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Am I expecting too much?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by oniman7, Aug 25, 2012.


  1. I recently got a band back together. I've been playing with the drummer since June, trying to find a band with him. I was 16 when this started, he was 15.

    Last weekend I finally found a guitarist/singer willing to work with us. He's 17 and lives on the opposite side of town (both guys live about 40 minutes away in opposite directions). We practice at my house, and today I decided to cancel because almost everyone in my house has a virus. I asked the drummer if we could consider Wednesday, and he said "weekdays are not an option because I started (2 AP classes) and have a lot of homework".

    I can't help but feel a little annoyed. I know they're tough classes and he's occasionally (not presently) involved in theatre work. But my last band of the same age practiced 3 times during the week and during the weekend for 4 or 5 hours at a time. One guitarist got up at 5 to go golfing, did a full day of AP classes, and went to personal training twice a week and still managed. The other is in IB classes (regarded as much harder annd time consuming than AP) and worked 20+ hours a week at Publix.

    I haven't told the drummer about these expectations yet because I wanted to ground myself with a reality check first.
     
  2. Some kids need to work harder than others. I very rarely did a lot of school work and got good grades, even in AP classes. At that age, I had great retention and I was a great test taker. One of my best friends in high school, who I think is just as smart as I am, had to continually study to get good grades. So I had a lot of time to screw off and he did not.

    But regardless of that, he is going to give you the time he feels is appropriate, so no crying over it. Thems is the rules. :)
     
  3. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    Cali Intergalactic Mind Space - always on the edge
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    Not everyone is the same. Based on current research, teens need lots more sleep than previously thought due to the maturation process: http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/teensandsleep/a/teenssleepwell.htm

    IMO, your level of expectation based on your other band mates may not apply to your current band mate. Whether classes are more difficult or not, whether someone gets up at 5, etc. really has no relationship to anyone else.

    Sure, you can tell your current band mate about the other guys but I doubt that will motivate him to change. If you tell him you won't accept anything other than what you want him to do, expect him to quit since he seems to value education over your band.

    Good luck.
     
  4. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    Long Island, NY.
    Pretty much what the first two responses said - people are different and need to do different things in order to be successful. What works for one guy won't necessarily work for another. Personally, I have never had to work too hard in school in order to get good grades, but I know plenty of others who spend their entire days working constantly just to come close to a C. It sucks, but it is what it is. If you want to jam during the week then it might be worth looking around to try and find someone else to play with.
     
  5. You guys are right. I suppose what's upsetting me is how often he says he wants to take a shot at being a professional now and wants to play music for a living and be in a dedicated band. I think once a week is hardly enough, and we haven't even been able to do that consistently. We've met maybe 3 times in the last 2 months. I really do wanna be with guys who wan to practice and gig all the time and have a steady practice regimen.
     
  6. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    Long Island, NY.
    Take it from a guy who is not much older than you (I'm 22), people say all kinds of crap that they don't mean :D And at your age people are going to be experimenting a lot and trying a lot of things that may seem fun or cool at the time, but quickly turn out to be more work or less enjoyable than previously thought. That's not to say your friend feels this way necessarily, but it's wise to learn now that people will often say things only to end up letting you down (whether intentionally or not).
     
  7. jarrydee

    jarrydee

    Oct 22, 2011
    Michigan
    what is wrong with once a week? thats all my band practices, I would not want to practice more, there is no need to. Everyone should learn their parts by them selves and once a week out it all together...
     
  8. Like I said, even though I'd want more, I know once a week is a reasonable number. I just don't think I've ever had practice once a week for more than 2 weeks in a row. That's why it frustrates me a little when I have to cancel due to illness and don't have a workaround day, or even the consideration as to whether it's possible.
     
  9. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    Long Island, NY.
    Well at his age practicing as often as possible would definitely help them all improve as players. Once you get to a certain point I find that rehearsals become less necessary as people figure out what they need to work on outside of rehearsal, but at their age just playing as often as possible would definitely help. IMHO, IME, YMMV.
     
  10. ddnidd1

    ddnidd1 Supporting Member

    At your age pretty much everybody wants to be a 'professional, dedicated musician'. IF that's want you think you want to do - get serious. If somebody can't commit, find someone who can.

    Profession=Business.

    In reality given your age you might want to just concentrate on playing as much as possible and see where it goes. But if YOU have to practice X times a week, find people with the same inclination.

    Don't dump on the guy because he's concentrating on school, which in Reality is much more likely to pay off for him than being a 'professional musician'.
     
  11. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Interesting. A drummer who has his priorities straight.
     
  12. II guess the key is going to be careful planning to make sure we get one day a week. The guitarist suggested he and I meet during the week when his work schedule allows to work on writing. I'll keep my reservations to myself as long as we can work something out for now. It's just weird coming from 4 practices a week
     

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