1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

And who said lightening doesn't strike twice?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by miccheck1516, Oct 5, 2004.

  1. miccheck1516

    miccheck1516 Guest

    Feb 15, 2003
    After pretty much the entire summer off talkbass (due to work) Ive managed to come back for a bit.

    Unfortunately I think I might need a bit of help. My girlfriends Dad has been Re-diagnosed with cancer. I dont know the ins and outs, but he had it before, got treatment and survived. He's been going to his check - ups and today he was told that its back. Hes going in for an operation in the next few days.
    Nobody in my family has ever had cancer, and i've never really known anyone who has had cancer. As a result I have absoutley NO idea of how to discuss it with my girlfriend. I dont want to say it'll be alright, because i really dont know if it will or not. I dont want to constantly be asking her 'Are you ok?' etc, nor do i want to act indifferant.

    I know there is no script to this sort of thing, but perhaps someone could maybe share how they feel/felt so id have a better idea of what shes going through. Unfortunately she isnt the best at putting thoughts into words....

  2. This is a very hard one to call. Everyone handles tradgedy differently. I wouldn't crowd her too much, just let her know you are there and you care. Do as much as you can for her without being in the way or demanding, she is going to be distracted with worry. What ever you do don't give her any attitude, just listen when she wants to talk, you can't make it go away for her, no matter how much you would like to. One of the most difficult things is knowing when she wants to cry and be held in your arms, or left alone to vent. Just do the best you can. This will pass, one way or another.

  3. It all depends. I suggest that you don't really go into it too much. My father has cancer as well and frankly I don't tell too many people in RL because hearing "I AM SO SORRY" over and over really isn't my bag. Support her when she looks down but don't assume every time she is sad it's because of her dad.
  4. Try to stay upbeat, and keep off the subject unless she wants to talk about it. Then just be supportive. You even might want to talk to her dad (if that's something that doesn't scare you too much) to see what he knows.

    But just think positive. They obviously caught it early, so he's got great chances. The medical profession can do wonderous things, and cancer is one of them.

    Rock on
  5. miccheck1516

    miccheck1516 Guest

    Feb 15, 2003
    thanks folks what has been said is basically how ive been playing the past few days, not bringing it up in conversation unless she does and trying to keep her mind off things. cheers guys