I just heard that my Grandma probably won't make it through the pnemonia she has had the past day or so... I'm not even on the verge of tears hearing this, in fact, I'm more or less relieved. She has had alzhiemers since i was 4 or 5, so when i became old enough to actually remember stuff, she was deteriorating. We had to put her in a home after a few years, my grandpa tried to take care of her, but couldnt by himself, and none of my dad's siblings could either... I haven't seen her since i was nine, maybe ten.. And i want to remember her in the semi-decent state she was in when i saw her... I refuse to go see her now, even when she is about to die... I dont want her to die, but i dont want her to suffer anymore either... Its weird... i want it all to be over... but i dont. am i sick?