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Are Friends who dont call you worth keeping?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by MAJOR METAL, Jun 2, 2005.


    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Supporting Member

    I have several friends that years could go by and i wouldent hear from them unless i take the initiative and call them and make the effort to keep in touch with them, when we are together we have a great time and really enjoy each others friendship and connection. If it were you would you just except this lack of communication on their part or would you just part ways with your friendship since all the work to maintain it is on your part?.
  2. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    I'd part ways. I have done so in the past. When I make a few efforts to stay in touch with someone, and if it is not returned, I move on.

  3. Everybody's life changes. I've got a family now and that takes precedence over hanging out with friends. I try to keep up with everybody, but it is hard, and it makes seeing some people more special.
  4. It happens. Friends often come and go. I think if you are not keeping in touch, it doesn't mean you are no longer friends, but it does take work to maintain relationships with people.

    The ones who are your true lifetime friends will always make an effort to keep in touch IMHO
  5. ::::BASSIST::::

    ::::BASSIST:::: Progress Not Perfection.

    Sep 2, 2004
    Vancouver, BC Canada
    +1 although i just had a friend come over from seattle who i hadnt seen in 5 years.
  6. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    IMO, there's a "threshold" in that regard. No matter how much you "want" to be someone's friend, if they can't see their way clear to corresponding once in a while, the friendship ain't really happenin'. I agree, move on. There's plenty of people out there who "do" want to be your friend. That isn't saying one should "reject" an old friend, if he/she makes an overture. But, one can only beat one's head against a brick wall for "so long".
  7. eric234

    eric234 Guest

    Mar 11, 2005
    well you might or might not know but i just moved from kansas city to philadelphia last summer and my freind from kc i'd had since i was four doesn't call unless i do it kinda sucks but i'm making freinds here i just go see him when ever i go back to kc to see my family
  8. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    The minute I write 'em off, they call. I have a few "friends" that are like this.
  9. Brendan

    Brendan Supporting Member

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Yeah. I was in the same place. They'd always be up for hanging out, we'd always have a good time, they'd say I should come over more, or something, but unless I called them, nothing went down. So, y'know, what's the point?

    I moved on, found other people, ones that the friendship went both ways, and had more fun with them, since they were actually calling me to hang out. That's how you know who your friends are, in my book.
  10. canopener


    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    I've been on both ends of this situation, but only in the junior high/high school years.

    However, my fiancee has always been the person that waits on someone to call her for things, whether it be hanging out or for a "friend" moment. Now that she's moved away from her friends of her high school/college years, she wonders why nobody calls her to keep up with things. Not to de-rail the thread, but now she's going through some major medical treatment (for a 25 year old) and is almost heartbroken that none of her old friends are calling to lend their support.
  11. burk48237

    burk48237 Supporting Member

    Nov 22, 2004
    Oak Park, MI
    Hey, Didn't I call you last week?
  12. Ill be your friend Major..........
  13. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    For the length of time you're not communicating with them, you are not calling either.
  14. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Why don't you ever call me anymore Munji? :bawl:
  15. jade


    Mar 8, 2002
    All my friends are like that. I've had to call people to make plans. It's alright with me. Sometimes it's late minute but we do have a lot of fun when we are together. I ditch the ones that are always "busy" whenever I try to plan something.

    Then again, I'm a teenager. What do I know?
  16. Only


    Sep 8, 2002
    Warrensburg, MO
    Man. Almost all of you guys would ditch me as a buddy. :bawl:
  17. xshawnxearthx


    Aug 23, 2004
    new jersey
    i have been friends with this dude for like 8-9 years now. sometimes we go months without talking/hanging out. it all depends on our own lives.

    me, if someone doesnt call me or try to make an effort, i dont bother with them. its all good. im as pretty easy going guy, i have plenty of friends, and if it ever comes to a point where i have no one, i will always have my bass(and my girlfriend).
  18. DaveDeVille

    DaveDeVille ... you talkin' to me ??

    friendships aren't always easy to maintain .
    it takes two to tango , ya know ?

    i actually like to hear from friends i haven't seen in a long time .

    two months ago , i got a phone call from a friend i haven't heard from
    in over 18 years ... found out he's married and has a young son .
    now we try to e-mail each other at least monthly .

    hopefully no bridges are burned between myself and friends i haven't talked to in a long time ...
  19. Juneau


    Jul 15, 2004
    Dallas, TX.
    I wonder about this a lot too. I have several friends that I never heard from unless I initiate it. What really bothers me about that is these friends are often hard to find and get in touch with, whereas I have a listed number that hasnt changed in 6 years.

    I also have friends that simply dont return phone calls, or things like that. Some of them its just in their nature and I try not to take it personally.

    I dont know, Im one of those people that will try and maintain friendships, over long distances or major life changes even. I dont always succeed, but it makes me feel good to try so I do.

    If I lose touch and cant find someone, it becomes up to them since Im easy to find. If they dont make a move, not much I can do about it, and they fall into those never heard from again categories. I think some people are just more prone to this type of relationship maintenance than others.
  20. metalguy2


    Dec 26, 2004
    It is more or less a pride thing man. If someone isn't calling you after the X number of attempts you have actually made. Than that just hurts your pride crawling back to that person over and over.

    An idiot that I USED to hang out with once said to me this. "Don't call anybody for a couple of weeks and you will see who your friends are." Needless to say that I didn't call him for a year or two and I still have not heard back yet.
    Something like that should weed out the people who don't really wanna hang out with you.

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