All time worst gig!

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Paulabass, Oct 4, 2017.

  1. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    I got a call from a new 'performance venue'. Would I like to play bass at their new jam. I said sure, assuming we would play as a kickin' house band, and then bring up guests, yadda, yadda.
    I got there and the sound man was stting up drums, but didn't know how. Ok...Then I started getting that bad feeling, and yup, he really did turn on the front of house rack with all the amps running. Some temporary deafness, and possibly a few blown drivers later....
    No house drummer....the hostess got up and welcomed people and said 'Who wants to come up and play?' There are no guitar amps, but lotsa guys with guitars.Does anyone play drums? A guy puts up a hand. There are no drum sticks.
    I can't bail at this point, cause my amp is on stage.
    Some general f'ing around, and a guitar amp, and drumsticks appear.
    First guy up calls 'Feel like making love'. Cool. In G, fine. Then asks if anyone can sing it?
    That's ok, very nice p.a. for the room has no monitors.
    Long story short- we played a blues number that somehow had 12, 13, or 14 bars, at complete random, with a drummer that couldn't count to four.
    The sad part of the story is this venue will pull crap like this, and down the road announce that live music just isn't working there, and hire a d.j. Or have karaoke night. Sad, sad, sad.
  2. Stumbo

    Stumbo Guest

    Feb 11, 2008
    Tell them you'll run the jam for a cut.
    Kaitlyn, Lo-E, red_rhino and 6 others like this.
  3. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    I'm writing a polite email right now.
    red_rhino, Bunk McNulty, Deak and 2 others like this.
  4. Good luck but I fear this will be a case of never returning to keep your sanity
    mikewalker likes this.
  5. BassCliff


    May 17, 2012
    So. Cal.


    Thank you for your indulgence,

    Spidey2112, Sore Thumb and dbase like this.
  6. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    I would try to speak to the owner, and see if he will listen to reason. Sometimes they actually do.
  7. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    Email already sent. I told them how a jam works, and what a house band that knows a thousand songs actually does.
    I NEVER want to see a live venue go down, but they are off to a bad start. I hope this works.
    I also mentioned that a guy who's title is 'Event tech', and is at the helm of a multi kilowatt p.a. system outta know you don't use input gain instead of faders.
    Stumbo, LowActionHero, Deak and 3 others like this.
  8. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    Unfortunately, this just popped up on their Facebook. I guess my email fell on deaf ears.

    "Ah, more big fun at the XXXX open jam last night. Good people, lots of jamming. Featured performance XXXX was excellent!

    I got home a 9:30, because everybody left.
  9. bassbully

    bassbully Endorsed by The PHALEX CORN BASS..mmm...corn!

    Sep 7, 2006
    Blimp City USA
    Just another reason I will never do a jam night.
    kap'n kro, Charlzm and Spidey2112 like this.
  10. MrLenny1


    Jan 17, 2009
    New England
    Every venue in New England seems to be jumping in on Jam nights.
    Last count there was over 1700 and counting.
    Only a few are run well and last.
  11. least you tried
  12. joebar


    Jan 10, 2010
    Couldn't have been as bad as my gig on Saturday night at our local music venue.
    I swear my band was rehearsing behind my back on how to purposely screw up in the worst possible ways.
    During the second set, I felt something die inside me; I wished I was anywhere but on stage with these useless buffoons.
    I immediately quit after that and told them to refund the venue the money
    Stumbo, bassbully, BassCliff and 4 others like this.
  13. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    Yowza! I've had bad nights,!
  14. Liam Wald

    Liam Wald Supporting Member

    May 17, 2011
    California Coast
    Like someone else said, talk to the owner of the club. Let them know what it would take to make a successful open jam night, put it all together, and then make a good thing happen and own the stage.
    This could be a great opportunity for you.
  15. Liam Wald

    Liam Wald Supporting Member

    May 17, 2011
    California Coast
    When life hands you [email protected]@ make sandwich... or was that lemons and lemonade?
    craigie likes this.
  16. I like the part about no drumsticks. I was in that situation once and went home to grab a set of sticks before the boys could finish whittling a couple of willows into shape. It was an outside venue. I ended up playing drums as there were no drummers and they already had three bass players. Turned out ok.
  17. Ewo

    Ewo a/k/a Steve Cooper Supporting Member

    Apr 2, 2008
    Huntington WV
    Ouch. I've had some shizzy gigs over the years, but you def get the T-shirt for this one.

    Eh, well. The music biz can be like that. Crack a cold one, and be on to the next adventure!
    Spidey2112 likes this.
  18. JimmyM


    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Yamaha, Ampeg, Line 6, EMG
    I thought you were going to have a story about a bad gig. This is great!
  19. Hahaha


    Sep 26, 2003
    Olympia, WA USA
    Your post made me laugh pretty hard. I've been in the same situation three or four times where I've found myself standing on the stage wondering what ever made the bonehead idiots I'm playing with think they had any business calling themselves musicians. Sometimes I get together with other long-time professionals and we get a good laugh out of sharing stories of horrid gigs. In one case I played a gig with a drummer that wet his pants on stage because of nerves. The band sucked so that just added to the whole experience.
    Stumbo, bassbully and joebar like this.
  20. petrus61

    petrus61 Supporting Member

    I would have said:
    "I only know Feel Like Makin Love in know, like it was recorded."

    Then I would have feigned an on the spot liver failure and left, leaving the amp as a sacrifice to the "open jam" gods.
    Stumbo and bassbully like this.
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

    Jul 24, 2021

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.