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Anybody here ever played a "Clothing Optional Gig"?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Tx Basser, Jan 25, 2013.

  1. Tx Basser

    Tx Basser

    Jul 21, 2012
    Let's keep this clean fellow bass addicts!

    Here is the deal: Here in the Dallas/Fort Worth Texas area, there is a "Clothing Optional" resort that books a band for selected holidays. The upcoming Memorial Day Weekend is one such occasion. The gig pays pretty good and the band doesn't have to go "au natural" as the crowd will be. I am certain that the gig pays well due to the fact that not many bands will play the gig.

    Let's hear your words of wisdom and experience. Would you play the gig or not?
  2. john m

    john m Supporting Member

    Jan 15, 2006
    But close my eyes like I'm getting into the music if I didn't like the view.
  3. dalkowski

    dalkowski Supporting Member

    May 20, 2009
    Massachusetts USofA
    Never done such a gig, but I can't imagine any reason not to (other than the reasons one would turn down any other gig.)

    Be warned, though: Don't go expecting to see a bevy of sculpted supermodel bodies or non-stop public rutting. Naturists (as such folk are sometimes known) are reg'lar peeps like us who prefer going around in the buff when they can.

    At any rate, be sure you wear your bass at a, shall we say, discrete height, just in case.
  4. qervo


    May 18, 2011
    I played a bar where the top floor was clothing optional. I'm glad I did it because of the experience but like our fellow TB'er said above,, don't expect gorgeous women. Most were average at best and trying to have a drink at the bar while sitting next to a naked old dude is not easy .
    On the other side of the coin, I once played a Christmas party for the Gold Club stripper lounge. Now that was fun.
  5. Tx Basser

    Tx Basser

    Jul 21, 2012
    :D Ha! One of my local musician friends has played this gig before and he told me the same thing! He said it is more of an "older heavy-set biker dudes and their ladies" crowd who only wear flip-flops and do-rags.

    He also told me that no cameras are allowed (even cell phones must be checked at the gate) and to bring dark, really, really dark, sunglasses. :p
  6. Big Brother

    Big Brother

    Feb 13, 2011
    San Diego
    Roving sub-demon
    You won't have to worry about buckle rash. :hyper:
  7. qervo


    May 18, 2011
    I have played a gig but naked before . That's what 150 grain alcohol will do to ya. But I wasn't alone, the whole band joined in.
  8. Good point. I normally wear my bass high. I think I'd have to let out the strap for that gig.

    No buckle rash on the bass, but what about a rash on your own body.

    LOL. Now, I don't know whether it would be better to wear the bass high or low.
  9. Man up and go strapless! :hyper:

  10. Basshappi


    Feb 12, 2007
    Not exactly but back in the day I played a birthday party gig for the wife of a strip club owner. It was held at the club after closing. Clothing became optional pretty quickly after things gotta rolling. :D

    I remember we were loading out as the sun was coming up.
  11. Bert Slide

    Bert Slide

    May 16, 2012
    Louisville KY
    Great chance to live out your Flea fantasies! Nothin' but a tube sock!
  12. Texan

    Texan 667 Neighbor of the Beast.

    Aug 15, 2004
    Houston, TX
    I played an Adult Entertainment industry awards show several years ago...It was the opposite of your potential crowd...they all looked good and were very naughty. :)
  13. JakeF


    Apr 3, 2012
    Make sure the guitar player uses a plate over his tremolo springs.

    Or knows how to shave.

    Never mind.

    I didn't like my last guitar player.
  14. Lived in Florida for a long time and played a whole lot of those gigs. Every Sunday afternoon one summer by the pools. Those were fine, actually not a big deal and very family oriented. The night-time parties and holiday gigs, like Halloween and New Year were a whole different story. Most were XXX rated events, 21 only. Fortunately, I was single and had a blast. Those places paid very well.
  15. rtav

    rtav Millionaire Stuntman, Half-Jackalope

    Dec 12, 2008
    Chicago, IL
    If you get nervous you can always imagine them in their underwear. It works if you get nauseated as well :)
  16. LOL! Not a chance! I understand what you're getting at, but I'm not addressing it directly.

    I can not imagine "straplessly" holding up my Warwick Thumb BO 6 or Conklin GTBD-7. If that was a case, I'd probably have a much different career. I'm not even sure success would be found with my Ashbory or Kala U-Bass SUB Solidbody. My novelty ukelele perhaps. LOL!
  17. Ah, Canada in winter. Seinfeld did an episode on this subject...

  18. Dash Rantic

    Dash Rantic

    Nov 12, 2005
    Palo Alto, CA
  19. qervo


    May 18, 2011
    ^^ omg! That's funny . Who comes up with this stuff?
  20. I hadn't even considered the cold weather. I had pictured the event in question taking place indoors.
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

    Mar 8, 2021

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