Anyone in a long distance relationship?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by hitman9696, Sep 24, 2003.

  1. Sorry for sharing my problem with you people, but I suppose maybe someone here is in the same sad situation as I am.

    I live in Montreal. 22 years old. I go to university, and still have 2 years to go. I met a girl this summer that turned my world upside down. I literally fell for this girl. Basically, I love her. And she loves me. However, here is where it turns sour. She lives in Toronto. So that’s it. We always talk and chat on MSN, but it is obviously not the same. It hurts so much not to have her around, and the last thing I want to do is to hurt her. She keeps telling me that, yes it is hard, but she loves me anyway. But, I don’t know. I’ve never been in this situation before. I don’t know if it is going to work out. I’m ready to wait for ever, but I’m realistic. She is a very beautiful and smart girl. They don’t come around very often. We definitely are a match. But can the separation last? How long do we have to wait? Is one of us actually going to move to the other’s hometown? I just ask these question everyday, but I’m powerless.

    So I was wondering if anyone here has gone through what I’m going.

    Thanks for your patience.
  2. About the same story for me except me girl lives in Lincoln Nebraska and I live in Sioux Falls. That is about a 4 hour drive. I fell fer her bad

    We ended up breaking up. Once I'm done with college I think I'll move down there. Long distance relationships don't work. Ours only lasted 3 months. I would sugggest trying not to drag it out if it's not working and consider trying to start up again later.

    Depressing suggestions but that's what I did and I'm a lot happier. We still talk on the phone and when I can I go down and see her.
  3. mikemulcahy


    Jun 13, 2000
    The Abyss
    Long distance relationships are very tough. I am in one now. My story is that I moved to south Florida for a change of scenery. My wife and son were to follow after the end of the school year. Half way there, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Choice was, move here and be treated or stay there and get treated at Duke University. Healthwise I would rather she be treated at Duke, the family side wanted her here. For the long term good, we decided to she stay there and get treated by world class docs and life a full life.

    So yeah, I know about these kinds of relationships. The answer, if it was meant to be, it will last, if not, smile at the memories.

    Good luck

  4. good advice.

    over the summer i got really close to this girl two years younger than me (shes in 10th grade) but we realized we had better stop before we got too involved because i am going off to college next year and she is plannin on going to the governors school for music (trumpet player) so we decided it would be much better to wait until itll be easier for us to work something out, which will probably be when she gets to college because we are both going to the same school. :)

    good luck man
  5. My girlfriend of five years (lived together at school for 2) just moved to england for two years last sunday to work. it's really tough being apart after seeing each other pretty much every day for two years. no plans to break up though. i'm already planning a flight there for reading week.

    one piece of advice: do NOT break up just because of the distance. i think that's the stupidest thing you can do. try it. if it doesn't work out, at least you'll know when it's time to end it. if you break up before you separate just because you're separating, you'll always wonder if it could have worked. don't end it just because it 'might' be difficult. end it when it is TOO difficult.
  6. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I've had three long-distance relationships in my life. In high school I dated a girl for 2 years who lived 2 hours away. It eventually didn't work out because it just moved too slow I think.

    Then when I was a senior in college I had a relationship of about 8 months with a girl who attended University of Kentucky while I was going to Texas A&M. We got together a couple of times but it was very expensive and ultimately she wasn't as committed and ended it.

    The last one was a girl that I'd been dating locally for 3 months. We really hit it off but before I'd met her I'd already made a committment to go teach college in China for a year. Soooo...we had a very tough year but we were both committed to the relationship and we ended up getting married this past June.

    What I found in all these experiences is that, just like any relationship, a long distance relationship requires both people to be equally committed and willing to work extra hard on the relationship. It can work but if you really want it to go somewhere one of you has to be willing to move ultimately as well. Also, if you can't afford to make the trips out of pocket to see each other then be prepared to rack up some credit in plane tickets. Yeah, is evil and blah blah. It's worth it if you really love each other.

    brad cook
  7. fastplant


    Sep 26, 2002
    My long distance relationship turned into marriage a year ago. She was living in Mass. and I in CT. This was for about 6 months, we then moved in together and eventually got married. Just goes to show that they can and do work out. Good luck to you.
  8. Gia


    Feb 28, 2001
    in my experience long distance relationships end in a heap of flames

    actually, let me rephrase, relationships with
    -insane- people end in a heap of flames.....:meh:

  9. Yup. Thats about all that could be said.
  10. I'm going to go through the same thing in a year or two... suckage.
  11. Last year during my fresh year in college I had a gf at home. Everything was fine until this year when she also went to my school. We broke up last night, 3 days before our 1 year annyversery (sp???)

    So yea, long dist is good, short not so good, lol.

    Somehow Im already over it, guess alcohol and pot will help? :meh:
  12. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Save every nickle and travel to see her on holiday, and those visits may determine if the relationship has a future.

    The effort you put into it, y'know.

    Don't forget to keep studying.
  13. Thanks everyone for your support. It really helps to read your comments and your own personal experiences.

    I am going to try my best to keep the relationship alive... As mentioned, if it was meant to be, then we'll find a way. It really happened out of the blue, and we are really into each other. I'm starting to believe that everything in life happens for a reason. You just got to go with the flow I guess.

    I'm going to see her the last weekend of November. Some friends of mine have organized a road trip to Toronto that exact weekend, and guess what? It's also her birthday. I don't know, coincidence? Plus, it fits in perfectly with my school schedule.

    Therefore, P. Aaron, I’ll follow your advice. Once I get to be with her in November, we’ll talk and decide where we’ll go from there on. And, yeah, I’m having a hard time concentrating on my studies. I’m an A student, but it’s getting hard. However, I’m starting to get back on track again.

    Thanks again everyone, and please continue to share your feelings on this matter.