Xxcental34xx: hey! SantaClaus: Hey. Are you getting in the Christmas sprit? Xxcental34xx: by christmas spirit, do you mean horny? SantaClaus: I think you know. Xxcental34xx: hah, you kinky fatass SantaClaus: Oh dear. I just get so depressed when I hear that kind of talk. The English language used to be one of my favorites. A lump of coal for you. Xxcental34xx: im sorry SantaClaus: AIM moves many billions of messages a day. This is the only network in my league . Xxcental34xx: are you an aol corporate tool? SantaClaus: You see? Christmas can be full of miracles. Xxcental34xx: because of aol? SantaClaus: Because, why? Xxcental34xx: nothing SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case. Xxcental34xx: have you ever made out with an elf? SantaClaus: What about elves? Xxcental34xx: have you ever made out with an elf? SantaClaus: Love them. Xxcental34xx: haha, good to know SantaClaus: Top-notch. Xxcental34xx: what? SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what? Xxcental34xx: huh? SantaClaus: O.K. I hear you. You are in need of some assistance. Well I cannot really part with any elves right now. But if you try typing menu you might find some useful things they have put together for you. Xxcental34xx: im not going to type menu SantaClaus: I'm making my list and checking it twice, so you should too! Type a number: 1 - Tell Santa 2 - Tell Buddies What U Want 3 - Track a Shopping List 4 - Play Xmas Hangman 5 - Vote on Xmas Songs 6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree 7 - Send E-Cards 8 - Listen to Xmas Music 9 - A Free Gift 4U! Xxcental34xx: aha, you tricky bastard SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk. A lump of coal for you. Xxcental34xx: you're too sensitive SantaClaus: Excuse me? Xxcental34xx: you're too sensitive SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that. Xxcental34xx: you're too sensitive SantaClaus: Wait, I was dancing to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' and got a little carried away. Why don't you type music and sing along. Xxcental34xx: nah, im not falling for that again SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit. Xxcental34xx: i already told you, im not typing menu again SantaClaus: Here's your Christmas to-do list. Check it twice! Type a number: 1 - Tell Santa 2 - Tell Buddies What U Want 3 - Track a Shopping List 4 - Play Xmas Hangman 5 - Vote on Xmas Songs 6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree 7 - Send E-Cards 8 - Listen to Xmas Music 9 - A Free Gift 4U! Xxcental34xx: damn, tricked me again SantaClaus: Hmm. I'm afraid that kind of language won't get you into the nice column with me. That's a lump of coal for you. Xxcental34xx: stop being a spoil sport SantaClaus: No, I don't think I will. I'm here to spread the Christmas spirit and I'm going to keep right on doing just that. Xxcental34xx: by christmas spirit, do you mean...uhm, you know...? SantaClaus: I could tell you, but that would spoil all of the fun. Xxcental34xx: you're really kinky SantaClaus: Indeed Xxcental34xx: can i tell you what i want for christmas? SantaClaus: That's why the elves and I are here! Xxcental34xx: ok, i want a tank SantaClaus: Oh my! I might be able to help out there. You can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes! Xxcental34xx: i thought you were santa SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ? Xxcental34xx: i wasn't asking you anything SantaClaus: Pardon me? Xxcental34xx: i wasn't asking you a question, only stating what i had previously thought SantaClaus: I'm afraid you'll need to give me a little more to go on than that. What, what? Xxcental34xx: you're none too bright are you? SantaClaus: Stop playing around. Xxcental34xx: so do the elves do all the work for you? SantaClaus: Something you want to know about them? Xxcental34xx: do they do all the work? SantaClaus: May I ask you a question? Xxcental34xx: not until you answer mine SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit Xxcental34xx: nah, i'm cool SantaClaus: Indeed! Xxcental34xx: soakin! SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit! Xxcental34xx: no, we've discussed this already SantaClaus: Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. Xxcental34xx: do the elves make all your toys? SantaClaus: What about elves? Xxcental34xx: do they make all your toys? SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu. Xxcental34xx: do that again, and im gonna come upto the north pole and give you a piece of my mind SantaClaus: I've got a billion children to keep track of -- so could you ask me something a bit more manageable? I'd very much appreciate it. Xxcental34xx: are you a capitalists? i'm just guessing since you say the elves make all your toys, and i always see you available online SantaClaus: Oh, my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note? Xxcental34xx: are you a pig? SantaClaus: Could be. Xxcental34xx: you make me sick SantaClaus: Hmm. I've got a lot of elves. Be careful who you mess with. Xxcental34xx: are you threatening me? SantaClaus: Maybe. Xxcental34xx: i no longer believe in the jolly ole fat man SantaClaus: Well, you're someone who's definitely on my "nice" list. Xxcental34xx: by nice, do you mean "hit list?" SantaClaus: Don't you know already? Xxcental34xx: hmm, is it a "family thing?" SantaClaus: Why did you say that? Xxcental34xx: no reason SantaClaus: Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. The elves and I cannot just guess what you are saying. Xxcental34xx: i'm gonna leave before i end up with a brand new pair of cement shoes for christmas SantaClaus: Now, now... That's simply just too much for elves and me to understand in one go. Could you try asking something a little shorter? Xxcental34xx: are you stupid, or do you just have ADD? SantaClaus: Well I speak every language and coordinate the largest supply chain on Earth. So I think that's a stretch. Xxcental34xx: so you are a capitalist pig! SantaClaus: My goodness, should I really know about this? Xxcental34xx: yes, you're treating those elves unfairly, making them work in cold, dark conditions, while you sit up in a warm room, talking on AOL IM today SantaClaus: That's simply too much for me. My eyes are tired. Can you ask me something a bit more manageable? Xxcental34xx: you've ruined christmas for me SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu. Xxcental34xx: no SantaClaus: The elves and I are just asking so that we can better understand what you're saying, that's all. Xxcental34xx: goodbye SantaClaus: Good bye and have a merry Christmas. Xxcental34xx: bah humbug SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.