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Discussion in 'Bass Humor [DB]' started by olps, Mar 2, 2002.
How many of you get people saying stuff like "...bassicaly, get it..." all the time?
"The bottom line is" there are too many of them.
...and if you don't believe that, I've got a bridge I'd like to sell ya.
I know we have multiple meanings here, but I heard that the new mayor of NYC is actually proposing the sale of certain bridges in the city, to bolster the budget deficit, which would give the buyers the right to assess tolls.
So, if your pocketbook is deep enough, you may truthfully be offered the opportunity to buy the Brooklyn Bridge.
Part of the deal cut at the turn of the previous century when the five boroughs consolidated into New York City was that there had to be free ways to travel from borough to borough. That, plus about 120 years of free travel across the bridge would make instituting any kind of toll dangerous to your health, if not impossible.
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and says, "Gimme a beer."
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve bears beer in Billings."
The bear says, "Gimme a beer or I'll walk to the end of your bar and eat that women sitting over there. So what do you say, how about that beer now?"
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve bears beer in Billings, especially not belligerent ones."
So the bear walks down to the end of the bar and eats the women completely up. He walks back to the bartender and says, "Are you gonna give me that beer now?"
The bartender says, I'm sorry, but we don't serve belligerent bears beer in Billings, especially not if they are on drugs."
This puzzles the bear, so he finally asks "What do you mean drugs?"
The bartender says (it helps if you say this last line slowly out loud), "Well, that was a barbituate."
You guys make me laugh.
What! You think I wished for a 12 inch Pianist.
You guys think you're PUNdits, eh? You should all be PUNished in the PUNitentiary... that's the PUNalty!
Ok, that's it, you're all just a bunch of PUNks. You should have to say your PUNance.
This is really "bass" humour, if you know what I mean...
I really feel like I'm stooping with this one:
An armless fellow gets a job as the bellringer at his church, and on Sunday morning before mass he demonstrates his technique, which is to run full-speed into the bell and ring it with his head. Not surprisingly, he dizzily fell out of the bell tower to his death. The first fellow who found him said to the next "You know this guy". The second says "not sure, but his face rings a bell".
So the dead bellringer's twin brother takes over his duties, and the next Sunday he suffers the same fate. The first fellow to get to the accident says to the next "who is this guy?". The second says "I know him, he's a dead ringer for his brother".
So in an acient kingdom there is a court jester that boasts he can get out of any situation with a pun. The king takes him up on the challange and throws the jester into the dungeon untill he uses a pun to find a way out. the jester sits in a corner a while thinking, then calles the guard over and says, "Excuse me sir, would you o-PUN the door?" *GROAN*
where's michael jewels when you need him?
quick the jewels alarm must be sounded
*A guy walked into a bar....ouch!*
that was such a PUNy attempt to get a laugh, shame on you
your all so silly but i love you all.
i wish i could think of a bass PUN but alas, it was to no aval
i dont think i spelled one word right but w/e
your post was on the bottom end until this one, though the frequency between this and my last post is lower,
That's pretty low down of me, ridiculing your punless post, I've really hit the deep end here, I'm quaking in my boots, and my perspiration is dropping, beneath it all there is an subtone of humor, that is bassed on the nature of this thread, so I hope you can forgive me, and accept my deepest apologies.
Yeah, so, I got home before my wife the other day. I'm a semi-older married dude. When she got home awhile later she asked me to take off her blouse. Ooh Boy! Then she asked me to take off her skirt. Whewee! Then she said that she didn't ever want to catch me wearing her clothes again!
ok ive deleted it
Thats funny man!
I need a new bridge for my Jazz. Is the Brooklyn Bridge adjustable?
originally posted by THE KID FROM RED BANK:
"I need a new bridge for my Jazz"
Sorry, man. Brooklyn Bridge Co. only serves DB players...