Anyone Deal with Asperger's Syndrome?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by randysmojo, Apr 28, 2012.


  1. randysmojo

    randysmojo

    Jan 14, 2008
    Temple, TX
    Does or has anyone here had to deal with Asperger's Syndrome either themselves, or with someone in their family? I have always had issues dealing with things in life and always felt out of place. I have been going through a series of interviews basically to determine if I have Asperger's or I am in the Autism spectrum anywhere, and from what the doctor has asked and told me, it makes basically my whole life make sense. I won't know the actual diagnoses until sometime next week, when he finishes his report. I imagine it would change how I deal with life and everything if I actually know and have something to work with.
     
  2. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya

    Jan 13, 2008
    My next door neighbors have a kid who's slightly older than me who suffers from it quite badly. He'll never be able to live without some form of outside help, but he does manage to get along in school and he's even a FANTASTIC violin and chello player.

    Actually, I remember a time he got locked out of his house and somehow managed to hurt himself. I was sitting in my living room and suddenly the door leading out to my garage flew open (we always leave our garage door up when someone's home) and he came running in and started getting into our kitchen cabinets to try and find band-aids. I was around 13 at the time and it really freaked me out, but it also was a real eye opener as to how different he was because of this syndrome.

    My best friend's older brother, likewise, suffers from a very mild case of it, and you'd almost never be able to really tell unless you've spent ample amounts of time around him to catch up on his quirks. He's able to hold down a job and get along well with people, but he's still at home with he's parents despite him being around 27 or 28 years old. I'm not sure what will ultimately become of him, but it is interested to see just how different it can be for individuals who just land on different parts of the spectrum.
     
  3. Hobobob

    Hobobob Don't feed the troll, folks.

    Jan 25, 2011
    Camarillo, CA
    I've known a lot of folks with Autism-spectrum disorders. I used to play with a guitarist who has asperger's - freakin musical genius. This dude could play things on his instrument that I have never seen before or since, and he could write entire progressive/djent/ambient/whatever metal suites at the drop of a hat. A truly inspiring fellow. He was a little socially awkward (don't ever get him talking about bands he likes, he'll never stop!) but he was a kind, generous soul whose company I enjoyed immensely. He moved half a country away a few years ago, and I still keep in touch and even lay down bass tracks for him via email once in a while.
     
  4. Angus

    Angus Supporting Member

    Apr 16, 2000
    Palo Alto, CA
    Let's be clear- knowledge of some diagnosis is not going to change anything. Besides, if you clearly had something, he'd be able to tell you pretty quickly. Realistically, the fact that you sought out that kind of help means you probably are not "on the spectrum" (which is thrown around way too much).

    Dealing with whatever behaviors you aren't happy with has nothing to do with any diagnosis, and will be an entirely different battle altogether.
     
  5. randysmojo

    randysmojo

    Jan 14, 2008
    Temple, TX
    Angus, I don't know what your qualifications are so I can't speak to that, but even if he could tell what's going on he still has to go through the proper steps for it to be a true diagnosis and I looked into it because I have had issues my whole life and saw a special report about Asperger's. I recognized a lot of what they where talking about in myself, so I did research online and decided to take the next step and get a true diagnoses to find out if that is what is going on with me or not. Knowing will help me find out what I can do for help, be it talking with a therapist or whatever can help to make my quality of life better. A post like yours seems very negative and I don't really see a reason for it besides being mean.
     
  6. Angus

    Angus Supporting Member

    Apr 16, 2000
    Palo Alto, CA
    It's not mean at all- there really is nothing negative meant in it. I'm telling you you are better off than you think.

    My point is that the very fact that you sought out help means you probably don't have Asperger's, let alone autism. Reports about medical issues like that very often paint such broad strokes that you can see a lot of those traits in yourself. They aren't medically rigorous, because the people doing the reports are not scientists. People with true Aspergers (again, let alone autism) have very specific behaviors, make you as a person interacting with them feel a very specific way, and pretty much any medical professional would be able to spot it quickly. They'll do the "spectrum" analysis and all that, but really, if you had it in a serious way, they'd know quickly.

    My point is- why is getting that specific diagnosis important? It sounds as though you want to have it, as though that would pave the way to some relief of behaviors you don't like. In reality, it won't. You'll still have to do the same amount of work whatever the doctor says, with the same help from a qualified professional (like a clinical psychologist, etc). I'm telling you the diagnosis itself isn't nearly as important, so whether he says yes or no, you're going to have to do the same kind of work. Rather than focusing on whether or not there is pathology, your energy is probably better spent dealing with finding ways to manage whatever behavior it is you aren't happy with.

    I'm not being mean or negative!
     
  7. randysmojo

    randysmojo

    Jan 14, 2008
    Temple, TX
    Knowing what the issue is will help to seek the right help, and I do behave differently than most, and have always had issue in jobs etc, so saying that I am looking for help means I probably don't have it just doesn't make since to me.
     
  8. Angus

    Angus Supporting Member

    Apr 16, 2000
    Palo Alto, CA
    Generally speaking, adults who think they have Asperger's don't have it- there is a huge predilection toward self-diagnosis. Those who really do generally don't notice, especially with increasing severity. Hence my statement. If it's diagnosed, it's usually because the parents see it in their child.

    Either way, knowing if there is a pathological diagnosis is not the same as "knowing what the issue is", since technically you already do know the issue (the behaviors). Either way would result in the same treatment with the same professional given that you are an adult, so whether the doctor says "yes" or "no", you'd go to see the same person. The analysis of your behaviors would really be in better suited to the psychologist anyway, since that really extends beyond a medical doctor's care.
     
  9. I have it.

    I'm going to have to agree with Angus, however. Being diagnosed meant nothing to me except that I could put a name to what I had. People pay way too much attention to labels and such. See a therapist and deal with whatever issues you are having. Don't fixate on what you can get a doctor to diagnose you with.
     
  10. blastoff99

    blastoff99 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Dec 17, 2011
    SW WA, USA
    This.
     
  11. Not Asperger's necessarily, but I do fall on the "loner, low-energy" category for sure. Every time I go out I am amazed just how busy and rushed people seem to be, and I wonder how come a lot of them are talking and texting all the time. All I have to talk to on the cell phone are my family, bandmates, and telemarketers. Seriously. :D

    The most visible change in my behavior and attitudes is in how I approach others to socialize. I still avoid parties (and will avoid them as much as I can until I die) and "meet and greet" kind of events, but I am learning how to talk to people to obtain specific reactions (I still avoid extensive small talk and will avoid it as much as I can) from them.
     
  12. That's actually got to do with the bad economic times, not with Asperger's.
     
  13. randysmojo

    randysmojo

    Jan 14, 2008
    Temple, TX
    I know some therapist specialize in Asperger's/Autism and others might specialize in other areas, and knowing what is up will be helpful, and if that's not what's going on with me, then I want to know. I have had problems keeping jobs my whole life and have not fit in social and don't have many friends. I'm almost 37 years old and just really want to know for myself and my sanity for starters. I am at the brink of a major breakdown, and if I can deal with it somehow, that's what I want and diagnosing it seems like a good way to start so I know my path. People my not understand that or think it not necessary, but those people don't live in my world which can seem quite Hellish at times!
     
  14. i've had issues mixture of a few things, but being diagnosed means they can chose what pills to put you on. Theres other mental excercises you can do...

    All that stuff

    but

    i have learned one thing over the years and that is, its you who is going to look after yourself, no one else. Popping SSRIs is good to get you out of trouble but its not a way of life in my opinion.

    Keep researching, learn skills to keep yourself managed correctly, remember its all inside your head so use your good part of your mind to counter the bad part. Life is short and your a long time staring at the lid. Hang in there and adapt to your situation then go forth and enjoy life
     
  15. Kitsapbass

    Kitsapbass What key is this?

    May 26, 2005
    Bremerton, WA
    One of my sons has Aspergers. When he's focused on one of his interests he's incredibly focused. Other than that, he just likes to play with his friends and go on youtube to check out more of his latest obsession...
     
  16. randysmojo

    randysmojo

    Jan 14, 2008
    Temple, TX
    Thanks, Icey101. My brain is just so jumbled, I guess I'm hoping to find the right person to help me learn coping skills. I know the internet will be a great resource too. I had doctors just tell me I had ADHD and try to feed me pills that just didn't work.
     
  17. randysmojo

    randysmojo

    Jan 14, 2008
    Temple, TX
    Lucky for me, my main obsession is bass guitar!
     
  18. Angus

    Angus Supporting Member

    Apr 16, 2000
    Palo Alto, CA
    Everything you've said so far really does not point with any specificity toward Asperger's. Same with carlthegroover's description of himself.

    As was said, you pick the psychologist/therapist based on your behaviors, not what you think you might have. If they specialize in people with Asperger's, it usually means kids, not nearing-middle age adults.

    This is a good example where the internet and news segments aren't really a good resource, because it hasn't help you sort pertinent information from unrelated.
     
  19. 1958Bassman

    1958Bassman

    Oct 20, 2007
    No, but knowing gives someone a place to start WRT deciding what to do/not do about it. For someone to not have to wonder why they're the way they are makes a difference- they can stop thinking "I'm just weird", "I'm defective", "I'm broken", etc.

    Someone can definitely be within the range of the spectrum and look for answers. High-functioning Asperger's people are often extremely analytical, may have extreme levels of certain talents and can be outstanding when it comes to detail-oriented tasks. OTOH, some habits can be awfully annoying. In my case, I have a tendency to correct people when they say something that's wrong. Some of us aren't always tactful and we often suck at non-verbal communication. It's a lot like not having "a little voice in our heads" to tell us to STFU when that would be best.
     
  20. Angus

    Angus Supporting Member

    Apr 16, 2000
    Palo Alto, CA
    He knows his behaviors, and he knows he wants to do something about it. So when the doctor inevitably comes back and gives him an answer, he should do the exact same thing- seek someone out who can help him work through strategies to manage the behavior he wants to change. His description does not sound Aspergers, to be fair, so we shouldn't assume.

    Everyone wants that thing to explain behaviors they don't like- "oh, it's just because I have X that I'm 'weird/defective/broken'", as you put it. 99% of the time, it's not because you have a medical pathology- it's just that from some combination of life experiences and natural tendencies, you are prone to do something you don't like, so now you have to put in the time to fix it. For some people it's genuinely biological, and for other it's a mix. The end result is the same work, so I'm saying he won't gain much for waiting (and in this case, it appears to be yearning) for a particular label. It won't fix the problem, and the work will still be the same.
     
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    Primary TB Assistant

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