am I right in this or what?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Atef, Sep 18, 2005.

  1. So, here's the deal. few weeks ago I broke up with my girlfriend, we had something for about 4 months, so no big deal, just something nice for a while, but nothing that would last, I broke up with her because didn't feel like putting a lot of energy into the relation while I thought it was a dead end anyway(I was on the verge of moving out of town, so maintaining would've meant a lot of travelling and phoning about). She didn't take it too hard, she had the same feeling. nice while it lasted. She was a nice rather sly girl

    Note I loved the girl for a while, and really felt a lot of affection, even after I broke up.

    Now the problem, news reached me that the day after we split up she had sex with a guy(I'd actually say boy, but I won't be discriminating on age, let's just say he's a minor) she didn't know before that day, and the day after that she kissed another guy with whom she still has something going on.

    My reaction was utter disgust, even though I broke up I feel rather cheated and I don't want to see her ever again. I feel really dirty even knowing her, let alone having had a relationship with someone like that. If there were a puke smilie I'd be using that. It seems like a completely slutty(can I say this on talkbass?) thing to do.

    IS this reaction anything weird, I really need someone giving me some confirmation, because I can hardly believe she even did it beeing the same person as she was.

    Is she in a rebound or anything? geez

    I'm gonna take a shower, I feel too filthy
  2. BurningSkies

    BurningSkies CRAZY BALDHEAD

    Feb 20, 2005
    Seweracuse, NY
    People handle breakups differently. Not that it makes things better, but she might have 'a lot going on' that you don't know about emotionally or mentally. She also might be doing this to um, make you notice...
  3. Dan Molina

    Dan Molina TalkBass Secular Progressive

    Jul 17, 2002
    Murr Town, California
    I took my last relationship the samw way. My ex slept with and got pregnant to some guy a month after we broke up. (well she broke up with me after a year and a half long relationship) Anyway, it'll take time but then you'll really discover its in your best interest not to worry.
  4. Spikeh

    Spikeh Sex Strings

    The way I deal with splitting up from a girl I love is to not have any contact with them or their friends - I don't wanna know what they do with someone else after I split with them... it ****s me up, similar to the way you describe it. I don't need to know, so I try not to find out!

    I don't think it's wierd... If you had something serious going on, you're bound to feel bad if she does something close to the break up point... I mean... to me, it DOES sound slutty... but that's just my opinion... I'd feel the same - not want to see them again etc. Not sure I'd class it as "cheating", but I know where you're coming from... you feel like she should be regretting it, or upset, sitting in a room crying about it... but the fact that she's out having fun / sleeping with people, suggests that she's not upset at all and she's just getting on with it. Probably a complete lie - she'll be upset, she's just dealing with it differently!
  5. yeah, at the moment I'm REALLY glad I broke up with her, but I have this gut feeling of disgust and mild hatred

    Even if I would have dumped her because I liked someone else, I'd wait a while for things to clear out a bit out of respect you know.

    problem is, I met her through my friends, and they're unsure of what stance to take, they've known me longer and would probably see me as a better friend, but she's in their class and hanging out with them as well.

    by the way, I don't understand why she didn't dump me when she would rather be going on having a go at every object with a carrot like object(well, not TOO carrotlike) between their legs.

    It just seems like unrespectfull or unproper, dunno, might be that I'm oldfashioned
  6. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Yeah, and go see a doctor to make sure you hasn't given you anything.

  7. syciprider

    syciprider Banned

    May 27, 2005
    Inland Empire
    Get a check up hehe.

    And get out of her circle.
  8. Your reaction is relatively normal.

    I've been in situations such as the one you mentioned above and I found that completely removing myself from anything that may have to do with any of the parties involved was the best manner of dealing with it.
  9. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Your reaction seems to be normal, but completely illogical.
  10. Don't_Fret

    Don't_Fret Justin Schornstein

    Dec 10, 2003
    East Coast, US

    Attached Files:

  11. Ericman197


    Feb 23, 2004
    I think we all feel that way. I was absolutely devastated when my girlfriend and I had to break up (long story). I still miss her and think about her all the time, despite my having another girlfriend right now :meh: It was an extreme case though; she was one of those messed up girls who cut herself, drank to excess, had sex with her stepfather, etc.
  12. canopener


    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    Yup, what Mike said...see a doctor, and then forget about her.
  13. simpy1


    Mar 31, 2005
    New Zealand
    It's just a rebound thing. Some girls seem to lose all logic when they get out of a long relationship, and then, feeling alone and worthless, they choose to go and have sex with the nearest partner. Of course it is a bad decision, and they realise this very quickly.

    Just don't completely shun her because she's not making good decisions. Give yourself (and her) some time to cool off and catch up with her in a while. If she's still acting this way then let her be, but I reckon she'll be feeling pretty bad about it soon. People don't just suddenly change personality - maybe temporarily they do in times of stress but she'll come around and I'm sure you guys will be able to be friends to a degree at least.
  14. Spikeh

    Spikeh Sex Strings

    Most of the guys on here seem like very decent blokes. I mean... you know the stereotype bloke... that goes around getting whatever he can, ever weekend? None of you seem like that - you're giving good, sound advice and you all seem like you're the monogamous types... which is reassuring to me, cos I am and not many people I know are!

    Just thought I'd say... not really a contribution to the post, but from what I've read, at least I know there are other guys in the world like me ;P
  15. Just forgive n forget another fish will swim by
  16. Tash


    Feb 13, 2005
    Bel Air Maryland
    Getting dumped is a blow to anyone's self esteem. Girls with low self esteem very commonly engage in this kind of behavior because they feel they have to "take what they can get" as opposed to finding someone that is really good to them. Maybe she'll turn her thinking around in a little while and regret doing what she did, or maybe not. Ultimately its her choice and her problem and you cannot do anything about it one way or another. Just walk away.
  17. well, I'm quite sure i don't have to visit the doctor, I don't feel filthy in THAt way,

    but I'm still shocked about it, but it helps that even her friends agree with me, as do most of you, so that's nice, it'll work out of course

    by the way, the girl ebfore that was a problemgirl, I still suspect her of beeing a borderline patient.