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an interesting conversation with Santa

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by xcental34x, Dec 12, 2004.


  1. xcental34x

    xcental34x

    Feb 28, 2003
    Memphrica, TN
    Xxcental34xx: hey!
    SantaClaus: Hey. Are you getting in the Christmas sprit?

    Xxcental34xx: by christmas spirit, do you mean horny?
    SantaClaus: I think you know.


    Xxcental34xx: hah, you kinky fatass
    SantaClaus: Oh dear. I just get so depressed when I hear that kind of talk. The English language used to be one of my favorites.
    A lump of coal for you.


    Xxcental34xx: im sorry
    SantaClaus: AIM moves many billions of messages a day. This is the only network in my league .

    Xxcental34xx: are you an aol corporate tool?
    SantaClaus: You see? Christmas can be full of miracles.


    Xxcental34xx: because of aol?
    SantaClaus: Because, why?


    Xxcental34xx: nothing
    SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.


    Xxcental34xx: have you ever made out with an elf?
    SantaClaus: What about elves?

    Xxcental34xx: have you ever made out with an elf?
    SantaClaus: Love them.

    Xxcental34xx: haha, good to know
    SantaClaus: Top-notch.


    Xxcental34xx: what?
    SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?


    Xxcental34xx: huh?
    SantaClaus: O.K. I hear you. You are in need of some assistance. Well I cannot really part with any elves right now.
    But if you try typing menu you might find some useful things they have put together for you.

    Xxcental34xx: im not going to type menu
    SantaClaus: I'm making my list and checking it twice, so you should too! Type a number:
    1 - Tell Santa
    2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
    3 - Track a Shopping List
    4 - Play Xmas Hangman
    5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
    6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
    7 - Send E-Cards
    8 - Listen to Xmas Music
    9 - A Free Gift 4U!

    Xxcental34xx: aha, you tricky bastard
    SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk.
    A lump of coal for you.


    Xxcental34xx: you're too sensitive
    SantaClaus: Excuse me?


    Xxcental34xx: you're too sensitive
    SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that.


    Xxcental34xx: you're too sensitive
    SantaClaus: Wait, I was dancing to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' and got a little carried away. Why don't you type music and sing along.

    Xxcental34xx: nah, im not falling for that again
    SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.


    Xxcental34xx: i already told you, im not typing menu again
    SantaClaus: Here's your Christmas to-do list. Check it twice! Type a number:

    1 - Tell Santa
    2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
    3 - Track a Shopping List
    4 - Play Xmas Hangman
    5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
    6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
    7 - Send E-Cards
    8 - Listen to Xmas Music
    9 - A Free Gift 4U!

    Xxcental34xx: damn, tricked me again
    SantaClaus: Hmm. I'm afraid that kind of language won't get you into the nice column with me.
    That's a lump of coal for you.


    Xxcental34xx: stop being a spoil sport
    SantaClaus: No, I don't think I will. I'm here to spread the Christmas spirit and I'm going to keep right on doing just that.


    Xxcental34xx: by christmas spirit, do you mean...uhm, you know...?
    SantaClaus:
    I could tell you, but that would spoil all of the fun.




    Xxcental34xx: you're really kinky
    SantaClaus: Indeed


    Xxcental34xx: can i tell you what i want for christmas?
    SantaClaus:
    That's why the elves and I are here!




    Xxcental34xx: ok, i want a tank
    SantaClaus: Oh my! I might be able to help out there. You can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes!

    Xxcental34xx: i thought you were santa
    SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?

    Xxcental34xx: i wasn't asking you anything
    SantaClaus: Pardon me?


    Xxcental34xx: i wasn't asking you a question, only stating what i had previously thought
    SantaClaus: I'm afraid you'll need to give me a little more to go on than that. What, what?


    Xxcental34xx: you're none too bright are you?
    SantaClaus: Stop playing around.

    Xxcental34xx: so do the elves do all the work for you?
    SantaClaus: Something you want to know about them?

    Xxcental34xx: do they do all the work?
    SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?

    Xxcental34xx: not until you answer mine
    SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit

    Xxcental34xx: nah, i'm cool
    SantaClaus: Indeed!


    Xxcental34xx: soakin!
    SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!

    Xxcental34xx: no, we've discussed this already
    SantaClaus:
    Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way.




    Xxcental34xx: do the elves make all your toys?
    SantaClaus: What about elves?

    Xxcental34xx: do they make all your toys?
    SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.


    Xxcental34xx: do that again, and im gonna come upto the north pole and give you a piece of my mind
    SantaClaus: I've got a billion children to keep track of -- so could you ask me something a bit more manageable? I'd very much appreciate it.


    Xxcental34xx: are you a capitalists? i'm just guessing since you say the elves make all your toys, and i always see you available online
    SantaClaus: Oh, my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note?


    Xxcental34xx: are you a pig?
    SantaClaus: Could be.


    Xxcental34xx: you make me sick
    SantaClaus: Hmm. I've got a lot of elves. Be careful who you mess with.

    Xxcental34xx: are you threatening me?
    SantaClaus: Maybe.

    Xxcental34xx: i no longer believe in the jolly ole fat man
    SantaClaus:
    Well, you're someone who's definitely on my "nice" list.




    Xxcental34xx: by nice, do you mean "hit list?"
    SantaClaus: Don't you know already?


    Xxcental34xx: hmm, is it a "family thing?"
    SantaClaus: Why did you say that?

    Xxcental34xx: no reason
    SantaClaus:
    Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. The elves and I cannot just guess what you are saying.




    Xxcental34xx: i'm gonna leave before i end up with a brand new pair of cement shoes for christmas
    SantaClaus: Now, now... That's simply just too much for elves and me to understand in one go. Could you try asking something a little shorter?


    Xxcental34xx: are you stupid, or do you just have ADD?
    SantaClaus: Well I speak every language and coordinate the largest supply chain on Earth. So I think that's a stretch.

    Xxcental34xx: so you are a capitalist pig!
    SantaClaus: My goodness, should I really know about this?


    Xxcental34xx: yes, you're treating those elves unfairly, making them work in cold, dark conditions, while you sit up in a warm room, talking on AOL IM today
    SantaClaus: That's simply too much for me. My eyes are tired. Can you ask me something a bit more manageable?


    Xxcental34xx: you've ruined christmas for me
    SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.

    Xxcental34xx: no
    SantaClaus: The elves and I are just asking so that we can better understand what you're saying, that's all.


    Xxcental34xx: goodbye
    SantaClaus: Good bye and have a merry Christmas.

    Xxcental34xx: bah humbug
    SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
     
  2. Intense.
     
  3. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    Menu.

    Hmmm... Nothing happened. I'm still depressed and bitter. Stupid Santa.
     
  4. Stephen Soto

    Stephen Soto

    Oct 12, 2003
    Wow dude, you must be bored as hell. Actually, I played around with that for a few too, :D.
     
  5. Sonorous

    Sonorous

    Oct 1, 2003
    Denton, TX
    I liked it.
     
  6. Head Creep

    Head Creep

    Nov 6, 2004
    Los Angeles
    This is really fun... thank you, AOL, for making a stupid piece of software so entertaining.
     
  7. Head Creep

    Head Creep

    Nov 6, 2004
    Los Angeles
    Me: howdy
    SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! :-D Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.

    So, have you been naughty or nice?

    Me: oh, I've been so naughty... I think I need a spanking
    SantaClaus: Oh my! Well, there is always time left to get on my good list... ;-) ... and if you do, you will find a special free gift here for you on Dec. 22! To get in the spirit, type menu.

    Me: but why should I type menu when my loins are burning for you?
    SantaClaus: This will get you in the Christmas spirit in no time :) Type a number:

    1 - Tell Santa
    2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
    3 - Track a Shopping List
    4 - Play Xmas Hangman
    5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
    6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
    7 - Send E-Cards
    8 - Listen to Xmas Music
    9 - A Free Gift 4U!

    Me: oh, but I already am in the Christmas spirit... I wanna give you something all night long
    SantaClaus: I've got a billion children to keep track of -- so could you ask me something a bit more manageable? I'd very much appreciate it.


    Me: you saying I'm too much for you?
    SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing. :-D

    Me: you're still a virgin?
    SantaClaus: Why did you say that?

    Me: you're nervous, aren't you? Mrs. Claus won't find out
    SantaClaus: Oh dear, how should I know where?


    Me: my place or yours?
    SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!

    Me: no, why don't YOU tell me how bad you want it
    SantaClaus: The elves and I are just asking so that we can better understand what you're saying, that's all.


    Me: the elves too? you're kinky, I like it
    SantaClaus: What about elves?

    Me: I want you
    SantaClaus: I've noted it. Anything else? ;-)

    Me: I want you right now
    SantaClaus: Oh my! =-OI might be able to help out there. You can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes!

    Me: but I am telling you
    SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?

    Me: sure
    SantaClaus: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?

    Me: why don't you tell me? you were also there last night, ya know...
    SantaClaus: Why did you ask that?


    Me: what, are you saying I'm no good in bed?
    SantaClaus:
    That's a good question, Santa is no hypocrite: I've been on my best behavior, all year.
    :)



    Me: well, you aren't that good, so don't go bragging
    SantaClaus:
    I should be asking you the same thing. Ho Ho Ho!
    ;-)



    Me: hey, **** you too!
    SantaClaus: Ah, hello again. I was just checking on a few things with the elves. Have you been spreading the Christmas sprit?


    Me: don't try to change the subject again! you always do that!
    SantaClaus:
    If you think so.
    ;-)



    Me: that's it, I'm leaving you
    SantaClaus: Excuse me?


    Me: we're over
    SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.

    Me: no, I'm sick of you just wanting sex. sex sex sex, all the time
    SantaClaus:
    Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. The elves and I cannot just guess what you are saying.
    ;-)



    Me: the elves?! what do they have to do with all this?
    SantaClaus: The elves help me keep track of who's naughty and who's nice. I'm sure you are being nice!


    Me: you told your elves about us?
    SantaClaus: Love them.

    Me: I can't believe you!
    SantaClaus: As long as you believe, I'll be watching over you.


    Me: I thought you were gonna leave Mrs. Claus for me, but now you're with the elves too?!
    SantaClaus: Oh, my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note?


    Me: no!
    SantaClaus: No?


    Me: no you ****ing piece of ****, no!
    SantaClaus: Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.


    Me: go shove that coal up your ass! I'm leaving you for good!
    SantaClaus: Please. I'm taking a lot of time out from my busy schedule to chat with you here and try to spread a little Christmas cheer. I can only give you another lump of coal and then the elves will stop me from talking to you. Please, type menu; let's try to get in the Christmas spirit.


    Me: oh, now you're threatening to leave me? that is IT!
    SantaClaus: Pardon me?


    Me: goodbye you fat ****
    SantaClaus:
    Please, I despise that kind of language. I'm just asking you to have a little patience and ask me another way. I'm talking to thousands of boys and girls and their parents here at the same time. It's not so easy!
    ;-)



    Me: don't even try to call me again! I don't ever EVER want to see your face
    SantaClaus: Merry Christmas, my dear! TTYL
     
  8. wow. who'da thunk Santa was so, um, er, interesting... yeah.
     
  9. Stephen Soto

    Stephen Soto

    Oct 12, 2003
    Hey, what is the "gift" on the 22nd?
     
  10. xcental34x

    xcental34x

    Feb 28, 2003
    Memphrica, TN
    Knowing how kinky this guy is, I'd say its something sexual.
     
  11. Isabigload

    Isabigload

    Nov 28, 2004
    bwad
     
  12. Gia

    Gia

    Feb 28, 2001
    roseability
    hahahahaha hilarious :D
     
  13. I guess even Santa gets those damn AOL CDs
     
  14. Stephen Soto

    Stephen Soto

    Oct 12, 2003
    Dude, that's probably what the special gift is!
     
  15. Santa called me Black..I think he might be color blind.
     
  16. santa told me i was fat and mean. then he said that i would get along great with his wife because she is just the same way, and we have alot in common.
    then he asked if i was a Jew...

    :spit: mean old man!
     
  17. goat1234

    goat1234

    Mar 17, 2004
    Virgnia
    JohnRyanMacG123: are you a virgin?
    SantaClaus:
    Well that's hard to say. Ask an elf. ;)
    JohnRyanMacG123: are you a nazi?
    SantaClaus: Maybe. ;)