An Effects Pedal Cool Wall: A Proposal

Any dirt pedal whose manufacturer puts up demos played through an all-tube head, all the while professing its "tube-like sound," is seriously uncool.

 

Fuzzhugger pedals have to be seriously cool (sub zero?) because Tom will customize them to what you want including the graphics.

Any thing that sounds great and was discontinued like the Harmonic Percolator and D*A*M Ezekiel are seriously cool.

Limited editions like the Mellowtone Clean Channel-Dirty Channel with the buyers choice of colors are also seriously cool.

Question how do you factor in the availability issues, things that we can't get in the US are seriously cool because we can't get them but may be un-cool in Japan or the UK and visa versa..

MM

 

I would venture to say that Behringer pedals are "cool" by virtue of trying to be a direct replica of something "uncool". It's like the hipster state of mind where the uncool is uncool, but copying the uncool is cool. Take, for example, a Britney Spears song, which by nature is uncool, a cover is seriously cool.

 

Any dirt pedal that says BASS on it or in it's description that doesn't actually add lows - uncool.

 

Tech 21 XXL Bass Edition: Sub-Zero.

It's PURPLE. 'Nuff said.

Also: HM-2 needs an exception. G.C. Green used one, and he is cool.

 

Rules I generally go by:

All Danelectro pedals must be rock-bottom because they look like arse.

Everybody owns a Boss OC-2, because it's the one effect pedal that is guaranteed to work for every bassist regardless of application, but because of that it's automatically cool.

The Mutron III+ is the epitome of cool and the pedal by which all others shall be judged.

Anyway... My nominations for cool pedals:

EHX Bass Micro Synthesizer
Robot Factory Pulse Synth
Anything by BugBrand
Any Malekko Echo

Uncool:

EHX XO Bass Micro Synth
Entire Line 6 product range
Any digital Multi-FX excluding Eventide
Any pedal in a black case

 

I think your all dorks. With way too much time on your hands.

 

<internet pedant mode>"You're"</internet pedant mode>

 

I was mildly annoyed by the whole thing until I got to this part:

...Where I cracked a grin and said "all right, this guy knows this topic is a bit silly, so it's OK."

I think any pedal that does the job really well is cool, even if it's made by a giant corporation and endorsed by teen idols or has-been rockers. Of course most of the time that type of pedal doesn't do the job really well, but it can't be assumed.

There's obvious cool from exclusivity, but I think there's also cool from doing something that bucks popular expectations. So my FEA Dual-Band comp is cool because it's a bit exclusive (not to mention metallic blue, with 11 silver knobs); but the Arion SCO-1 is also cool because it is so terrible that no-one in their right mind would use it, so if you do use it for the great lofi sounds it can make, you're cool.

 

Oh snap. Forum snarkiness pwnage.

 

Hmm.. you can HAZ reissue? (the original does not bare the +)

 

Cool:
Malekko
Frostwave

Uncool:
Discontinued pedals that cost more than double used what they went for new.

 

People we NEED a list in the first post so I'll just do some suggestions and others can edit them to their liking.

Seriously Uncool:

Uncool:
Boss
Zvex (overpriced and mainstream "boutique")

Cool:
Supercollider
MI audio Neo/GI fuzz
Malekko

Sub Zero:
Electronix (full range)
Cream Pie (because of the name )
Most of Devi ever (minus the strange noise double joystick things)
\/
DE Kareoke Party (the name, the sound, the visual, it's perfect)

Edit: Just a quote from bongo on the issue of "what is cool"
BONGO: "I think any pedal that does the job really well is cool, even if it's made by a giant corporation and endorsed by teen idols or has-been rockers. Of course most of the time that type of pedal doesn't do the job really well, but it can't be assumed.

There's obvious cool from exclusivity, but I think there's also cool from doing something that bucks popular expectations. So my FEA Dual-Band comp is cool because it's a bit exclusive (not to mention metallic blue, with 11 silver knobs); but the Arion SCO-1 is also cool because it is so terrible that no-one in their right mind would use it, so if you do use it for the great lofi sounds it can make, you're cool."

I'd say: If it works well and it isn't claiming to be the best thing that ever happened to your sound than thats cool. If it is not regularly available, it works well and it's not overhyped for no reason at all it's cool. If it's really bad and noone is using it than that can be cool too. If it's mainstream and it's bad than thats just way uncool. If it's bad and really commercial than it's seriously uncool. IMHO

 

I like the idea being a Top Gear fan, but I can see pretty much where it's going and can make an informed judgement going by your rulings.

Mass produced - uncool
Boutique - cool

That just about covers it. It's also makes me uncool.

PS, If you're going to use a guitarist as a yard stick, can it be one we've heard of?

 

He plays for Primus. In the bass world, that's pretty cool.

As for the pedals, I think everything whichis functional over funny noise making, like signal blenders and hum removers need to be uncool. Very useful to have, but just not cool. I suppose a like of compressors will fall under this (sorry Bongo). You can't really sound cool talking about the smooth compression and lack of artefacts from a compressor, except in very rare circumstances.

 

I'm going to extend this and say any pedal that professes a "tube-like sound", regardless of what its played through, is uncool. Its honestly a marketing tool.

Exceptions: any dirt pedal that literally has a tube in it, which is cool, and the Digitech Bad Monkey, which sounds awesome and is quite cheap.