for yourselves, I guess.
  5. anon5458975


    Apr 5, 2001

    Well if that's the case I say go for it bro, could turn out to be a lot of fun for ya.
    Good luck!
  6. SuperDuck


    Sep 26, 2000
    I was in a similar situation but it all worked out well. I was 18 at the time (oh wait... I still am...) and the rest of the members were at least 40. It was actually a lot of fun, and for some reason they put up with me enough to keep me around for awhile. (Although I suspect they were humoring me because they knew I was going away to school in the fall.) Anywho, we played bars and whatnot and the guitarist just said I was his son. It was barely ever an issue anyway, as long as I didn't drink. I learned a lot from them, and playing experienced musicians whipped my ass into shape real quick. So it can be done.
  7. brianrost

    brianrost Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 26, 2000
    Boston, Taxachusetts
    There is a big difference in the perspective of a 14 year old and a 28 year old. Well, maybe not if they are musicians :rolleyes:

    A lot depends on how the older guys deal wiht it. If they adopt a "big brother" attitude then it should be smooth sailing. If once you hit the gigs they are drinking, doping and pulling women, well there could be some issues :)

    There are also social aspects to a band and you might find the band splits into two camps, the youngs guys vs. the old guys.

    All that said, if they are decent players this could be a very good opportunity for you younger guys to get some great on the job training.
  8. DaveB


    Mar 29, 2000
    Toronto Ontario
    Musically, there may or may not be a difference. But for everything else there is a world of difference.And it's the everything else part that usually makes or breaks a band.
    Either you guys are killer teenage players or the older guys can't find anybody else to play with them. I would certainly wonder about that. Personally, my advice would be find players a little closer to your age.
  9. Boplicity

    Boplicity Supporting Member

    There are two sides to this issue. As a person who has been in such a band with a much larger age split than you are facing, I can speak to both sides of the situation.

    I was old enough to be the mother of everyone in the band I played in. My bandmates were in college and high school.

    The PLUS: I left them do their thing and did not judge. I was there to play music I loved, not to mother anyone. I let them be themselves. Sometimes it was tedious for me, because "hanging out" with another generation can be taxing. They have so much more energy. Their interests are quite different. It did help that my own sons were the same age as these guys, so I was "up to date" so to speak. But in the end they didn't want me any more. I believe much of it had to do with my image. Understandable.

    The MINUS: There is a dramatic difference between your age and the guys in your band in terms of life experience, interests, independence, and priorities.
    As I was even further separated in age than you guys, I had a different perspective. You guys are far enough, yet close enough, that you might clash.

    The others here have laid out problems that could impact ultimately your relationship with those older guys...school, inability to tour, parental and family expectations and responsibilities, age limitations in bars, late night gigs, chaperoning duties, transportation to rehearsals and gigs, etc.

    I'd get a clear understanding of what these older guys expect of you and want for their band. If they are just jamming or working out a repertoire or planning to play local gigs, you may be all right.

    If they want to do serious touring, regular gigs, especially bar gigs which often go late at night, even school nights, if your parents have to chaperone or drive you, which may impact their jobs and obligations, and if these guys expect practice sessions three afternoons or nights a week...all of which can have a huge impact on your school life and your family life...you'd better know going in to avoid hard feelings when demnds are made you can't meet.

    Frankly, I'll say this...if I were your parents, I would object to this arrangement and its inherent risks. I wouldn't want my very young teenager exposed to the bar scene or the touring scene. I'd also have deep concerns that a major committment to a band with much older members who are unknown to me would have implications on your school performance.

    Lastly, if I were these guys, I'd think twice about my own objectives for the band, the style of music played and what having such young musicians does to the band's image. I mean, do you want to look like Hansen or semi-Hansen? If you are in the garage jamming, it doesn't matter. If you want a hard edged punk, metal or rap image to present to like-minded fans, it does.
  10. I say age doesn't matter. You might wanna find out why they are taking you guys, just in case they suck and can't find anyone else. But, being in a band with older people can be good. I'm 15, my drummer is 19, and the guitarist/singer is 23. So whenever they have parties we play at, I get to hang out with college age girls. No complaints here. :) I say go for it.
  11. brewer9


    Jul 5, 2000
    Age difference can matter but in a positive way too. For example, if the bassist and drummer are both in their mid 30s they could get a singer and guitar player in their mid 20s to even things out and stay fresh, while giving the younger two some experience and direction.
  12. These guys are against that kinda stuff, so i think i can rest assured this is a good chance for me. They won't be going after women, cause they have wives and they both have one kid. And they said they wouldn't drink or nothin like that.
  13. Blackbird

    Blackbird Moderator Supporting Member

    Mar 18, 2000
    Uh, interesting marriages The miracle of modern science.:eek::D;)
  14. Well, I'm 54(!) and still playing with guys of all ages in different bands, but there are some problems that occur. I have no worries about playing with young guys, but sometimes the reverse is true. Of course, I dont get invited to play in metal, punk or hard rock bands, and if I did I would refuse anyway, as it's not my kind of music, but the image would be a hurdle. I do however, play latin, irish, blues, country, classic rock, jazz, and these are genres that seem to have no perceptions as far as age goes. I say give it a try, and set youself a time, say 3 months, when you can re-evaluate the situation, and see if it's working etc.
  15. B-Note Cowboy

    B-Note Cowboy Guest

    Jun 13, 2001
    Tulsa, OK
    In my band... I am 31. Our keyboard man and drummer are mid-fifties. Lead guitar is late 40's and rhythm guitar is 18.

    It is a great diverse mix that works for us and allows us a lot of perspective on musical influences. The older guys grew up on Jerry Lee Lewis, Beatles and REAL country music. I grew up on Black Sabbath, KISS and Aeorsmith while the young guy is obviously influenced by today's top bands. The result is a pretty good chemestry.

    A lot of it depends on what kind of gigs you want to play, like everyone said.

    For us, it isn't much of an issue as most of our gigs are fund-raisers and private parties. No clubs. That scene could really be a divisive issue for you guys. Bottom line... use common sense. Try it and see if it is working, but if it isn't... move on.
  16. what kind of crap is that ?

    anyway.. i think that age difference doesn't matter THAT much...i'm 22.. our drummer is 30, guitarist 28 and singer 29.. works perfect.
  17. Beefbass

    Beefbass Guest

    Feb 4, 2001
    I have a real good story about the age thing....
    Two years ago, I was playing in this band that had an upcoming gig in Boston. Don't worry they told me, we'll call with the directions at least a week before the gig.
    Well, the night before, I still hadn't heard from them, so I called the drummer(his wife was the singer and keyboard player) "Oh, we were just about to call you" he says. We replaced you a week and a half ago, because we needed someone a little younger.
    This guy and his wife were 26. The guitar player was the same age as me; 30!
    In other words, it was all just a bunch of bulls***t!
    This gig could be good, the only thing I'm gonna warn you about is; make sure whoever accompanies you to these gigs really looks out for you. Unfortunately, some people become total a**holes after getting a few drinks into them. Believe me, having a nasty drunk in your face is no fun.
    Otherwise, sounds great. Good luck to you, hope it works out!!
  18. foolfighter24

    foolfighter24 Guest

    Apr 22, 2000
    To the music, age is no difference. But to the rest, practicing(esp. how often), playing(esp. where), and where the band is meant to go. I think the examples others have given don't really apply here, because few involve teenagers and someone twice the teenagers age.

    Being 15, I probably wouldn't do it.
  19. Geeze I hate 9 paragraph threads.
  20. Well, I talked to both of the guys, and they made a decision not to let me audition cause of my age. This is what confuses me...they are going to let my guitarist friends audition, and they are 15 and 16, yet they are saying I'm too young, because I'm 14. I mean, you'd think they would let me try out since I'm with them and they are relatively the same age as me. But I guess not. Oh well, screw it.

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