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Any new Bass Humor???

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by tmt, Jan 4, 2002.


  1. tmt

    tmt

    Nov 10, 2001
    Jakarta, Indonesia
    Uh.. I dont have a story to tell you, but I would like to hear it from all of you.
    :D :D :D
     
  2. *ToNeS*

    *ToNeS*

    Jan 12, 2001
    Sydney AU
    silence yourself, fool, for there are no stories here. only death. do you crave death, boy?
     
  3. How 'bout a joke!

    why did the chicken cross the road?

    ......
    To get to gig where he was playing BASS!!


    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *sniff*
    Oh, I think I need to lie down woooo,
     
  4. what's the difference between a double bassist and Richard Gere's hamster?

    none- they're both as stuck up.....

    *flame-proof suit on*
     
  5. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb.

    Just one. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

    Rock on
    Eric
     
  6. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker Supporting Member

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    so, three bass-players walk into a bar. one is a five string player. another is a four string player. the other bass player is tony levin

    (kicks tmt in the balls and runs as fast as possible)
     
  7. punkfunkfreak

    punkfunkfreak

    Dec 16, 2001
    WAHEY!

    er....


    what goes:
    black, white, SUNBURST!
    black, white, SUNBURST!
    black, white, SUNBURST!
    black, white, SUNBURST!
    black, white, SUNBURST!
    black, white, SUNBURST!
    ????????


    A PENGUIN WITH A JAZZ ROLLING DOWN A HILL!

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
    i thought it was funny
     
  8. Heck, you're here. That's funny all by itself.

    Rock on
    Eric
     
  9. Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other "do you know how to drive this thing?"

    Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other "holy crap, talking fish!"

    An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some sort of joke?"

    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?"

    A Rabbit walks into a bar and ask the barman for a cheese toastie. The barman hands over the cheese toastie. The rabbit eats it walks out and goes home.

    The next again day he walks into the bar and asks the barman for a ham toastie. The barman hands over the ham toastie. The rabbit eats it walks out and goes home.

    The next again day, the rabbit walks into the bar and askes for a cheese and ham toastie. The barman gives him it. He eats it and then walks out.

    That evening, the barman is locking up and notices the rabbit sitting on the cerb crying. He goes and sits down next to him.
    "whats wrong Mr rabbit?" he askes.
    "my mother always said this would be the end of me." "what would be the end of you Mr rabbit?"
    "Mixinmetoasties."
     
  10. the great one

    the great one

    Jan 25, 2001
    Phoenix, AZ
    What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common?

    Ans: They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

    I apologize in advance for this next joke.

    Why isn't it wise for a black person to marry a hispanic person?

    Ans: Because their children would be too lazy to steal.

    (It's okay, I'm mixed -hispanic/african-)
     
  11. *monty python's the meaning of life impersonation*

    I... AM... THE... GRIM REAPER!

    :p
     
  12. That's really bad.:D

    Rock on
    Eric
     

  13. *puts on homer simpson voice and says*

    it's funny 'cos it's true!!


    :)

    tom
     
  14. Two cowboys were waiting in their fort for the Indians to attack. They listened to the distant pounding war drums. One cowboy muttered to the other, "I don't like the sound of them drums."
    Just then, a distant voice came over the hill, "It's not our usual drummer!"

    What's got three legs and a c*nt?
    A drum stool.

    What's the difference between a drummer and a foot massage?
    A foot massage bucks up the feet, whereas a drummer...

    What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
    "Hey, guys - why don't we try one of my songs? ..."

    How do you get a drummer to complain?
    Get him a gig.

    There was this drummer in music class who really liked to play jokes on people, particularily the pianist. One day, after a very crude joke, the pianist got really pissed off and decided to get back at the drummer.So the next day, he came to class very early and hid one of the drummer's drum sticks. When the drummer got to class, he noticed that he only had one drum stick and started celebrating and laughing like a maniac.

    The pianist then asked, "What's so funny?" to which the drummer replied, "I've been promoted to conductor!"


    Generally speaking, how late does a band play?
    About two beats behind the drummer


    How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Just one, but the roadie has to set up the ladders, unscrew the old one and have the new in place ready for the drummer.


    Why is a violinist like a SCUD missile?
    Both are offensive and inaccurate.
     
  15. tmt

    tmt

    Nov 10, 2001
    Jakarta, Indonesia
    Hahahahahaha :D :D :D

    :rolleyes:
     
  16. tmt

    tmt

    Nov 10, 2001
    Jakarta, Indonesia
    More, more, more !!!
    :rolleyes:
     
  17. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker Supporting Member

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    do your initials stand for "teenage mutant turtle?"

    not quite a ninja yet, are you?
     
  18. tmt

    tmt

    Nov 10, 2001
    Jakarta, Indonesia
    TMT stand for :
    T for a "t"
    M for a "m"
    T for a "t"

    Simple! :D

    PS : I'm already a Ninja level in "Matrix"
     
  19. Yogi Bear

    Yogi Bear Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2000
    Q: How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A: 5 - One to do it and 4 to beat back all of the guitarists who are trying to elbow him out of the spotlight.

    OR

    A: It doesn't matter. Nobody will notice anyway.