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Allons, enfant de la Patrie

Discussion in 'Off Topic [DB]' started by Ed Fuqua, May 4, 2005.


  1. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    NYC
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    I love the French -their food, wine, licquers, language, kissing, etc.

    But, like bassists who eschew using amplification, they are easy to bash.

    So, here ya go--

    Cinco de Mayo is coming up soon... the holiday celebrates the defeat of the French army by a small, poorly armed mexican militia at the battle of Puebla.

    If there was a holiday for every time the French army was defeated, nobody'd get any work done.

    BTW...Arbor Day was created when an acorn fell on a French General, resulting in the first peacetime surrender in history.


    and from JBo's wine thread

    The French Government announced yesterday that it has raised it's terror alert level from "run" to "hide."

    The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate".

    This may have been precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of their three White Flag factories (on the outskirts of Paris), disabling the entire ground combat element of their armed forces for the time being.
     
  2. Tom Hutton

    Tom Hutton

    Nov 22, 2004
    Indiana

    A somewhat phyrric victory though - Napoleon, in his arrogance, sent too small a force to defeat Mexican rebels. Two years later he sent an army and occupied Mexico City. However, the French were defeated shortly thereafter by the Mexicans, backed by the US (presumably as thanks for the French funding the American revolutionary war :D)

    I didn't know about Cinco de Mayo - the wiki is pretty interesting:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinco_de_mayo

    And you're right, someone 3000 miles away is a pretty easy target... :)
     
  3. hdiddy

    hdiddy Official Forum Flunkee Supporting Member

    Mar 16, 2004
    San Francisco, CA
    Q: Why was the Champs-Elysees lined with trees?
    A: So the Germans can march in the shade.

    Ba-dump-bump.
     
  4. Damon Rondeau

    Damon Rondeau Journeyman Clam Artist Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2002
    Winnipeg, baby
    While I was raised Anglo, there are centuries and centuries of Frenchness in these genes, from both sides. Even I find Frenchitude an easy target, every day...

    Can we have equal opportunity humour? Seeing as though we're on this military topic, I've got some material here on the French role in the American revolution, and also some pretty hot stuff on America sitting out the first part of those two little world war shindigs from the last century. Just wondering if I can use it... Might be a little too hot for some to handle.
     
  5. godoze

    godoze

    Oct 21, 2002
    Go for it Demon...
     
  6. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    NYC
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    Lafayette, nous arrivons!

    So raise your prices accordingly. Go for it, D.
     
  7. Tom Hutton

    Tom Hutton

    Nov 22, 2004
    Indiana
    I say do your worst Damon! I'm Scottish, so the French are my old allies against the English...
     
  8. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    NYC
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    Sasanch ithean cac!
     
  9. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    I'm getting complaints about this thread already, but as long as the bashing is equal opportunity, I'm game. If it becomes a serious political French bashing thread, it's gone in a heartbeat.

    Since I'm a Euromutt mixture of Irish, Welsh, German, and Norwegian, I welcome bashes to those nationalities as a show of good faith.
     
  10. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    NYC
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    Really? We can can it (ooh, French reference!) if you want, I just thought the Cinco da Mayo thing was funny and, being of French descent well, there ya go...
     
  11. Damon Rondeau

    Damon Rondeau Journeyman Clam Artist Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2002
    Winnipeg, baby
    Listen, we bass players gotta stick together. All these drummers and banjo-players and guitar players and suchlike hanging around and we gotta pick on the French? Talk about low-hanging fruit...

    I am taking the high road, my friends.

    I reserve the right to keep my WMDs -- witticisms of mass destruckshun -- close to my chest.

    Ouch.
     
  12. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY

    Personally, I don't mind it at all as is, but if it gets political (i.e. - current "Freedom" politics), I refuse to moderate the "Lefties vs. Righties" song and dance. As long as it's equal opportunity humor intended to be funny and nothing else, do your worst!

    Ex:

    Q:How do you tell if the Norwegian you're talking to is an extravert?
    A: He's looking at your feet.

    Q: Why did the Norwegian cross the road?
    A: To avoid the necessity of making conversation with the chicken.
     
  13. Damon Rondeau

    Damon Rondeau Journeyman Clam Artist Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2002
    Winnipeg, baby
    I forgot to say go for it too. I ain't humourless and offended, far from it.

    It was merely time for me to don my Mr. Harumph boots.
     
  14. Tom Hutton

    Tom Hutton

    Nov 22, 2004
    Indiana
    :D

    [SIZE=-2]Although I'm a lowlander so technically I'm a sassenach too...[/SIZE]
     
  15. Yup. Here in France, we don't get enough jokes about the French, so fire away! I'm very bad at remembering jokes myself, so I'm not contributing, sorry.

    PS: Although I've been living here for 25 years, I'm actually Dutch, so I'm also interested in Dutch jokes.
     
  16. How about Italian?

    During WWII Italian tanks had 6 gears. Five were reverse and one was forward just in case the enemy ever got behind them.
     
  17. RLT

    RLT

    Jul 10, 2004
    South Central OH
    How do you tell the Italian airplanes?

    They are the ones with the hair under the wings!


    How does an Italian Admiral review the fleet?

    In a glass bottomed boat!
     
  18. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    NYC
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    The only Italian joke I know is that domani means the same thing as manana, but without the same sense of urgency.
     
  19. Very funny. Gotta remember that one.

    Specimen: An Italian astronaut.
    Bigamist: Heavy Italian fog.
     
  20. mpm

    mpm

    May 10, 2001
    Los Angeles
    Ok, then there's the one about the Croatian terrorist who tries to hijack a bus to Cuba.....