Band dynamics and life

Most of us who play bass know about dynamics in a band situation. When everyone is paying attention and working together things flow well and the music sounds sweet. It requires listening to each other and knowing your role in the band. That role is fluid and can change from moment to moment. Mostly I am there to hold down the foundation and make others sound good. When the band is tight and I see people in the audience shaking it I am happy because I am doing my job well.
There are moments when I need to take the lead and drive a song and other times when I need to step back a play quiet accents. Both are rewarding.
What about life? Isn't it kind of like that? If we all listen to each other and work together well things can be sweet. If everyone is talking at once and no one is listening things can get messy. If there are people who insist that things always go there way it can get ugly.
The flip side of that is someone who never takes responsibility for anything. They almost always let others carry the song, er I mean responsibility and can wear you out as much as people with control issues. Both can leave me drained.
There are times when I need to take leadership and not shy away from it and other times I need to step back and submit to someone else. I don't always do a good job of this. I am seldom someone who always needs to be in charge but I can be the guy who never participates and lets everyone else carry the load. But I am getting better. Just like a band there is room and even a need for all kinds of people in this world and it is good to know who we are and what our part should be.
What about you? Are you a quiet leader, a bossy pain in the pathoucky or a energy vampire who lets everyone else carry the load? Or something in between. Probably none of us do this right all the time or even often. I'm guessing that most of us are an ever changing combination of these things. What do you think?

 

Good posts. Band dynamics can also help me discover my own issues.
There are two of us in the band that always show up early and set everything up. No one has asked us to do it, probably just our nature. Of course at this point people expect us to do this and take it for granted. Several weeks ago our drummer made a nasty comment because I used the wrong quarter inch cords for his electronic drums. They was nothing wrong with the cords they are just weren't the cords he prefers. At the time I thought "Screw you, then get your lazy ass out of bed and set up your own damn drums." The whole thing says as much about me as it does about him. After thinking, praying about it I had a calm talk with him a week later. I still drag out his amp and equipment but I let him hook everything up now per our agreement. I think that is a healthy response on my part and not a knee jerk reaction.
There was a time when my reaction would have been anything from telling him to go f himself and/or quitting the band to just being resentful and fuming. All over a small comment like that. I can't afford to poison myself with resentment anymore. I have also gone through a period where I let loose and reacted with anger to things like this. That was better than the fuming and resentment at least I got it out of my system. Somehow my marriage survived that period. I listened to a lot of angry punk music at high volumes that seemed to help.

 

Nah, it's too much fun to stick around and harass him. Isn't that what drummers are for?