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Alternate Tune Titles

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [DB]' started by Marcus Johnson, May 6, 2002.


  1. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    Sam, don't apologize for spacehogging; as usual, you nailed it. In the book learnin' world, I've found some of the concepts in the Chuck Sher/ Marc Johnson useful for rut busting. In the song retitling category, we used to call it "As Time Goes Bad"; and Cottontail became "Bunny Butt". Even better were requests from Japanese patrons, as delivered by the waithelp to the bandstand. "Ipanema" became "The Guard from Panama" (say it in your best fake Japanese accent), and we once did a stellar version of "Nineteen Girls Sang in Berkeley Square".
     
  2. Monte

    Monte

    Jan 9, 2001
    New Albany, MS
    "Tangerine" becomes "Tambourine", "Girl From Ipanema" becomes "Girl From Iwo Jima", "I Can't Give You Anything (But Love)" becomes something un-printable.......somebody stop me, we got a million of 'em.

    Monte
     
  3. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    "I'm Getting Cement All Over You", and for you country fans, "You're a Walrus in my Mind".
     
  4. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    Sorry for the split, but some interest has been shown in the "Melodic Solos" thread recently by not only several members, but also several lurkers. In the interest of both having and eating cake, the tune title thing gets its own spotlight.

    My favorite alternate title is kind of an esoteric one, and comes from way back in the day when Hal Galper used to teach at the summer camps. For those of you who don't already know this, Hal has a glass eye, and used to use it to great comic effect....one time on a plane, he caught Ed Soph napping in the seat in front of him, so he took out his glass eye, held it on Ed's shoulder, and woke him by whispering "Hey, Ed? I've got my eye on you". And we wonder why this guy is legendary?

    Anyway, not too long after this, someone starts a contest among the faculty to come up with what they suspect would be Hal's favorite standards. Among the contestants were:

    ANGEL EYE
    SOUL EYE
    BYE EYE BLACKBIRD
    CRY ME HALF A RIVER
    GROOVIN EYE,etc....


    And then at some point, Scott Henderson (I believe it was he) brought down the entire house with the following:




    THE NIGHT HAS 500 EYES



    Not bad for a guitar player, huh?
     
  5. ZuluFunk

    ZuluFunk

    Apr 14, 2001
    Pennsylvania
    12 Steps Program to Heaven
     
  6. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    Fly Me To Your Womb.
     
  7. "But Beautiful" becomes "Beautiful Butt"

    "Green Dolphin Street" becomes "Chartreuse Porpoise Blvd." (I know, a stretch).

    "Take the A Train" becomes "Take a Train," but must be uttered with a Lawrence Welk accent.

    and don't forget, "You Don't Know Where One Is," the complete lyric to which are somewhere around here.
     
  8. Monte

    Monte

    Jan 9, 2001
    New Albany, MS
    Also fun is trying to figure out what song someone is referring to when taking requests. My favorite was the guy who came up to my teacher and requested "Mr. Saturday Dance." Puzzled, Don asked if he could sing any of it, when the guy said, "you know, Mr. Saturday Dance, Heard they crowded the floor." (That's "Don't Get Around Much Anymore" for the Ellington challenged).

    As a side note, for bonus points: Does anyone know the original title to that tune?

    Monte
     
  9. "I'm Getting Semi-Mental Over You"

    "I've Found A New Baby (let's hope her husband doesn't find out...)"

    "The Way You Cook My Tripe"

    "Autumn Loaves"

    "Green Endorphin Street"

    "The Drill Has Gone"

    "Our Cat is Going to Spray"

    "Frying Home"

    "Oh Lady! - Be Good! (Please!)"

    "It's Only a Paper Bag"

    "It Might As Well Be String"

    "Gag Me With a Spoon" (Fly Me to...)

    etc. etc.
     
  10. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    Oh, okay, one more, and it's a twofer...

    I've Grown A Crust Upon My Face, OR...

    I've Grown Accustomed To Your Fist
     
  11. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY

    A friend of mine calls this one on gigs as "I Throw a Custard In Her Face". Perfect for the cake-cutting ceremony at most caucasian wedding receptions.
     
  12. "Satan Doll"

    "Pick It Up Yourself!"

    "Our Stove Arrived Today"

    "Oh! Lady, Be Good! (I Hate To Waste Money!)"

    "Flying Gnome"

    "Retired SR-71"

    "It Might As Well Have Springs"

    er, this is getting silly...

    - Wil
     
  13. Jeff Bollbach

    Jeff Bollbach Jeff Bollbach Luthier, Inc.

    Dec 12, 2001
    freeport, ny
    I had a request once at a gig-do you know "Honey, suck my nose"?
     
  14. JazznFunk

    JazznFunk Supporting Member

    Mar 26, 2000
    Asheville, NC
    Lakland Basses Artist
    ... my bandmates came up with this one after we got punchy at a late night rehearsal....

    "All The Thongs You Wear"

    I'm sure you have no idea where that one comes from, eh? <lol>
     
  15. Andrew Jones

    Andrew Jones Banned

    Feb 28, 2001
    Northampton Mass
    The Days of Wine and Cirrhosis:rolleyes:
     
  16. Come to me my Alcoholic Baby,

    I've got a Black Magic Marker,
    You've Got to Change Your Underwear,
    Perry Como's House
     
  17. Nice and Gay
    Nice 'n' Sleazy
    All The Things You're Not
    You're Not Too Beautiful, So Baby I'm Gonna Split
    The Potty's Flowing Over
    Insatiable You
    The Night of a Thousand Lies
    That 'Fro Blew
    April With Maris
    I Dismembered April
     
  18. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maui
    April Had Spareribs
     
  19. Norman Get the Car

    Thanks For the Mammaries
     
  20. Jeff Bollbach

    Jeff Bollbach Jeff Bollbach Luthier, Inc.

    Dec 12, 2001
    freeport, ny
    From the Beatles-

    Take the back right turn [paperback writer]
    The girl with colitis goes by [The girl with kalidescope eyes]