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alright your advice...

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by steve-o, Jun 19, 2003.

  1. steve-o

    steve-o Guest

    Apr 17, 2002
    i've been in some bands..kind of tired of the stuff i was playing...ust wasn't my type of music..

    i have been in one serious band before ..
    and im starting another serious band...
    like the strokes..phantom planet type stuff..
    is it a bad idea to have my girlfriend play drums...i mean as realtionship wise? the whole band...the three of us are really close friends...
    the bassist...(i know im playing guitar..sorry)
    is going out with my girlfriends sister..me and the bassist are bothers pretty much..

    what is the best way to be able to do this as a living...willing to do anything!!!so is everyone else...i know ethics..money..dedication..image...blah blah..but is there more?

    ok ok im just rambaling so ill go now...

  2. Jiles

    Jiles Banned

    Nov 28, 2001
    Sounds like one big happy family to me. Don't sweat it dood. Look at The White Stripes, though I'm not sure I know what their status is.
  3. I think it's a good idea, but I mean if like you and your girlfriend get into a fight and she gets pissed and leaves...well your SOL for a drummer. But if you two are so close you won't think that will ever happen, well then go for it! And as far as you being basically brother's with your friend cuz he's dating your girlfriend's sister, well that makes you a closer band and able to communicate better :D Goodluck man!
  4. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Yep. Bad idea. REALLY bad.
  5. Sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen.
  6. fastplant


    Sep 26, 2002
    I'd say it's only a good idea if she's the best drummer in your area. Otherwise, even if you have a better drummer that wants to join the band, you really can't fire her.
  7. Howard K

    Howard K

    Feb 14, 2002
    well it sounds like a pretty bad idea to me too. although i've never been in a band with anyone i'm sleeping with.. it gets tough enough with just mates - keep it objective and keep it as professional as you can, otherwise it'll just turn to sh1t. good luck tho!

    apart from that, if your doris "plays drums" anything like the bird from teh white stripes then you need to drop her now. NOTHING pisses me off worse than that excuse for a drummer from the white stripes.. i can play drums better than that and i cant play drums
    . she just gives female drumemrs a bad name. she's crap.

    and yes Mods i am being disrespectful, i am bad mouthing her in public, damned right. she's not a drummer she's a waste of space.
  8. steve-o

    steve-o Guest

    Apr 17, 2002
    o man...she is way better than that...
    she does drumline in school...and the set...WOW...one of the best in school...
    and its a really close relationship...(sorry not sleeping with her yet..)

  9. rickbass

    rickbass Supporting Member

    I find guitarists are too often "bothers" as well.
  10. Howard K

    Howard K

    Feb 14, 2002
    Well that sounds good for starters. A tough decision then!
    I'll say this: you WILL get pissed off with anyone you play in a band with at sometime or another. With some people it's not a problem, you just deal with it and move on, while some people it is really destructive.
    However the complication of a relationship outside the band might be an issue. It might also cause problems with other band members, friends or not.

    I put it this way, I would be very wary about joining a band where two band members were dating.

    Aah, that's sweet. Don't apologise it's none of my business! :) - and you're still in school, so I should hope not! :eek:
  11. steve-o

    steve-o Guest

    Apr 17, 2002
    well im out of school...she isn't..
    and ill say that ive ran around that block before...;)

  12. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Bad, BAD!
  13. Blueszilla

    Blueszilla Bassist ordinaire

    Apr 2, 2003
    The Duke City
    As you kids say, WORD.
  14. no man, its werd
  15. cassanova


    Sep 4, 2000
  16. If you're in it for the long haul, make sure the rest of the band either shares your commitment or, at the very least, understands and appreciates it. If your better half and your friend have aspirations of becoming an astronaut or a zoologist or whatever, then they might not be willing to give your music the kind of attention it requires to ascend in the industry. This can lead to a messy messy messy situation where relationships are concerned. I speak from experience (never lost a girlfriend because of music, but I have ruined a couple of friendships due to conflicts of interest). Be careful, man, and good luck! :)
  17. steve-o

    steve-o Guest

    Apr 17, 2002
    the band is willing to give up anything for the band...and to have this as a career..

  18. Well shoot, then what kinda advice were you looking for? Sounds like you know what to do.
  19. Schwinn


    Dec 4, 2002
    Sarasota, FL
    I think it's a bad idea to have your girlfriend in the band, and it's a bad idea for band members to have romantic relationships with one another in general.

    It may be lovey dovey for a while, but it never lasts...there will be fights and arguments, doors slammed, practices missed, other bandmates getting pissed off...

    Just like you should always keep your business and personal life separate, so should you keep your music career and love life separate. You probably won't listen to me, but...FWIW...Good luck.