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Another new bass purchase - Buyer's remorse (guilt)

Discussion in 'Basses [BG]' started by Cyborg, Sep 9, 2019.

  1. Cyborg

    Cyborg Supporting Member

    Jul 7, 2007
    Lowcountry, SC
    I'm just rambling about my guilty feeling. I usually keep one bass around at a time, as I don't play out too much but I'm starting to get more active again. During 2019, I have had 6 basses come into my household, which is a lot for me during recent years.

    I have two in my possession right now, a Lakland 55-02 (nice bass but the plan is to sell it) and a recently purchased Stingray 5H Special. I've never spent so much money on a bass before but I really like the 5H, I liked it so much that I decided to buy a 4H version of the Special today. It was the right color and under 8 lbs., so I jumped on it. I go back and forth between playing 5's and 4's (this year I want to play 5's next year it might be 4's), so I figured I would buy one of each and be done with it forever.

    I already felt guilty after buying the 5H and now super guilty after ordering the 4H today. I bought new this time, so I could get the color and weight I wanted in the Rays.

    I've dropped over $4k on two basses in less than a month (which is a lot based on my past history). I can afford the basses, I don't have to borrow money to purchase them, bills won't get missed, etc. but it's not pocket change either by any means. I can't help but think I shouldn't be doing this. I'm really bad about feeling guilty about buying something nice for myself, since these are wants and not needs. Plus, if this Jazz group thing gets off the ground I will need a new amp, which I can afford and it's not necessarily an either or dilemna.

    I have several weeks to return the 5H if I want to and I will have 72 hours to initiate a return on the 4H (mom & pop shop online). Of course, I will have to pay for the return shipping, which is fair. Then I feel guilty about returning a bass to a shop and putting the hardship back on them.

    I'm not necessarily looking for justification, affirmation or a sermon but I just wanted to share. Anyone go through this type of guilt when buying nice basses?
  2. JimmyM

    JimmyM Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
    Not if I like it.
  3. PianoOfDoom

    PianoOfDoom Supporting Member

    May 30, 2011
    I bought a second P bass two weeks ago, and a Rick today. Neither were necessary. I chalk it up to summer depression.

    Then again I have no kids and the world is literally ending.
  4. Cyborg

    Cyborg Supporting Member

    Jul 7, 2007
    Lowcountry, SC
    Good attitude to have!
    I'm in a similar situation. No kids at home as they have moved out, have their own families and on their own. It's just the wife and myself. Wife is fine with whatever I buy, as long as it's a color she likes. Plus, she knows it doesn't really affect our day to day or mid-term goals. She doesn't "get it" and shakes her head sometimes and would shake her head at a $2k bass as in her mind what's the difference between that and the $200 one but she's OK with it all. She just doesn't want me get back into hoarding and flipping tons of basses all the time, which I got out of at least 10 years ago.

    Still, I'm feeling guilty about it all. Just the way I'm wired I guess.
  5. biguglyman


    Jul 27, 2017
    Rochester, NY
    Sounds like you're just putting tools in the tool box. If you have one now you don't use or need, sell it. But keep the tools you need to cover ALL your "work".
  6. J-Mags


    Jun 18, 2018
    Durham NC
    I feel that way whenever I buy a bass or guitar, and the ones I get are cheap (but I gotta lot of mouths to feed).
    EatS1stBassist, Cyborg and sludgetail like this.
  7. Cyborg

    Cyborg Supporting Member

    Jul 7, 2007
    Lowcountry, SC
    Honestly, I'm looking at it that way. There are times where I want a 4string and just don't want to play the 5 like a 4. The opposite is true as well. I was playing some new country/pop tunes and frankly I needed the low notes. Also, sometimes the 4 string songs work nicer with a 5 string fretboard.

    My thinking is I can buy a Ray35 and Ray24 and get 75-85% of what I'm looking for at a fraction of the cost butat least 1.5 more pounds per bass, which becomes an issue. Yeah, I know, same ol' story on TB.
    biguglyman likes this.
  8. Katthestar


    Aug 4, 2017
    I got a Thunderbird a few weeks ago, then a Gibson acoustic guitar and then an American Professional Jazz Bass. I feel guilty, but I always tell myself that I can sell them without a huge loss because they are American made and good quality. I did get a used Thunderbird, because the prices new are too high for my taste.
    Cyborg and scottm like this.
  9. Cyborg

    Cyborg Supporting Member

    Jul 7, 2007
    Lowcountry, SC
    Yeah, I totally get that. I didn't feel that way when I had the mouths at home. It was the wrong mindset but the family didn't go without their needs being met, bills were always paid, etc., just that the CC debt was not where it needed to be. It's probably where my guilt stems from.

    Honestly if i was really financially crunched these days, I'd buy a Ray25 or Ray5 if it was really tight and roll with it.
  10. Cyborg

    Cyborg Supporting Member

    Jul 7, 2007
    Lowcountry, SC
    Yeah, I can always sell them down the road without getting totally hosed. I'll take it on the chin some because I bought new, which is very unusual for me but I wanted basses with super low weight and certain colors. I figured if I was paying this type of money, then I'm getting exactly what I want.
  11. Yes, but it's too late now.
    Cyborg and sludgetail like this.
  12. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    If it makes you feel any better, this year I've bought (reverse cronological)-
    Paul Reed Smith Gary Grainger
    74 Telecaster
    Paisley Telecaster
    Elite Jazz
    AND a brand new BMW.
    I too can afford them, but I still feel guilt pangs.
  13. sikamikanico


    Mar 17, 2004
    My suggestion is to be honest with yourself. Brutally honest. Figure out what you WANT. Don’t think about what you need, IMO it’s easier to fool yourself with “objective needs” because they don’t exist (not on that level)...
    Cyborg and Katthestar like this.
  14. mcgreivey


    Jul 20, 2008
    Let's hear it for the end of the world. Hip-hip...

    OK. No, actually.
    organworthyplayer337 likes this.
  15. biguglyman


    Jul 27, 2017
    Rochester, NY
    As a current (pun intended) electronics technician and a former mechanic and service person I learned to NEVER cheap out on your tools. Keep the nice ones and cover 100% of what you're looking for with confidence.
  16. Cutter8

    Cutter8 Admittedly in need of adult supervision... Supporting Member

    Feb 4, 2018
    You got basses you want, and you can afford them. I’m thinking the guilt comes from a sense of responsibility and historically always putting others needs and wants ahead of your own, which is admirable. I can really relate to your situation and I won’t tell you why you shouldn’t feel guilty, because you feel what you feel, and reasoning doesn’t change that. I think you should ride out the guilt, appreciate having the means to buy the basses (and a very cool spouse), keep them both (and her too ;)), and play them so much that the $4K is the best money you ever spent! But take that with a grain of salt... I haven’t slept in a couple of days and sometimes my judgement is questionable even when I’m not sleep deprived. In any case, best of luck! :thumbsup:
  17. Nez4


    Aug 3, 2019
    I'm hoping on the asteroid
  18. Kubicki Fan

    Kubicki Fan

    Oct 3, 2014
    Wood shedding is the best antidote to guilt.
  19. Ghook

    Ghook Supporting Member

    Sep 25, 2018
    Eastern US
    I gladly helped my wife pick out her new outfit and shoes for a paid 4 day woman's retreat that guided her to better understanding relationships. I have found the best way to elieviate guilt is to support your other half's spending decisions before making any purchase decisions. According to the tracking info, my SRF700 Fretless is "Out for Delivery"
  20. Don't feel guilty. Treat yo self! Next year, next month, or even tomorrow is never guaranteed. As long as there are no serious financial or social (spousal) repercussions then there is nothing to feel guilty about.

    Society has us so programmed to think that any extra money spent on ourselves is a "waste" or "irresponsible", no matter what the circumstances are. It's your life. Enjoy it while you're here. :thumbsup:

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