arrrgh i want to shoot myself

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Doug Parent, Sep 17, 2005.

  1. Doug Parent

    Doug Parent Supporting Member

    May 31, 2004
    San Diego, Ca.
    Dealer Nordstrand Pickups.
    Subbed for the WORST band EVER last night.

    The drummer cannot keep time, cannot keep a groove and always plays 3 bpm-6bpm SLOWER than the rest of the band, always fluctuating.

    Constant train wrecks and no one looking for ending cues. Asleep at the wheel all night.

    And I have one more night with them. Someone please shoot me.
    Anyone have a mask I can borrow?
  2. Sorry to hear that, but it comes with the territory.

    A mask or paper bag is a good idea, remove any other identifying articles as well. Then get stinky drunk.

    Another option is to fake an injury, go down to a medical supply store and pick up some kind of half cast or Ace bandages and tell them you'll give it your best shot. If they agree, fake a seizure and go home early. ;)

    Kidding of course, good luck tonight.
  3. Tell them they suck and explain all their problems right before you go on stage with them again. That will probably help the situation tremendously.
  4. Best would be a metronome put right in front of a microphone,
    so that anybody else can hear it,too.If they can`t even synchronize with that the gig will be a short one I suppose ;) .
  5. buzzbass

    buzzbass Shoo Shoo Retarded Flu !

    Apr 23, 2003
    LOL, Brown Paper Bag. The Unknown Bassist, just like the gong show :D