Anybody ever just lose interest in playing?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by podiumboy, Apr 12, 2012.

  1. I became a father 6 months ago, have a fulltime career, and a busy/borderline demanding schedule of social, family or personal obligations. On the rare occasion I have free time, I find myself completely uninterested in playing bass, guitar, or any other instrument. Haven't played in a band in 2.5 years, and not having that motivator has really made me just lose interest.

    I sometimes sit down and strum my guitar for about 10 minutes, but I just get really bored and would rather do something else. I almost feel like I was never a musician at all. I don't really listen to a song and think about how it's being played anymore, I just listen to the song. My old bandmates sometimes suggest getting together to jam, but I'd rather just get together and go out for dinner, drinks, whatever.

    I think I associate playing guitar/bass with bad memories and feelings, due to the way my band slowly fell apart. That was the last time I was really an active musician, and the last year of that band was just miserable.

    Anybody else experience this, and have any advice on how to get over it? I don't really have any other hobbies or interests, I just have little/no time for hobbies or interests.
    Kri likes this.
  2. echoSE7EN


    Jul 1, 2010
    Balto., MD
    Sounds as if you have enough on your plate as it is. Enjoy being a father for a while. I was in the same boat, and have just recently gotten back into playing with a drive, and my son is almost 2. Now that he is interested in his own independence, it frees up some time for me to jump around the bedroom again. He dances along sometimes, but most of the time he just sits next to me playing with his Legos.
  3. Sonic

    Sonic Lord of the Grump

    Can't say I know anything about having kids but I can empathize with the whole band falling apart thing. It took me two years after my previous band ended to find the drive to play music again. I pretty much quit altogether for about 6 months and spent a year and a half just trying to find my groove again. Don't force it man, if it's meant to happen it will. If it's not, you've got something to hand down to kiddo when he's old enough.
  4. michael_atw


    Feb 28, 2009
    Jamestown, NY
    I lose interest when my playing revolves around practice. But when I'm with a band or group, it's a different juice.
  5. gweimer


    Apr 6, 2000
    Columbus, OH
    After nearly 40 years, I am giving up playing. I've had a wonderful run, some great memories, and some tough times. My heart isn't in it any more. Time to move on to better things and higher priorities.
  6. jeff62217


    Feb 16, 2012
    San Lorenzo, CA

    First off, as a new father with a 7 month old myself, let me say congratulations!:D It's a wonderful thing isn't it?

    As far as playing bass/guitar/any other instrument, if it doesn't give you satisfaction or enjoyment, let it go... find something else that does. Perhaps you've associated playing music as something negative like you said... in which case maybe take a break and see if the interest or desire comes back to you.

    For me, personally, playing bass is 'me' time, away from my wife, son, and the rest of the world. It's just me, my bass, and whatever groove I'm getting into... and that is all that matters to me at the time--- until the baby starts crying. :eyebrow: For me, it's a breath of fresh air.

    I know finding new hobbies and such isn't always easy when time is short... but I wouldn't try to force a square peg into a round hole.
  7. Marley's Ghost

    Marley's Ghost Supporting Member

    Feb 9, 2002
    Tampa, FL
    I lost interest in 1981, and stopped playing bass for over 20 years. Now I am more into it than I ever was.
  8. scottfeldstein

    scottfeldstein Roots and fifths and a little extra.

    Jun 20, 2011
    West Bend, Wisconsin
    I stopped playing music for about ten years. Didn't pick it up again until last summer. My kids are now 18 and 21.

    In a way I wish I had never taken that time off. I'd be really good now instead of struggling to shake off a decade of rust. But at the same time, I really did have things to do. In addition to raising my kids, I got a master's, a black belt, a house, a divorce. I started a photography business (which I am now abandoning in favor of music).

    Not everyone leaves music. Not all who do end up coming back. Leaving did seem right for me at that time. And coming back seems right for me now.
  9. jumbodbassman


    Dec 28, 2009
    Stuck in traffic -NY & CT
    Born Again Tubey
    I stopped playing in bands for about 2 years when my first 2 kids were born but never stopped playing, with myself anyway, no pun intended... Realized i REALLY missed it and have been in at least 2 bands at all times for last 18 years.
  10. My last band broke up about 20 months ago, during a really rough time in my life and I basically gave up playing bass at all. I was just miserable when I played, no imagination, no enjoyment and like you I got bored quickly. I recently started feeling the itch again, to play with other people, to make music again, to write my own songs. Sometimes we just need space and time to realize what makes us tick and what makes us who we are. Being a bassist is part of who I am and I couldn't let it go forever but the 18 months I spent basically being a non-musician were important, in a way, because they made me realize how little I enjoy life when I'm not playing. Sadly, I'm not a father yet so I don't have much else to fall back on to fulfill my existence beyond friends and family. Keep your head up bro, you may find music becoming a force in your life again. And if it doesn't, hey, you had some good times, right?
  11. Tom_RCJ


    Jan 4, 2010
    Cardinal, Ontario, Canada
    Band is sponsored by Trinity Amps and Sennheiser.
    Been there too. It got to a point where I suddenly realized I hadn't touched my guitar at all for almost 3 months. I tried playing a bit here and there but I actually hated playing. Pretty much the same as what others are saying here; bad memories, bored to death of it, gave it my best shot and was very dissatisfied with what I accomplished.

    A few months after that everything conspired to suck me back in. I didn't want it, but the more I resisted, the harder I got pulled in. After a while I sorta had one of those moments where you look up and say: "Oh, now that gave up, I'm getting all these opportunities, eh? I see how it is. Real funny -expletive-."

    Anyway, I followed along but was bitter for the longest time. Changed instruments, changed musical preferences, changed province (that's what we call states in Canada). Took a while to get over that bitterness. I still don't understand most of it, but I'm here right now and having fun again.

    So I guess the moral of my story is... actually, I have no idea what the moral is. Or even if there is one. Life's weird man. Just do what you love and love what you do. "Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. Here's the theme music. Goodnight."
  12. I find whenever I'm not in a band, I have no interest in playing on my own. I need a motivator or goal to be working towards, otherwise I have no interest in "jamming" to CDs with my bass.
  13. MonetBass

    MonetBass ♪ Just listen ♫ Supporting Member

    Sep 15, 2006
    Family comes first. There's a lot of guys on here who have been where you are, as have I. Once the kid(s) get older, you'll get some more time and find yourself playing more and more.

    Do you play certain songs all the time when you do play? Try to change it up next time. Learn a new song, solo over some different changes... just stretch yourself a little. That makes playing more interesting, to me at least.
  14. This is a good point. Right now my wife and I are blessed with a six month old. Between work, family time, church stuff, etc, I'm lucky if I get about 45 minutes to practice on my own each week. I am fortunate my wife is accommodating and I can go to band practice for 3-4 hours on Saturdays.

    I'm sure once our son is a bit older, it will get slightly easier.


    Apr 16, 2010
    Passions come and go.
    Your family and work are your priorities and you know that.
    Later on down the road you will probably have more time and a new interest in playing.
    The guitar and amp can sit for years and fire right back up.
    I have never gotten much out of forcing myself to do something my heart was not in.

    I am retired now but never felt I worked for a living for 40 years. I was blessed with a never boring career.

    Being in a band with responsibilities to "The Group" is a lot different than hobby'n your playing in a room in the house.

    Something will spark your interest in picking it back up some day. Don't worry about it.

    Maybe your new addition to the home will have an ear for music and both of you can play together in the future.
  16. imustscream


    Feb 21, 2012
    It seems like a normal thing to get burned out on playing. It can happen with anything. I was burned out for and quit doing anything musical a few years ago and only focused on mma. But music chooses you, not the other way around. Sometimes you just need a new muse. If you keep plugging away at the same genre playing with the same people no **** you'll get burned out on a long enough timeline. I started getting into electronica, did some shows with this suicide girl-rapper and a dj. Got into acoustic singer song writer and did a cover band too for a while. Now I'm doing death metal and am so challanged by it and so energized I have never had more passion. Even got back into art doing murals and abstracts. My point is sometimes a radical change in gears can shake the rust of apathy off and open the flood of creativity.
  17. dustinfennessey


    Sep 29, 2011
    Everytime I thought I was losing interest in playing it just meant I had lost interest in playing with that group of people. A change in genres/groups can do a lot get ya excited again :)
  18. Megazap63


    Apr 12, 2009
    London, UK
    Congratulations on becoming a dad, hope you're enjoying the experience and managing to get some sleep!

    Agree that leaving a band under unpleasant circumstances can dampen your enthusiasm - I recently went through this - however you'll get over it.

    Also sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment, so maybe a break will be good for you.

    Its also a very nice feeling to see your kids bopping along when you're playing, and an even nicer one to see them inspired by your musical activites and getting into learning music themselves.

    Enjoy the temporary break from music/bands and don't feel strange about it - there are lots of other worthwhile and important things in life to also pursue.

    Cheers, Chris :)
  19. smeet

    smeet Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 27, 2006
    Woodland Hills, CA
    I stopped playing with other people for a few years and concentrated on composing and recording on my own at home. This was when I was a new father, and it allowed me to be more flexible since I didn't have to match anybody else's schedule. Also i was tired of dealing with irresposible musicians.

    Now I'm playing with people again. Also, I've really come to love practicing and improving on my own, as a completely separate thing from playing with a band.

    It happens, everything changes. If you are still drawn to music, concentrate on something different. May learn some theory, or take singing lessons, or write a fugue! Or, take a break from music. If its in your blood, you'll be back.
  20. I played for years and years as a youngster and young adult. Not the best scene. Marriage and a spiritual change of direction led me to not playing for like 12 years or so, and I rarely ever missed it at all. I felt the nudge and have now been playing in church 3 x a week year 'round for about 4 years or so, and some before that as well. It's the most fun and rewarding playing I've ever done, and best musicianship I've ever achieved. As someone said in a previous post, passions come and go. No sweat, bro.