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Awkward Pickup Lines On The Queens-Bound G Part 1

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by hernameisrio, Nov 3, 2013.

  1. hernameisrio


    Sep 27, 2011
    Berkeley, CA
    So I was on the subway (I think I spend at least 25% of my life on the subway :/) and I had my Peavey Cirrus on me because I'd just come from rehearsal in Brooklyn. And this random dude asked me the usual, is it a bass or guitar?

    Me: Bass. (I was tired)

    Dude: What kind?

    Me: Oh it's a Peavey Cirrus.

    Dude: PV Zero?

    Me: Peavey. Cirrus, like the cloud.

    Dude: Peavey? Never heard of them.

    Me: ...um, they make amps too, usually? :)eyebrow:)

    Dude: Oh.

    Me: The bassist from Duran Duran plays one.

    Dude: Well, that would be a reason not to get one!

    Me: Eh. I like Duran Duran. (subtext: Cool story, bro) Uh yeah. I also have a Music Man. Sterling.

    Dude: What's a Music Man?

    Me: Ernie Ball? Ernie Ball Music Man. Um, y'know...Leo Fender...

    Thankfully, then I had to get off the train. It was seriously one of the most awkward conversations I've ever had about one of my basses. Here's a tip bro...if you're trying to impress me or something, don't brand-shame me.

    Ugh. :rollno:
  2. Jutsushine


    Jan 8, 2010
    I feel you man, had this happen to me in central park. Guy didn't know what a Fender was.
  3. hernameisrio


    Sep 27, 2011
    Berkeley, CA
    What? The title of the forum is "Bass Humor & Gig Stories." It's not a gig and I guess it's not that funny (just awkward), but um, it's a story. :D
  4. hernameisrio


    Sep 27, 2011
    Berkeley, CA
    Come to think of it, I should've just said it was a Fender and then he probably would've gone away. I'm just not really into deep conversations with total strangers on the subway at 1 am when I just want to get home and take my non-Fender-owning @$$ to bed. (Side note: I do want a Fender Jazz Marcus Miller signature bass though. Even if your average stranger on the street doesn't know who Marcus Miller is. :p)
  5. JohnMCA72


    Feb 4, 2009
    He was hitting on you & not doing a very good job of it.
  6. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Here's my favorite. (only vaguely related)

    I was at a lake, in Kansas, watching the sun set.

    A guy sat down next to me, and said, "are you looking for something?"

    I didn't know what he meant. Drugs? I wasn't sure. I said, "no, I'm not looking for something."

    Then I remarked what a lovely sunset it was, and he sat down nearby. I talked at great length about the pretty colors, etc, and moved onto something else, and at some point, I figured I must've become boring, because he got up, with an angry look on his face, and said, "I WAS looking for something."

    Sometime later, I told a gay friend about it, and he laughed his ass off.

    Apparently, what this guy was looking for was something I had.

    I was just too naive to know what it was.
  7. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    By the way, for the longest time, I thought you were Latin or something. Hernameisrio sounds like Hermana something or other. One day, I sussed out that it was the lyrics to a Duran Duran song.

    I am too old and married to pick you up, plus living in the wrong part of the country, but I would definitely leave you cold when I told you how when Duran Duran started to be played on my favorite radio station, I stopped listening to the radio. (them and Flock of Seagulls.)
  8. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    Once I was sitting on a park bench overlooking a lake practicing on an acoustic guitar.

    A guy walked up and sat on the other end of the bench, and after a few minutes asked, "Would you like some head?"

    I looked at him and said, "From you?"

    He said, "Yeah," and I said, "No thanks."

    He got up and walked away.
  9. hernameisrio


    Sep 27, 2011
    Berkeley, CA
    Wow Glenn, that totally out-awkwards my moment...cracks me up that you said, "No thanks!"
  10. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    Everybody that I've told thinks it's funny. I just thought I was being polite.
  11. Gopherbassist


    Jan 19, 2008
    Well this thread has gone in an unexpected direction.
  12. The title of the thread is "Awkward Pickup Lines On The Queens-Bound G Part 1". All of these pickup lines sound very awkward to me. :D
  13. Gopherbassist


    Jan 19, 2008
    I expected more stories of cheesey icebreakers that got someone nowhere, not stories of men trying to solicit gay sex from random strangers on park benches. Maybe my limited experience with park bench sitting skewed my expectations though.
  14. rust_preacher

    rust_preacher Supporting Member

    Dec 17, 2009
    "Sitting on a park bench,
    Eyeing little girls with bad intent."
  15. Uncle K

    Uncle K The bass player doesn't get a sandwich Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2011
    Erie, PA
    I was in downtown Erie with a gig bag and some meth head looking guy walked up to me.

    "What kind of guitar is that?"


    "Oh, not interested."

    "Good, cause it's not for sale."
  16. Wow. Even my mom knows Fender. And she knows about as much about music as I do about quantum physics.
  17. anytime a meth-head asks you "what kind of guitar is that" the answer should always be "squire" ....and I'm pretty sure he didn't want to buy it.....:D
  18. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
  19. Agreed with TuneIn...NEVER give in to the need to throw-down with random people on the street. If they ask, always answer "Fender Squier", even if you're lugging your best girl around.

    This is also why I bought a good off-brand plain-looking gig bag.
  20. Uncle K

    Uncle K The bass player doesn't get a sandwich Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2011
    Erie, PA
    It was actually my Fender Mustang, I wanted to make it seen as worthless as possible. Didn't feel the need to include that in my post.

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