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Am I crazy?!

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by BaronVonHavok, Jul 11, 2012.


  1. Just need to rant about band drama because no one else undertands me! :bawl::bawl:

    lol, anyway, Lately we seem to be having problems in our band. Our new vocalist came in saying that he knew this wasn't "his" band and that he wouldn't have much of a say right away. 7 months later, his voice seems to be the only voice that matters in the band.

    I have been the one not taking his side in many of arguments because I don't see eye to eye with what he has to say. But I think he's finally driven me to the point of quitting.

    We have a show on Friday night, and our drummer cannot make it because of a family issue. We do not have a substitute, but one of my guitarists and I have a great friend who listens to our music on the regular and has proven to know our songs. My singer has someone else, that no one in the band knows, and he refuses to let us practice with the guy who lives closer and is more known in the band. My singer's argument being "I don't know your friend and I'm not comfortable playing with drummers I don't know because I can't seem to match up with what they're playing." My guitarist and I flipped and we're using our drummer or not playing the gig at all. (not playing the gig at all is probably going to happen, seeing as we have two days to prepare)

    TL;DR

    Rant about how my singer thinks it's more important for a drummer to be linked up with a vocalist than a bassist.
     
  2. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    Why should you quit? It's obvious you and your guitarist aren't too thrilled with your singer acting like a prima dona. I'd be talking to the rest of the guys about sitting him down and explaining to him how a democracy really works. If he can't agree to the terms then so long singer.
     
  3. pmchenry

    pmchenry

    May 6, 2012
    SE PA
    Sounds like you've got the numbers on your side sir, why quit?
     
  4. Well on a normal day I'm usually by myself on things like this. But because this was more my guitarist's idea to use our friend than it was mine, he got upset as well. Like I said I just needed to rant. I have every intention of bringing this up with my bandmates at the next practice.
     
  5. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Minneapolis
    Well, you play bass, and post here, so there is little doubt that you are crazy. Let's just get that out of the way once and for all. I will be so much easier for you to make decisions, knowing this.

    Yes, you're crazy, but do you know who's a lot WORSE? Your singer.

    Drummers linking up with singers? Yeah, Keith Moon definitely follows vocals sometimes. However, I doubt you guys are The Who, and Moonie is not for everyone.

    Personally, I would use the singer's guy, just to see if it's as much of a nightmare as you think it's going to be. But that's just me. If you're worried about sucking, then you and your guitar player should probably tell him flat out, "we're using our guy."
     
  6. RustyAxe

    RustyAxe

    Jul 8, 2008
    Connecticut
    Ah, singers. To me, a singer that doesn't play an instrument is a liability to any band. So, in my world, your singer would be gone by now. Do the gig ... with the singer's drummer ... make it clear in your band introductions that night that the drummer is filling in (be sure to thank him!) ... and when the inevitable train wreck occurs you'll have ammunition for the next time he comes up with a brilliant "solution" to your next band problem (or to justify giving him the boot). Be sure to have someone record the show so you can play it for the whole band to hear at the next practice.
     
  7. wong99

    wong99

    Jun 6, 2012
    Yeah, tell the singer to chill or walk.
     
  8. Russell L

    Russell L

    Mar 5, 2011
    Cayce, SC
    That singer is an idiot, IMO. I'd tell him we out-voted him, like it or not. If doesn't like that he's welcome to walk.
     
  9. Phantasm

    Phantasm I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.

    Sep 16, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    That's the beauty of singers: nobody agrees, but only one person (usually the bass player) will speak up and try to be the voice of reason.

    The only thing worse than having to deal with a Narcissist is having to deal with people who are too afraid to do what's best for the band (i.e. get rid of the Narcissist.) They want to go with the flow and not be confrontational, so they just let the person who yells loudest have their way.

    The problem comes later, because once that person has their way, they'll find a new member of the band to focus on. Things will still go wrong and they can't accept that they're the cause of the problem!
     
  10. Well to keep things "PG," I really gave it to my vocalist this morning. I went off on pretty much everything that I've been having a problem with lately, and my guitarist stood behind everything I had to say. We are using the drummer that my guitarist and I are comfortable with.

    Thanks for listening guys. I know it might have sounded a bit hardheaded on my side, but I just needed to know that I wasn't being an idiot for no reason.
     
  11. livinitup0

    livinitup0

    Dec 22, 2011
    Why exactly did it take 7 months to have this discussion? Why did you need to "let him have it" at all?

    Seems to me like maybe you guys created this situation yourselves. If I'm in a project where no one is taking the lead then I'm going to.... And if no one calls me on it im going to assume that everyone's ok with me calling some shots. Lots of people don't like taking charge but someone usually has to.

    IMO if this has been such a problem for such a long time you guys need to take some responsibility for letting it get this bad. If you didn't want him taking charge you should have had a sit down a long time ago.

    Just my 0.02
     
  12. Deedubs

    Deedubs

    Mar 5, 2012
    this is one of the reasons i like playing for bands with the song writers name somewhere in the bands name. its their name, their songs (mainly), and there is (in most cases) no doubt who the band leader is.

    not that this is for everyone, and this will always be a non issue for me, but so far its been the easiest going, and most productive band that I've been a part of. it prob helps that he's a great humble musician, but when i started reading this tread it reminded me of my past band issues, and how they pretty much do not exist in my current band.

    thanks for making me (more) appreciate my current situation.
     

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