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Age uneasiness

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by rosanne, Jul 21, 2008.

  1. rosanne


    Sep 30, 2004
    SF Bay Area
    I'm getting a bit bored with the band I'm currently in and would like to join another band on the side. (NOT quitting my present band.)

    Answered an ad on CR (a guy who's starting a new project) and sent two songs I wrote and play on. Got an answer right back and he wants me in - BUT he is 35 and others in the band may be much younger, while I am OLD (66). I told him I was quite old - waaay out of his age range - and he said he was fine with it. This will be mostly a studio project.

    I listened to his songs with another band (The Cables) and like them well enough to enjoy playing his music - at least it's different from what I'm now doing. Seems the age issue is MY issue, not his, but still.........

    Any advice??? Is this just the usual anxiety or something else? http://www.talkbass.com/forum/images/smilies/colors/confused.gif
  2. fourstringdrums

    fourstringdrums Decidedly Indecisive Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2002
    If he and the other members don't care about your age, then it really is just your issue and you need to let it go.

    Music doesn't discriminate against age. I'm 27 and my band members are between 47-52 I believe (I never asked *lol*) and they're fine with it.

    If you like the music and they don't care about your age, you shouldn't either. Just go for it. I could only see it being a problem if you being older made you not connect or enjoy the music they're making as much, mainly if it's a "younger" music. Either that or if say you wanted to rehearse or gig more and had the time for it because your family is all grown up but the younger members were still busy with their families and couldn't devote as much time. Those are the only times I can see age ever being an issue.
  3. dj150888


    Feb 25, 2008
    Belfast, Ireland
    I'd be more worried about whether these guys have similar interests, you can enjoy the time you spend with them and whether they're up to your standards (or vice versa) musically.

    I'm about to turn 20, oldest person in my band is 23, youngest is 18, but the two guys who come on the road with us (they work as our stagecrew and soundmen), are 34 and 47. The age factor makes no difference at all, we can all sit down and chat, have a pint together and have very similar interests. We just returned from a weekend in England together, when the 7 of us were together, we don't treat the older guys any differently to eachother and they don't treat us like a bunch of kids. So for us, it works.
  4. I'd check it out. It's not like competitive sports- us 40+ folks can often outplay the younguns. :) The worst that could happen is that you find it's not for you, right?
  5. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    The old guys tend to be the hot players. That's what I've learned after playing out for 20 years. They may have the energy, but I'll wager you have the skills. Go for it, and don't sweat the age thing. You can trust me, I'm old. Well, not as old as you are, but I'm still pretty damn old........
  6. steve66


    Sep 17, 2005
    South Florida
    I wouldnt worry about age. If they are cool with it, then go with it.
  7. Blueszilla

    Blueszilla Bassist ordinaire

    Apr 2, 2003
    The Duke City
    So what? If he doesn't care, you're the one making an issue. That's not to say it isn't one, because if you're uncomfortable, than it could be. But don't decline just because of an age difference. IMO it isn't a problem 'til it is, so maybe don't project it being one until it happens, which it may never. Since you dig the music I say give it a shot.

    I'm in a blues trio, the GP is 42, the drummer is 30 and I'm 51. We jam like ****, nobody cares about the age differences.
  8. Stumbo

    Stumbo Guest

    Feb 11, 2008
    Hey, that you're still rockin' at 66 (aren't the Stones in their sixties) is something that all the younger guys have to look forward to.

    Enjoy the music, be professional, play your best and have a great time.

    Sounds great to me.

    Good luck!
  9. heath_r_91


    Jun 3, 2006
    Topeka Area, Kansas
    I wouldn't worry about it. I'm 16 and my drummer is 45 (older than my parents).

    It's just a matter of how you click, like with him he's just all about the music, so it doesn't make a difference what his age is because he just does his part, cracks a few jokes, and goes home. Works well. :bassist:
  10. Busker


    Jan 22, 2007
    Try to not be self-conscious about it.

    The band I'm in now? Last year I asked for an audition but didn't get one because of my age (48 then, 49 now). They thought I was too old for them. So they've been through 2 or 3 bassists since then. I get a second chance.

    I didn't make an issue of the age rejection last year, I just tried to play well at the audition. Now they have a new drummer too and he's 51. Someone has to show these whippersnappers how its done, right?:D
  11. Gintaras


    Dec 11, 2004
    Kent Island, Md.
    I play strictly for fun and I am always the oldest at the jam sessions that I go to. I am 61 and the people I play with range from 22 to 50. I usually get compliments about the maturity of my playing. No showboating, overplaying and always having a groove going.
  12. Joel S.

    Joel S. Reserved for future witty use...

    Jul 9, 2008
    One of my band's the ages range from 23 to 48 (I'm 29.) Another goes from 21-22 all the way up to mid-upper 50s. Age is just a number, I wouldn't sweat it.
  13. jgbass

    jgbass Guest

    Dec 17, 2003
    Hi Rosanne,

    I am in my 50s, and I have come to the conclusion that I've spent too much mental energy thinking about the age issue. After awhile it seemed to be more my issue than anyone else's so I let it go. Yes, I am old enough to be someone's parent or even their grandparent, for that matter, but I am learning to just not go there with my thinking and focus on being the best musician I can be, as well as going for the opportunities that sound good. After all, I do have more musical experience just because I have been playing longer.

    Most of the time it just seems to not be a non-issue. For a while I think I was even a little hesitant to mention I was female when looking for work until experience taught me that is OK with the overwhleming majority of musicians I know. The worst thing that could happen is that you do not get the gig, but you tried. People may not get the gig for any number of reasons.
  14. Give it go... Have a good time as long as the studio project continues to challenge you. I have the rather opposite situation: I'm the oldest in the church's praise team (not much to my liking either...) but within the studio band, I'm very much among my age peers.. I can say I enjoy both groups and performance taskings to a point.. as will you given the opportunity.
  15. waynobass


    Feb 27, 2008
    Yeah, forget about the gig. You're too old. Give up. Go sit in your rocking chair on the porch and nurse your nostalgia for bygone days.

    (I hope the sarcasm is evident here. :smug: I'll be playing until I hear dirt hit the top of my coffin.)
  16. RiddimKing


    Dec 29, 2004
    I wouldn't worry about being older than they are. But I think you should refuse to have your tattoos removed as a requirement to join the band. In the end, it's not going to make a difference to their chances of being signed.
  17. Fret Boiler

    Fret Boiler Pity World

    Apr 12, 2004
    Purdue University
    They all said it already but I will too. Don't worry about an age issue until there actually is one.
  18. rosanne


    Sep 30, 2004
    SF Bay Area
    Thanks to everyone for the advice and support. Yeah, it's a non-issue until it's made into one. Some other things have been going bad lately and I was worried that this would start to go bad too. I"m going to stop worrying about everything and just concentrate on music!
  19. edpal

    edpal Inactive

    Oct 3, 2007
    Reminds me of a joke: Young bull and old bull looking down on a pasture full of heifers. The young bull says, "lets run down there and get us one of them heifers." The old bull says,"I'm gonna walk and have them ALL!"

    Point being - The age thing is mainly your issue. Sure the young babes won't be chatting it up with you at gigs(or they might, figuring you are "safe"), and your age might be seen as a cool novelty,"woah, the old timer on bass is awesome".
    Got for it!!
  20. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    I wouldn't be wary, but I would keep an eye on things.

    Bands will routinely tell you things in the beginning that turn out to not be true ultimately

    "We are all equal members with an equal voice" (until you, the new guy, makes a suggestion and you find out that, like Animal Farm, all are equal, but some are more equal than others)

    "Age doesn't matter" (until they can you because you don't fit in and they need a younger look to get ahead because one bar owner told them so)


    I mean, any band, any relationship, is a risk. Anything to do with other humans is a risk. You have to take some risks.

    but I hear ya. In the back of your mind, you will wonder. It's normal. That's a big gap. I couldn't do it. My best situations are with people who are close to my age and have similar life profiles.
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