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Band-less for the first time in 5 years! Your advice appreciated.

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by DanielleMuscato, Sep 20, 2008.

  1. DanielleMuscato


    Jun 19, 2004
    Columbia, Missouri, USA
    Endorsing Artist, Schroeder Cabinets
    Hey folks,

    My band broke up today. It's been my life for the past 5 years. The writing's been on the wall for six months, and three months ago we stopped booking new shows & rehearsing together. All that was left to do was announce it to our fans, which I did a few hours ago.

    I'm taking a few weeks off to get settled and then I'm going to look for something new.

    How do you find the motivation to pick yourself up and start all over again? Although I truly believe and know in my heart that this was for the best, it just feels like I'm coming out of a five-year relationship, times two (we were a trio).

    Maybe I'll take a vacation or something, not even bring a bass with me, just find myself again. I had come to identify myself as the bassist of this band and I'm feeling like I don't know who I am right now. You guys been there?

    Not looking for sympathy... I'm doing fine, and this is for the best. But, I would like to hear your stories about finding the courage & motivation to pick yourself up and start over.

    Thanks! :bassist:
  2. tapp01


    Apr 10, 2008
    Wilmington, NC
    Sorry to hear that Dave.:(

    From you posts, I could always tell that you were 100% devoted to your band both emotionally and professionally. It seems that you have the right idea though. Take time for yourself. Something new is probably working its way out as I type this. Best of luck to you!
  3. Lazylion

    Lazylion Goin ahead on wit my bad self!

    Jan 25, 2006
    Frederick MD USA
    My condolences. It does leave a (temporary) hole in one's life.
    I'm sure that once you start looking for a new gig, you won't be bandless for long.
    Shall we start calling you "MM" now? Theoretically, of course! :p

    Enjoy your break.
  4. scootron

    scootron Supporting Member

    Jul 17, 2007
    Moved to Texas
    Sorry to hear, Dave.

    Don't know if this will help, but my band cratered here a few weeks ago. About two weeks later I got a call from a guy I have wanted to play with for years, wanting to know if I would be interested in putting together a new project. It may turn out to be something special.

    Point being, some doors close, others open. Hope one opens soon for you. Keep your eyes open for it.
  5. I'd say, let's hang out. :meh:
  6. You'll get a new band, I remember the first time a band break-up really affected me. I was a band that I helped start with one of my closest friends, the band had a good three run and we were beginning to become really successful (record labels, tours, you know). Well, it got to be more than some folks in the band could handle, egos went out of control, and fights aplenty needless to say I was walked and the band died shortly afterwards. That was the day I knew I always wanted to play bass and be known as a bassist and not the bassist of whatever band. I went on to learn how to read, play upright, play jazz, and have been happy playing many styles of music and meeting many different people. I also developed a passion for mountain biking, which I still love a great deal.

    Sometimes it really takes things falling apart to have progress.
  7. Same thing happened to me recently. I was so bummed, especially when I found that half the band had quit to join another one. But days later, we found out we (the wife and I) were having a baby soon. Like the dude said: One door closes, another one opens. Hopefully, the kid will be a good guitarist. Can't quit the band when dad can ground you for it!
  8. Bassamatic

    Bassamatic keepin' the beat since the 60's Supporting Member

    Well, here is a terrific opportunity for some other band to acquire a great new member.

    Taking a break is good sometimes, and it allows for new things to happen.

    Buona Fortuna!
  9. Funny I actually came into this section to complain about a situation that just ended. Some old friends of mine and I (two of the guys from the above mentioned band) decided to try playing together again after 15 years. Well, you can never go back, after one year, a few gigs I got locked out of the band's myspace page and email account. We normally rehearse on Friday nights, but last night was canceled, I found out yesterday afternoon after texting them to see if we were getting together (I already knew something was up after trying to log on to the myspace to find the password was not valid). I called the drummer, and emailed both guys to inquire about this and never got an answer.

    Funny thing is last night was gonna be my last night with them anyway since I'm leaving NY at the end of the month. Instead of telling them in person, I gave them the news in an email since they wont take or return my calls. Even better though, we're all guys in our mid-thirties, one of them with three kids.
  10. DanielleMuscato


    Jun 19, 2004
    Columbia, Missouri, USA
    Endorsing Artist, Schroeder Cabinets
    Thanks for your kind words, guys. Spade, haha... Well, I don't know if that's really the sound for me :)

    A drummer guy I know heard the news and invited me over today to jam with him and some guitar player buddy of his. We actually ended up jamming for 3-4 hours and they want to do it again.

    I'm not sure where that is gonna go, but the music was a lot of fun. The guitarist was playing a jazzbox with a crystal clean amp tone and a looper pedal for comping/soloing, almost bossa type stuff, and the drummer had a kind-of simple, jazzy but heavy, new wave/punk-rock thing going. With my background in funk bass, it was an interesting mixture. I recorded the whole thing on my Zoom H2; I might have to post some clips for the heck of it. I dunno; we'll see what comes of it.

    In the meantime, I was invited to join an instrumental jazz soloist (guitar) on bass or second guitar, to play background music at restaurants and such. I might take him up on it while I'm looking for/forming another working band. I have some sessions coming up this week, so I at least have some work ahead.

    I'm sure I'll find something when I'm ready. The hardest thing is not so much the band, but the guys - my old drummer (of the band that just broke up), I have known since we were in 5th grade, and we've been playing together in various bands since junior high. The guitarist, I've only known for five years, but the three of us sounded great together, I think, and these two guys have been two of my closest friends, although not so much these last six months. It makes me sad that I won't be playing with them now, but it is for the best.

    Say, you guys know any bands looking for a bassist? :smug:

    Thanks again for your posts; I appreciate it.

  11. Darkstrike

    Darkstrike Return Of The King!

    Sep 14, 2007
    Just keep on keepin' on, you'll happen on a new project sometime, which seems to be happening already, by your last post.

    Wanna start an all bass band, 'bout 80,000 of us?
  12. Whoa! That stuff is pretty wild.
  13. I think getting away from the guys you've been working with for a while will do you some good. New players = opportunity for growth. Sounds like you've got some good stuff happening.
  14. Wild my arse, that stuff is horrible!!!!!!!

    I'm hoping it's not the sound for anyone here. LOL, I can't even beg for an audition and this is the type of clowns who won't leave me alone. .....so, I don't suggest Omaha for ya. :p
  15. Eilif

    Eilif Holding it down in K-Town. Supporting Member

    Oct 1, 2001
    Sorry to hear about your band Dave,
    I'm a bit hesitant to offer too much advice, but I'd say get back out there. My last band was together 4 years. When I was preparing to leave, I had no idea what I was going to do. I hit craigslist, and had a new band in a week. I've been with them a year an a half, and it's great!
    Craigslist is not always so friendly, and based on what you've posted most recently, it sounds like you may have enough connections that you won't have to fish in that pond, but it can't hurt.
    All the best.
  16. Horrible doesn't begin to describe that stuff. Vocabularies fail to describe it. I do like the the picture of the guy spitting flames though!

    I'm sure someone is reading this and thinking "man I'm gonna move to Omaha to play with that dude!"
  17. Dave, that's more or less exactly what happened to me - twice! I was bandless for almost 10 years, and I never let it get me down. My first band, Bittersweet (we had to change our name from "Glycerine" after the Bush song came out), played a LOT in and around my hometown area, but the writing was pretty much on the wall from day one. Bunch of teenagers with teenager attitudes, 'nuff said. We played together for a couple of years, which is a long time for a teenager.

    I joined the Navy, basically stopped playing (aside from noodling around every once in a while) and focused on my career. As my career started moving along, my desire for an outlet for my stress got me back into bass - only now I was far more mature, and had an ear for almost any kind of music (except that stuff posted above ;))

    Got into Twice Removed, played a dozen or so gigs over a space of a year, but we rehearsed pretty regularly, and got to know each other fairly well... Until my lead guitarist decided we "didn't have the heart" and called it quits.

    Now I'm jamming with everyone I can get in touch with, just for the joy of playing with others, but I'm not stressing the lack of band - it's just a phase. Sounds like you've got a good thing already headed your way, but don't feel like you have to be in a band.
  18. mrokern

    mrokern TB's resident Rush freak

    Jul 20, 2007
    Minneapolis, MN
    Are these the guys from Nebraska who have been posting all over Craigslist offering relocation? :eyebrow:
  19. Relocation! Suddenly the package grows very appealing. :bag:

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