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Am I wrong!!!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by haujobb, Jan 14, 2005.

  1. haujobb


    Dec 16, 2004
    I just got into a huge fight with my guitarist tonite, I started seeing a new girl about a month ago and him and my drummer hate her for some reason which they never feel neccesary to tell me. She never does anything to them, in fact, just last night my guitarist took it upon himself to yell at her for 5 minutes in public about why he thinks catholics are retarded knowing full well that she is catholic.

    So tonight my drummer went to far and started saying **** about her online, I snapped and told them to stop saying **** about my girl. My guitarist comes back saying **** about "Bro's before Bitches" and stupid **** like that. So I say if he was my friend he would recognise what's important to me and respect it, to which he says "Well I guess I'm not your friend and your gonna see what that's really like." So I was like "Fine, sick of driving your lazy, unemployed ass around anyways"

    Was I wrong?
  2. NJL


    Apr 12, 2002
    San Antonio
    you guys will all grow up and out of this BS

  3. you were not wrong,its always good to stick up for people you care about,try and use humor with them ,they are still your friends,maybe they see something you dont,you just never know sometimes , a long long time ago my friend came to me and said my girlfriend was hittin on him ,i got mad at him ,i should have listened to him,i would have saved myself a lot of trouble,all im saying is at least listen to what people say to you ,im not saying your girlfriend is bad ,you probably love her and shes may be the one for you,remeber men think with the wrong head when its comes to woman,be careful is all im saying
  4. haujobb


    Dec 16, 2004
    Meh, He just said it was funny that I thought I deserved respect...

    None the less I'm now bandless...
  5. My best friend used to tell me my girlfriend made me insane. If he had let me figure that out for myself, I might not have married her (11 years & 3 kids later, she still makes me insane, & I wouldn't have it any other way). Be careful what you say, or listen to..

    Oh, & the bandless part will most likely not last.
  6. Kelly Lee

    Kelly Lee Yeah, I'm a guy! Supporting Member

    Feb 17, 2004
    Marana, AZ, USA
    Taking a "guess" here but...they just don't like sharing you. They are probably jealous of the time you spend with your girl. Unfortunately I have seen it many times before and it is a band killer.

    Dude, I would tell them to quit their bi****'n! If they won't tell you whats up then tell them they have no right to talk smack about her. If they won't tell ya still, grab your gear and move on. Maybe after you leave they will cool off and come to the reality that they were wrong in that they didn't discuss the problem with you to start with.

    Let me share a little story with you. I was working with a group of really young guys about 2 years ago. They were 15, 18, and 19. Because I had a job(none of them did!), wife, and two children, they thought I couldn't "commit" to the band. I found out I was replaced when I showed up for practice and there was another bassist plugged into my rig! Not one of the them could look me in the eye or say a word. I told them how disrespectful it was, grabbed my gear, told them to "F*** OFF!" and then left. The very next day the rhythm guitarist (the 15yo) comes to me and apoligizes for their actions and his personally. Funny how the band fell apart after I left and me and that guitarist still work together on projects. Matter of fact, he has become a good friend.

    Lesson is:

    Life is too short to deal with immature guitarist and drummers.
    *This can aslo include friends, girlfriends or whoever else is immature*
    If they really are your friends, they will come around and find a way to work things out. Remember that you have to do your part as well. Good luck.

    EDIT: Everyone deserves respect until they do something that is disrespectful to you.
  7. Finger Blister

    Finger Blister

    Jul 8, 2003
    hhmmmm, Catholic Girls are the best...
  8. Kelly Lee

    Kelly Lee Yeah, I'm a guy! Supporting Member

    Feb 17, 2004
    Marana, AZ, USA
    Yea, I know. ;)
  9. Joey3313


    Nov 28, 2003
    They obviously don't know anything.

    I mean, "bro's before bitches"...everyone knows the expression is "bro's before ho's".
  10. guitarists/drummers and singers don't like it when they don't get all the girls.

    It has happened to me before and really, a friend should (key word... should) understand the heart.
  11. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    My 15 year old son doesn't even have problems like this. I feel sorry for you.

  12. I'm with you on that one Joey
  13. haujobb


    Dec 16, 2004
    I'm going on Sunday to pick up my gear (I have to plan a day for it because we practise in the next town over from where I live). My final word was to call me when they can learn to respect me. By the time we got to the point of myself quitting it was no longer about the girl, but the fact that they couldn't respect me enough to respect the girl.

    In all honesty, I was a little apprehensive about the direction of the music anyways, I was leaning towards a more experimental almost 'Toolish' vibe and everyone else was going the other way.

    Despite my best efforts, my girlfriend discovered the reason and I had to spend 20 minutes convincing her that she didn't do anything to cause it.

    I might take some time off from the band thing, then prolly start doing some solo stuff like I've attempted to do several times before, I might get in a cover band to satisfy my urges to play live.

    Might sound a little bit vain, but I think they suffered a great loss, I have a small but still very evident reputation for my style and it became very much a dominant part of that band. But once again, my style was starting to go against that of the band so... :bassist:
  14. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central

    I think the fact that she's concerned about you doing your music is pretty evident she's a solid girl. Or that she is an insanely manipulative, diabolically psychotic genius, and you are like helpless gelatin in her hands.

    In which case, I hope the mammy jammy is fine and dandy...mammy jammy with psychotic genius' generally is.

    ( ;) )
  15. haujobb


    Dec 16, 2004
    Lol thanks for that, hopefully it's Option A and I'm not making ahuge mistake, but I guess only time will tell...
  16. Ouch.

    Sounds like another case of the immaturity virus. It goes around some times. Just be glad you have some immunity.

    Rock on
  17. Dude, if the members in the band were so quick to break up with you, I don't see how they were even "friends" in the first place. I mean, wow, that's really immature of them. Well, you probably shouldn't have said what you said, but honestly if I were in your shoes I'd probably do the same.
  18. Frank Martin

    Frank Martin Bitten by the luthiery bug...

    Oct 8, 2001
    Budapest, Hungary, EU
    Dude, if your bandmates were like this, I dont know why you put up with them so far.
    Oh and nevermind being bandless. Like I've been bandless for, ... erm... like all the time :meh: :bawl:
    Well, ok, I get to play at some places and get invited to play, but practically I've been bandless. It's just a) there are not many bands around doing the type of music I'd like to and b) when I began, I was a noob, now I've got lots of things to do in these two years of the uni, but after this semester, well, here I come! :smug:
  19. haujobb


    Dec 16, 2004
    Update: I was out and about today at the local amusment park with my girlfriend where we met up with some friends who rented a room for the weekend. My singer happened to be there so we snuck away and talked some business, he has a personal interest in this issue as it not only involves the band but his cousin (my girlfriend). To say the least, he wasn't very pleased and had only found out about the problem this morning from his aunt.

    After some talk of the situation he convinced me to attend practise tomorrow on the condition that if the other two could not shape up he would walk with me. I'm a little reluctant but I guess it's worth a shot and it's good to know that I have his support.
  20. May I suggest you consider going in w/an attitude of forgiveness & understanding? You could be the one to calm the waters. Just a thought, not saying you are or were in the wrong.