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Axis of Evil Wannabees (not political, funny!)

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Howard K, Mar 19, 2003.


  1. Howard K

    Howard K

    Feb 14, 2002
    UK
    Axis of Evil Wannabees

    "Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

    "Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil . . . we're the best."

    "Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

    "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

    "International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs.

    Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable...."


    "With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics".

    "Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

    "While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

    "Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them."

    :D
     
  2. I didn't know John Cleese wrote that, I read it here first.

    Its pretty damn funny though :D.
     
  3. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member

    Well, that's offended just about everybody, fair enough....hey wait, where is Britain in all this, why haven't we got an Axis?

    Can we have ; "Axis Bold as Love" ? ;)
     
  4. Howard K

    Howard K

    Feb 14, 2002
    UK
    Actualy he didnt, it was from satirewire, someone misguided sent it me in an email.


    I thought Britain and America could forge our own 'Axis of appaling double standards', we just need one more country...
     
  5. moley

    moley

    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    Hahah! Though, it does sound like something Cleese would have written. Kinda Pythonesque.
     
  6. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member

    Hmmmm....this is getting pretty - well I'm not going to say it - I just think you shoud have started this in the Lobby!! ;)

    PS Spain or Bulgaria are keen to join!!
     
  7. Howard K

    Howard K

    Feb 14, 2002
    UK
    You're right, I take that back. I'll say no more about it... that piece just got to me tho, funny..

    "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable...."

    !!!
     
  8. Maybe we could have "Lizzie Borden and Her Axis" :)
     
  9. Benbass

    Benbass

    Jan 28, 2002
    Kansas
    Axe me no questions and I tell you no lies.
     
  10. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member

    Errrr - can I just say that the word Axe has nothing to do with Axis - they might share a couple of letters, but otherwise they define completely different concepts - OK carry on!
     
  11. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    ah, prophetic words indeed. :D
     
  12. Yeah, French resistance is lying down and pretending to be speed bumps...
     
  13. LOL!!! That's the funniest thing I've read in ages!!:D :cool:
     
  14. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    The funny needle only reched "medium" on my guage. Maybe that's because it's been fine tuned by the force that is www.theonion.com

    brad cook
     
  15. I saw an adendumm to that:

    "On a less conspicuous note, Lesotho, Monaco and San Marino formed the Axis of Very Small Countries that most Americans Couldn't Find if you gave them an Atlas and Directions. Prince Philip of Monaco came out with a statment. 'We really aren't trying to be intimidating or anything, we just want to boost tourism.' There has been no word yet as to France's terms of surrender."

    :D

    Rock on
    Eric:bassist:
     
  16. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    lol.
     
  17. moley

    moley

    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    [​IMG]

    Howard, you mentioned it once, but I think you got away with it :D
     
  18. Ívar Þórólfsson

    Ívar Þórólfsson Mmmmmm... Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2001
    Kopavogur, Iceland
    Man that is one funny pic! :D
     
  19. Benbass

    Benbass

    Jan 28, 2002
    Kansas
     
  20. :D :D :D


    That's All I can say.