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Anyone know any good musician jokes?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Janas, Dec 12, 2002.


  1. Janas

    Janas

    Nov 25, 2002
    England
    I only know a couple;

    BASSIST JOKE
    What does a bassist use as a contraceptive?

    His personality:confused:



    DRUMMER JOKES
    What do you call someone who always hangs around with musicians?

    A drummer:p

    How do you know if your stage is level?

    The drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth :D
     
  2. Q - How do you know if your singer's at the door?
    A - He knocks out of time and comes in when he's not supposed to.
     
  3. yoshi

    yoshi

    Jul 12, 2002
    England, London
  4. This is a joke I saw off yoshi's Iron Maiden website and I thought it deserved to be seen:

    From Stuart Lovell
    80,000 drummers meet in London for a "Drummers Are Not Stupid Convention".
    The compere says "We are all here today to prove to the world that drummers are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?".
    One drummer steps up, the compere says to him "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds he says "Eighteen."
    Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 drummers start cheering "Give him another chance, give him another chance."
    The compere says "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press is present, I guess we can give Nicko another chance." So he says "What is 5 plus 5?".
    After nearly 30 seconds Nicko eventually says "Ninety?"
    The compere sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the drummer starts crying and 80,000 other drummers start yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance".
    The compere, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says "Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?"
    Nicko closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four".
    Around the stadium 80,000 drummers start yelling, "Give him another chance, give him another chance!"

    Great joke....:D

    -Insighted
     
  5. Bassmanbob

    Bassmanbob Supporting Member

    Here's one you may or may not like: It might hit home:

    This guy is being guided in the jungle by natives. He can hear what sounds like other natives drumming in the distance. As they continue to walk he gets more and more concerned as the ominous drumming gets louder. But each time he asks the natives they say, "Don't worry. Everything is OK as long as they keep playing."

    They continue walking and it's getting louder and louder. Suddenly the drumming stops, the natives turn around and fearfully start running the other way. The scared and confused man quickly asks, "What's wrong?" And as the natives run by him in absolute fear, they yell, "Bass solo!!!"

    That's one my keyboard brother-in -law told me. The other one I know is the one that Jaco and his father always said (I didn't know him, I just read it), "You know what they say on a sinking ship? Women and rythmn section first!"