Am I a dork?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by HAWKINS, May 10, 2005.



    Nov 10, 2003
    South Carolina
    My band is laughing at me. We are a "mature" band, professionals who play music on the side. Alternative and classic rock. We had a gig a couple of weeks ago. Lead guitarist/singer gets drunk (really drunk), lays on the floor and sings....improvisational. The other guitarist and I look at each other as if to say "what now?".

    Enter drunk female who proceeds to stand over him, then begin to make sensual, um, pelvic thrusts. Song goes to helll, as does the set after that.

    The next day, I get mad and tell them I don't stay out until 3 AM loading PA speakers for this nonsense. I'm in it for the music, not the drunken antics. They tell me not to "F--K around with perfection". And so, I'm a prude.

    I feel better getting it off my chest. But I don't think I will ever LIKE playing sloppy music and just degrading to fraternity party behavior.

    Or do I owe them an apology?
  2. lamarjones

    lamarjones Supporting Member

    Aug 27, 2002
    Raleigh, NC
    Depends on what kind of band it is. If you do all originals and are looking to 'make it' then it may not becoming of what you need at your shows. If you guys are trying to make money and not much more, a good party attitude is not a bad thing. I hear you on the professional aspect, just be straight on what you are after and if everyone is after the same thing.
  3. After spending x amount of time rehearsing and all the homework you do as well as humpping the gear the last thing you expect is the singer or anyone else in the band getting so pissed they can't stand. He has broken the cardinal rule of a live stage act never be drunker than the audiance. Beside to me it's still the music not how many times can I get laid.
  4. ONYX


    Apr 14, 2000
    If this type of behavior doesn't sit well with you, you're always going to be at odds with the perpetrator. At the very least, you're going to be unhappy or apprehensive every time a gig comes up. Definitely not an ideal situation.

    If that's the case, hoist your sails and venture to greener lands.


    Nov 10, 2003
    South Carolina
    You're probably right, but I hate feeling that way because, in general, we are all friends and respect each other.

    The others said "no different from Jim Morrison". To which I say "when we are as famous as The Doors, I'll tolerate a little more".

    I guess I'll quit being pisssed eventually.
  6. xshawnxearthx


    Aug 23, 2004
    new jersey
    sounds like you need to find a new band.
  7. RLT


    Jul 10, 2004
    South Central OH
    I can't even begin to imagine what the club owners are telling each other about this.

    Hey Charlie what do you know about XXXXXXXXXXX band?

    Well last time I scheduled them the singer was so drunk he fell down on the stage and muttered into his mike.
    Then this drunk chick climbed up over him and started doing pelvic thrusts.

    OK don't think I need them the bouncers are busy enough without that.
  8. DaftCat


    Jul 26, 2004
    Medicine Hat

    Mature band of professionals? Nah, you may be but the singer sure isn't(on stage anyway).

    You don't owe them an apology at all. As other posters said it is time to find another "band of professionals". Also state UP FRONT what you will NOT tolerarte. :)

    Hope this helps,
  9. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    Sounds to me like these guys are old enough to know better. So NO you don't owe them an apology.
  10. DaveDeVille

    DaveDeVille ... you talkin' to me ?? Supporting Member

    i'd have to agree with Dave44 on this one .
    it's ok to have a couple of beers or whatever , but absolutley
    do not be drunker than the audience !!
    most bar owners will take a very dim view of this kind
    of behavior , i know from experience ...

    drunk bar customer = ok { they do pay the bills }
    drunk band member = good for nuthin' jerkoff

    it's just my , been there done that , opinion ...
  11. +1, definitely. :( :(
  12. *ToNeS*


    Jan 12, 2001
    Sydney AU
    Yeah man, you guys are being paid (although, probably not a whole lot) by the venue to render a service. That service is live music, not getting pissed and making arses of yourselves. Leave that to the people watching!

    I wouldn't take any drastic measures just yet. Open a dialogue with your idiot vocalist. If he maintains that he's an awesome guy with nothing to reassess about his professional attitude, then consider the ditch-band action.
  13. stingray69

    stingray69 Talkbass Legit Supporting Member

    Aug 11, 2004
    St Louis Area
    Age is just a number - it does not reflect a person maturity level, intelligence or ability to act "professional". Find a new band and DON'T apologize to the current one when your on you're way out the door. Just my 2 cents.
  14. Steve


    Aug 10, 2001
    If thats makes you a dork then move over, you have company.

    I would have been a dork on the warpath. A dork with a different band.

    Tell me I'm the prude? Tell me that was...perfection????... That means it's gonna happen again?????

    SEE YA!
  15. rwyarbrough


    May 24, 2004
    Hopefully this is a one time thing. An exception and not the rule incident. If it doesn’t happen again, then your probably ok. If it happens a second time, then I would consider my options, friends or not. Your reputation is on the line as well and as one poster noted, Club Owners aren’t real keen on their paid employees (which you become when you sign the contract) getting messed up at work (a waitress would be fired on the spot I'm assuming) and they will talk to other owners in the course of checking references. It might be fun run for a short time, but eventually it will wear off and you will start getting rejected more because of the reputation.

    Hard call if you are really tight with these guys outside of band time, but you have to protect your interests as well.

    Band Interview Member: So tell me, what band did you play in last.
    You: XYZ Band
    Band Interview Member: Oh, the drunken orgy band… hmmm… don’t call us, we’ll call you.
  16. cgworkman


    May 14, 2004
    Without knowing you guys, etc., I'd have to say:

    1. You do not owe them an apology.
    2. We bass players tend to be the one's interested in playing with skill.
    3. How much are you getting paid? If it's enough, then continue to take their money.
  17. BillyB_from_LZ

    BillyB_from_LZ Supporting Member

    Sep 7, 2000
    There is no way that you should have to apologize. You weren't the one in the wrong.

    Having been in a band where the two guitarists and female lead singer drank until they couldn't see straight (the drummer and I didn't drink at all) both at rehearsals and gigs, the clash of personalities didn't mesh well and the band lasted a bit over a year...

    I laughed at the reference to Morrison...I would have been hard pressed not to counter the way Dan Quale got nailed when he equated his age to that of JFK when he ran for President.

    If the rest of the band thinks the act was acceptable and wouldn't object to a repeat...I'd say you're done. If they chose not to get as upset about it as you did but don't want the singer to do it again, then you have something to work with.

    If you do ultimately chose to leave, any band should be glad to have a bassist that cares about playing well and putting on a good show while not crossing the "line".

    Good luck!!!
  18. LiquidMidnight


    Dec 25, 2000
    Yeah, and I remember Joe Walsh of The James Gang/Eagles once said something to the effect of if Jim Morrison weren't a famous singer, people would have acknowledged him for who he was: A hopeless drunk.

    If behavior were to happen like that in my band, you better believe that someone would be styling their hair poorly and saying, "You're Fired!"

    If I were in a position with no power, I would be walking........walking fast.
  19. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    It's always a downer when you find yourself putting a lot into a band (at whatever level) and then other people just treating it as a joke. I sympathise.


    Nov 10, 2003
    South Carolina
    great responses...i can almost sense that some people have endured similar differences of philosophy....

    i guess it will boil down to which i prefer: putting up with intoxication or playing the music and enjoying myself otherwise......hopefully, some open dialogue will at least tone down some of the more boorish behavior....