Another rant (I'm sorry)

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Salamenster, Mar 7, 2014.

  1. :mad:

    So I've done a tonload of stuff trying to get together this great rockband with this guitarist I know. He was all like 'YEAH, we should totally set up this rockband, we should have tight practice schedule: practice every saturday and get some song rolling and be supermotivated!'.

    I was into that, ofcourse. I had been longing for a disciplined band for a couple of years now. Now we've got the band together, great folks, great chemistry. Now he's like "Yeah we can't practice regularly because of my work, so saturday is only an option once in 3 weeks and I like working on sundays too so that's not an option either. (The other days are given our college lifes out of the question.) So I think that we should loosen up and only practice once in a few weeks or so."

    Thing is, I've done almost EVERYTHING to get the band together in the expectation of a band with real discipline (I was sick of the joke-around bands I've alway been in) and he just blows all of it up in front of my face with reasons he could have forseen a LONG time ago.

    To make matters worse, guitarist guy is my flatmate, so I can't just make an enemy for life out of him, altough at this point, I'd really love to never have to do anything with him ever again.

    I've really been longing for a good, motivated, disciplined band for the last 5 years and all the bands I've played in/auditioned for up to now were mostly unprofessional jokes: either just friend groups practicing music once a while or just undisciplined children.

    I'm 19 now so there's that pressure as well. I have the feeling the disciplined band should have been there way earlier. I really want to make some petty cash out of it, just not to work next to college work.

    Again, sorry for the rant.
  2. Any input appreciated (flatmate + bandmate = good idea? for example).
  3. is this an original or cover type band? oh and what is a flatmate?
  4. You know, when you're in college and you rent a flat with multiple bedrooms and live in that flat with your college-student mates, then those mates are your flatmates. E.g.: In the sitcom The Big Bang Theory Sheldon and Leonard are flatmates. And so were Chandler and Joey in Friends at one point of the show (weird examples I know :ninja:).

    I'm not a native english speaker, so sorry if I use the wrong terminology.

    It's an originals band btw, we've already been working on one song together and it sounded really well.
  5. philvanv

    philvanv Gerbil Turds, Kitsap County Turd Core

    Jul 2, 2012
    and at the bottom it says thank you, and now you can shag off
    I would be straight up w him and then post an ad.......good luck
  6. Tampabass

    Tampabass Supporting Member

    Feb 16, 2006
    I know you are, but what am I?
    Doesn't sound like he's that interested in doing the work to get a band going.

    If it were me, I'd say, something like, hey, yeah, I'm up for doing some jamming, etc, whenever you feel like it. But with this band, we really need someone to commit to rehearsing with us every week so that we move forward, get better, get gigs. We'd love to have you be that guy, but if not, that's cool, too. We just need to know because we're serious about the project and can't wait around.
    Just put the ball in his court, so to speak -- Let him make the decision.
    If he's a reasonable person, he'll be cool with letting it go. If not, well, you don't have to be roommates forever.
  7. Oh okay - "roommates". But I think I like the term flatmates better, and both the Friends and Bang Theory examples were perfect). Anyway, if it was a cover band, I was going to say - with good players you really shouldn't need very many rehearsals to be gig ready. With an original band (expressly if still in the beginning writing stages) is a different story. As the others above stated - talk to him and then place an ad. I wish you the best - cheers.
  8. Lobster11

    Lobster11 Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Apr 22, 2006
    Williamsburg, VA
    Exactly. Nothing like sitting down and having a reasonable discussion between adults. And if you say it like this, there isn't any reason for him to feel angry or hurt.

    One other question, though: How does the rest of the band feel about this? I assume that they agree with you -- they are also committed and want to practice more, and feel like this guy is holding you back -- but you didn't actually say. Obviously the conversation will be different if you are speaking on behalf of everyone instead of just yourself.
  9. DeKey


    Jan 27, 2014
    ^Agree. Also if it's possible try joining another band, e.g at the moment I play in three bands: one which I'm very devoted to, another just for fun and the third to make money (it's a partyband). In that way you'll create more contacts and stuff.

    But that was just a tought and I do get that you wan't to play and make it with this band you got now
  10. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses, Hipshot products
    I think you've got 2 options.

    1. Find new people to work with.

    2. Rethink what you're doing. There is tons of work you can do alone, and with your flatmate (we have roommates in the US by the way :)). Write songs, record, do promo, practice acoustically, etc. If you can only rehearse as a band once every 3 weeks right now you can easily roll with that, and it probably won't be forever. Make those rehearsals really count.

    Should mention too that it sounds like you're blaming your roommate, when your time is just as limited as his. I may have misunderstood your first post though. If the guitarist is clearly not into it, I suggest working alone while you search for the right people.
  11. Dave W

    Dave W Supporting Member

    Mar 1, 2007
    White Plains
    You guys both seem to have different goals at this point. You want a full time band and he wants a part time band.

    Sometimes you've got to make tough decisions. I left my original band of over 6 years that I started because they just weren't motivated in actually doing anything other than having crappy rehearsals and doing the same stuff over and over and over. I wanted more than that and now I have it.

    I don't mean to pile on at all. We call the roommates in the US. Maybe it makes more sense that they have the "roommate agreement" that they reference all the time on the show.

    Apartment = Flat
    Room mate = Flat mate

    Personally I like flat & flat mate better. It just makes more sense. It's not like we call them apartment mates or something dumb.
  12. zenman


    Jan 30, 2008
    St. Paul, MN
    No need to make enemies for life. You two just have different goals & priorities. You need to accept that your vision is not his vision. You have two choices, either find a compromise with this guy, or find other people who share your vision. No need for drama.

    +1 to Joe Nerve who pretty much nailed before I piled on.
  13. Of course I'm blaming somewhat. He acted all superexcited at the start and when finally everything got together (after mostly MY hard work of searching, managing, arranging) he now all of sudden chickens out.

    It's not that he HAS to work on saturday, he can swap shifts with someone else, he can even ask not to work on saturday anymore. The thing is that now he suddenly prefers working on saturday/sunday over rehearsal, saying that it's more important than him. If I now pulled the plug he'd probably get mad at me, knowing him, because we had come so far already (the irony, it burns).

    About the other bandmembers: I've asked the other bandmembers about it. The drummer is probably going to pull the plug as well, as he wanted a steady band too and his time is also limited to the weekends. The singer is a whole different story. He's your Jim-Morisson-bipolar type of singer: He think everything is cool and doesn't really give a toss about anything other than singing some words into a mic sometimes.
  14. UPDATE: With the 'loose' system, the drummer is out.
  15. UPDATE: Just pulled the plug and quit the band. Drummer and me are possibly continuing something else just like singer and the guitarist/roommate. We were all very mature about it, altough with him (roommate) I always think that there remains a ton of underlaying negativity about these type of issues. But we'll see.
  16. Lobster11

    Lobster11 Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Apr 22, 2006
    Williamsburg, VA
    Perfect! It sounds like the guitarist/flatmate was only half the problem: If you want to put together a serious band you'll probably need to ditch Jim Morrison too. And now the drummer has done the dirty work for you and broken up the band. Now you (and the drummer, if you want to stick with him) can start looking for some folks who have the same attitude and goals as you and start a new band. And you should be able to keep the peace with your flatmate by explaining that you'd love to have him in the band, but you'll be playing on weekends when he "unfortunately" isn't available.
  17. Dave W

    Dave W Supporting Member

    Mar 1, 2007
    White Plains
    That's probably the best thing to do. Just move on and find like minded musicians with similar goals. There will always be a bit of compromise when it comes to working with other people, but you shouldn't have to compromise that much.
  18. I'd tell him what you've written here. None of what you're saying sounds unreasonable. Give him an opportunity to open up his schedule and if he can't then find another guitarist. Just remember to talk matter-of-factly and not get emotional about it.
  19. tekhedd

    tekhedd Tone chaser Supporting Member

    Feb 9, 2009
    Colorado, USA
    Owner/operator of BYTE HEAVEN
    I admit that my first reaction was "make it look like an accident". But a reasoned approach is probably better if you can manage it. :)
  20. Great! Thanks for the input! This is the reason I love this forum :)

    Although Jim Morisson was a great singer (and then I meant the guy that sang in the band, not the actual Jim Morisson, even though he was also a great singer) I've practically ditched him in the process because the guitarist kind of 'claimed' him. And they seemed very well suited to each other as well. So they've got that going for them, which is nice.