Another Orchestral Story

A friend of mine, David, was playing with two other trombonists doing a concert of music which contained a trombone solo half way through. The solo was known to be fiendishly difficult and wisely my mate and the first trombone player has persuaded the third guy, John, to do it one night after he'd had a few drinks.

Unfortunately John didn't confine his drinking to his nights off and had fallen off his stool during a show only the previous week. For the big event they had tried to persuade him to play sober but he wasn't having any of it and downed four pints of beer before the concert began.

As the time approached for his moment of glory he turned to my friend and whispered that he was leaving the stage to empty his bladder before he had an accident. 'If I'm not back in time,' he muttered, 'you can do it.'

At that moment David almost had an accident himself, but like a true professional he slid John's music stand across so that he could see what he was up against. Time went by and at the last moment John re-appeared. He sat down, grinning, winked at David and said, 'Bet that gave you a fright.'

He then raised the trombone to his lips and looked down at the music, which David had randomly mixed up.

Later they told me that this was the first time this piece had ever been played to the sound of sheet music being shuffled.