Am I taking this too seriously?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by NML1986, May 16, 2012.


  1. NML1986

    NML1986

    Feb 25, 2012
    Lincoln UK
    Well at work everyone gives and gets a bit of banter, but since I've started working permanent nights, I've been going in to find that someone had painted HOMO and GAY on my locker, then every night I've been finding other homophobic insults in my work bay.

    I've tried to laugh it off, but it's really starting to get on my nerves.

    I think it's got something to do with leaving my girlfriend last month, and my mate has been trying to set me up with other women for a bit of 'fun', and because I've not been interested for the fact I'm not ready to start out again, they seem to think I'm gay.

    Am I over reacting, or is this bullying?

    Also maybe I should remind my useless team leader that graffiting is a sackable offence.
     
  2. sandmangeck

    sandmangeck

    Jul 2, 2007
    Colorado
    How old are you?
     
  3. Geroi Asfalta

    Geroi Asfalta

    Aug 23, 2011
    First time I'd let it slide. Second time I'd report it.
     
  4. It sounds like they crossed the line IMO. How long has this been going on?

    Also, what kind of work do you do? (just curious)
     
  5. NML1986

    NML1986

    Feb 25, 2012
    Lincoln UK
    25, no I'm not a bored school kid on their holidays. ;)
     
  6. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Do you have an HR department? They love issues like this.
    A former coworker/friend of mine used to call me "gay" all the time, like walk by my office and whisper "youre gay" kind of ribbing, not knowing about my sexuality at all.
    It got annoying, tbh, but never to the point of me taking offense, so I just ignored him.

    Though if it had gotten to the level you describe, people graffitiing my workplace and whatnot Id definitely have made an issue about it.
     
  7. NML1986

    NML1986

    Feb 25, 2012
    Lincoln UK
    The banter has been going on since I started 7 years ago, I've always had gay jibes, I'm one of the youngest there so an easy target I guess.

    The recent jibes have been going on for nearly a month.

    I'm a die/tool fitter working in a factory.
     
  8. If it makes you uncomfortable they crossed a line... Its cool if your in on the joke it when your not laughing it off anymore its time to speak up. I'd ask them to cut it out face to face first.

    "haha... It was funny the first 3 times... But it's not anymore. Can you please stop.
    Cause its getting a little out of hand now. And I no longer think it's funny."
     
  9. swaps

    swaps

    May 12, 2012
    Austin, MN
    yeah, they've definitely crossed the line.
     
  10. NML1986

    NML1986

    Feb 25, 2012
    Lincoln UK
    The problem is I have no idea who's doing it, I can't point the finger or I'll be at fault for making accusations.

    I left a message on my chalk board for who ever did it, but my work mate on nights with me suggest I rub it off, as I could get sacked for threatening.

    Looking back glad I did as I said I was going to knock them out. That's out of character for me, takes a bit for me to get wound up.
     
  11. That's a tough situation. Got enough $$ for a cheap nanny-cam?
     
  12. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    I would suggest you put a new message up in a nonthreatening manner.
    Something to the effect of whats already been said:

    "To whomever feels the need to mark my locker with derogatory homosexual references I recommend you cease now before this becomes an HR issue."
     
  13. NML1986

    NML1986

    Feb 25, 2012
    Lincoln UK
    I'll see what's waiting for me at work, just about to get ready.

    If there's anything, I'll leave a message.

    Cheers. :)
     
  14. pflash4001

    pflash4001

    Dec 2, 2011
    Leave a note there like before, but leave out the threat. Mention that it bothers you and that you will advise HR of the matter. As long as it makes you uncomfortable, it's workplace violence. If you report it and HR doesn't act and it continues (company officials) become liable.
     
  15. If this is happening repeatedly, it sounds like there is an issue that needs to be addressed with HR, if it becomes an annoyance to you.
    It's unprofessional and very childish.
     
  16. hover

    hover

    Oct 4, 2008
    Massachusetts
    Start the paper trail. Have everything documented so there is a history. I would get HR involved either way. Keep notes of all correspondence in case the HR person is a "company Joe" and will side with the company every time...

    If you get no satisfaction due to inaction on their part to intervene / settle the issue, then it becomes a lawsuit against the company.

    I really hate this infantile small minded nonsense. Do you have a copy of the employee handbook? They should be readily distributed or at least accessible. Highlight or photocopy any and all clauses that fall in the umbrella of abuse you are experiencing, and hold the company to the letter to their policies. Or hand them their ass. They wouldn't be the first, nor sadly the last to be sued over this stuff.
     
  17. Especially when it affects your job...
     
  18. Rush-2112

    Rush-2112

    Dec 14, 2008
    New York City
    Let us know how it goes man. Any workplace bully deserves to get canned :spit:
     
  19. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim Supporting Member


    As many people have already said,
    you need to go to your employer and lodge a complaint. Let them take it from there.
     
  20. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya

    Jan 13, 2008
    You need to take it up with HR anyways. Even if they stop directed it towards you they might begin directing it towards someone else, and no one deserves to be the subject of that kind of thing.
     
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    Primary TB Assistant

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